u/-anonfitness-

My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) have been together for 3 years. We are long distance while I’m at uni, but spend the summers together.

I’m finishing my 2nd year of uni and sit my final exam tomorrow before moving out of my accommodation this week. I’ve been struggling badly mentally this past month and have basically spent the last 4 weeks isolated in my room studying 8-10 hours a day trying to get through my exams. He knows how difficult it’s been.

What’s upsetting me is that he’s taken almost no interest in my move out plans or when I’m actually coming back home. The only thing he’s really checked is whether I’ll be back in time for a pub quiz at his friend’s work.

I don’t necessarily think it’s fair to expect him to physically help me move because he doesn’t drive, and it would be a long journey for him (4 hours) just to help me carry things to my car, but I still feel hurt that he hasn’t even offered or really checked in with me at all about it. He doesn’t even know when exactly I’ll be back, and hasn’t bothered to ask, he only seems to care about me being back for the pub quiz. I’m having to fully move out and deep clean my accommodation alone, and I may even need to do two separate trips because I don’t think everything will fit in my car.

We also didn’t celebrate my birthday because I was too busy studying, and he said we’d celebrate later once I was home for the summer, but now I’m starting to feel like the pub quiz at his friends work might be the “celebration.”

I don’t know if I’m being oversensitive because I’m exhausted/stressed and recently came off birth control, but I think what’s actually upsetting me is that I don’t feel emotionally supported or prioritised at all right now. Even just hearing “I’m proud of you” or “let me know if you need anything” would’ve meant a lot to me.

AITAH for feeling unsupported by him?

Edit: would also like to add that he’s currently only working 2-4x a week, so lack of time isn’t the issue here. My mum actually made a comment to him about how she won’t be able to come up and help and how I could really be doing with a hand, he apparently very hesitantly commented that he could maybe come up and help if he has the time off work (which I know he does) but he is yet to offer up any help at all and is being very elusive with his plans for the week.

My boyfriend and I (both 25) have been together for 3 years and are long distance while I’m away at university. Lately I’ve started seriously questioning whether we’re fundamentally incompatible lifestyle-wise, and I don’t know if I’m being unfair.

He currently only works 2 days a week because his hours were “temporarily” reduced back in January. He complains a lot about money and says he’s dipping into savings, but also says he “can’t be bothered” looking for another job right now. Since the start of our relationship he’s talked about learning to drive, going back to college and changing careers, but never actually follows through.

On his 5 days off he usually stays up until 5-6am gaming/watching TV/smoking and then sleeps until 2-4pm the next day. Meanwhile I’m currently in exam season studying 8-10 hours a day trying to get through my degree, so I think the contrast is making me see his habits differently lately.

I recently stayed with him for a couple of weeks while back from university and honestly found the routine draining. We often wouldn’t eat dinner until midnight because he “wasn’t hungry yet,” and I’d end up awkwardly waiting because eating separately felt awkward. Sometimes I’d be awake for hours in the morning bored while he slept most of the day away.

The thing that really pushed me over the edge was when we made plans to go somewhere together and agreed I’d pick him up at 12. By 12 I’d heard nothing from him. I ended up having to physically go to his flat and wake him because he’d stayed up gaming all night and slept through our plans. He barely apologised and just said he forgot to set an alarm.

There have been other moments too, like him arriving extremely late when visiting me at uni because he’d stayed up gaming until morning, or me feeling weirdly judged for being hungry during the day because he only likes eating one meal late at night.

The problem is that outside of this, he can also be affectionate, funny and caring. But lately I’ve started feeling more like his exhausted mother than his girlfriend, and I’m beginning to lose attraction because of it.

AITA for finding this lifestyle increasingly unattractive and wondering if this is a genuine incompatibility rather than me just being stressed over exams?

I’m a 2nd year uni student and I genuinely can’t decide whether to sit an exam I’m likely to fail or defer it. I’ve had constant back-to-back exams recently and I’ve been struggling badly with depression during this period. I had a neuroscience exam yesterday, have a biology exam tomorrow, and then only one psychology exam left next week.

The problem is that I’m massively unprepared for biology. I only really started revising properly yesterday because I’ve been in a depressive episode, and I severely underestimated how much content there was to memorise.

The exam is split into 3 sections:
Essay (40%)
Problem solving (40%)
MCQ (20%)

You need 7/20 overall to pass. However, if you get between 4–6.9, you’re allowed a resit. The resit is online/open-book, but capped at 7/20. If you score too low for the resit, you have to retake the whole module next year.
If I defer, I’d likely sit the exam around late May/early June instead.

Right now I’m only confident on maybe 2 out of 22 topics, so sitting it tomorrow feels like a huge gamble depending on what comes up. But part of me wonders whether it’s worth attempting anyway in hopes of getting into the resit bracket.

I’ve practiced 2 past papers and gotten round about 4.5/20, which would put me in the online resit if I performed similarly tomorrow (aiming for the online resit is probably my best chance at this point anyway if I do sit it).

Any advice would be appreciated.

TL;DR: do I sit an exam I am likely to fail tomorrow and take the gamble I get enough to be entitled to an online resit?

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 3 years. We were chatting casually over text and he said something that really shocked me, and it escalated from there. I haven’t replied to his last message yet because I don’t know how to respond.

It started with him making a comment about not liking a place when it’s “full of certain ethnic groups.” I told him that was a strange thing to say and called it out.

He then argued that he’s not racist, but that certain groups “don’t belong here” because of how they behave. I responded that it’s not fair to judge entire groups based on the behaviour of some individuals.

After that, he went on a long rant about immigrants, saying they are ruining the country, don’t integrate, and are a burden on society. He also made very strong negative comments about a specific religion and said they shouldn’t be allowed here.

He did briefly say “not all of them,” but continued to generalise entire communities.

I know people can have different views on immigration, but this felt extreme and has made me really uncomfortable and honestly blindsided by how harsh his views are.

I’d appreciate advice on how to handle this.