My parents don’t approve of my girlfriend because she’s not a college graduate and comes from a “bad background."
I’ve been opening up here on these past few months about my relationship, but for context: I (24M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for 3 and a half years now. She’s been my best friend since 2019, and we confessed to each other in 2023, which is when we officially became a couple.
Honestly, we’re doing great. We’re open with each other, supportive in everything, and we already talk a lot about our future—businesses, finances, how we want to live together, and the life we want to build. We both genuinely want to become successful and grow together someday.
She currently works at an international security/surveillance firm and earns above minimum wage even though she’s not a college graduate. She actually enjoys her work because compared to her previous jobs (BPO and others), this one doesn’t drain her mentally.
Meanwhile, I’m still an architecture student and currently preparing for my thesis redefense this July. I didn’t graduate this June because I fell short in my final jury average (to be fair, I kind of argued with one of the panelists during defense so… yeah HAHAHA). But I’m okay now—mostly revisions and comments left and I’m confident I’ll pass this time.
The problem is that my parents don’t approve of my girlfriend. Their main reason is that she’s not a graduate and, according to them, she comes from a “bad background.”
She comes from a broken family, and recently her father’s business went bankrupt, which forced her to stop college midway since she studied in a private university.
But what frustrates me is that I feel like they only see her situation and not who she actually is.
Despite everything that happened, she never gave up. She worked different jobs just to support herself. She did mall selling, worked in BPO, and eventually got accepted into her current company. There were times they barely had food at home, but she still kept pushing through.
And what I admire the most is that she never asked me for money.
Back then, I was the one insisting on helping her with food or giving extra budget from my savings whenever she was short. But now things have flipped—she’s usually the one treating me because I still haven’t graduated, and she often pays during our dates.
But despite all that, my parents still think she must be hiding something. They think she might just be using me because I’m taking architecture. They think if we become successful in the future, she’ll benefit the most and use everything to finish her studies.
They only found out about my relationship last November, and ever since then it’s been nonstop assumptions: broken family means bad influence, she’ll get pregnant early, she’ll flirt with other men at work, and that she’s temporary because she’s “just a girlfriend.”
It’s frustrating because throughout my entire college life, she has never been a bad influence.
She supported me through plates, projects, exams, and thesis. Even when she barely had money, she still found ways to make sure I had something to eat. She helped me with layouts, PowerPoints, presentations, and honestly became one of the reasons I stayed sane.
Over the past few years, I’ve experienced a lot of disappointments and betrayals from people I considered friends, and she became my support system through all of that.
But my parents don’t know those things. And sometimes I feel like even if I explain them, all I’ll hear back is another lecture and more judgment.
All I really want is for them to accept her and understand that she’s not temporary in my life.
I’m not the type of guy who dates just to date. I date to marry.
And for me, yes, she’s not perfect. But the woman she’s trying to become and the person she continues building herself into—that’s the person I want, and that’s the person I love.
What hurts even more is that she knows everything they’ve said about her and her family. But despite all that, she still never forgets to give flowers and gifts to my mom and grandma during occasions like Mother’s Day, Christmas, and other events.
That’s honestly something I admire about her even more.
Sorry this got long. I’m just having a hard time because it feels like so many other parents I’ve talked to appreciate her effort and resilience, but my own parents can’t seem to see it.