Things are so bad right now it feels made up.

A few months ago, we rushed my mom to the hospital because we thought she was having a stroke. Turns out she has a super rare cancer in her spinal cord the doctors have never seen. After months of unsuccessful stays in the hospital, she is now partially paralyzed and lost her ability to walk and feed herself. 3 months ago she was watching my neice, gardening and going to the gym daily, now she's recovering from emergency surgery and getting intensive rehab just to be able use the bathroom. My mom is the nicest, best person in the world, and it is so hard to see her like this. My dad is crying everyday and my siblings are struggling. I feel immeasurably grateful that I get to spend this time with her, but it is so hard.

I'm crushed, and it just doesn't feel real.

In the background, my wife (mid 30's F) and I (mid 30's M)(married 2 years) have been struggling since marriage and separated a few months before my mom got sick. We dated since college (in our early 30's now) and have survived many hardships together (her mental illness, her gma dying suddenly, her family falling apart, father in law got cancer). Honestly, I hoped that getting married would help resolve some of our issues. Obviously, it didn't.

It feels worse to talk to her about my mom than to talk to no one. And in the weeks since my mom has gotten out of the hospital, my wife has picked multiple "storm out of the room" fights with me where I can't even speak without being shut down.

I've rarely felt heard or truly cared for in my relationship, but still, not being able to talk to her after coming home from crying with my paralyzed mother feels devastating in a way I didn't think possible.

Next week is our two week anniversary, and I think I just want to ask for a divorce, but how am I supposed to survive all of this?

How have you all managed a sick parent, shock, grief? How can I take advantage of this time with her and make her feel loved and cared for?

What do I say to my wife? How do I survive this?

It feels like a dream just writing this.

Things are so bad right now it feels made up.

A few months ago, we rushed my mom to the hospital because we thought she was having a stroke. Turns out she has a super rare cancer in her spinal cord the doctors have never seen. After months of unsuccessful stays in the hospital, she is now partially paralyzed and lost her ability to walk and feed herself. 3 months ago she was watching my neice, gardening and going to the gym daily, now she's recovering from emergency surgery and getting intensive rehab just to be able use the bathroom. My mom is the nicest, best person in the world, and it is so hard to see her like this. My dad is crying everyday and my siblings are struggling. I feel immeasurably grateful that I get to spend this time with her, but it is so hard.

I'm crushed, and it just doesn't feel real.

In the background, my wife (mid 30's F) and I (mid 30's M)(married 2 years) have been struggling since marriage and separated a few months before my mom got sick. We dated since college (in our early 30's now) and have survived many hardships together (her mental illness, her gma dying suddenly, her family falling apart, father in law got cancer). Honestly, I hoped that getting married would help resolve some of our issues. Obviously, it didn't.

It feels worse to talk to her about my mom than to talk to no one. And in the weeks since my mom has gotten out of the hospital, my wife has picked multiple "storm out of the room" fights with me where I can't even speak without being shut down.

I've rarely felt heard or truly cared for in my relationship, but still, not being able to talk to her after coming home from crying with my paralyzed mother feels devastating in a way I didn't think possible.

Next week is our two week anniversary, and I think I just want to ask for a divorce, but how am I supposed to survive all of this?

How have you all managed a sick parent, shock, grief? How can I take advantage of this time with her and make her feel loved and cared for?

What do I say to my wife? How do I survive this?

It feels like a dream just writing this.

Things are so bad right now it feels made up.

A few months ago, we rushed my mom to the hospital because we thought she was having a stroke. Turns out she has a super rare cancer in her spinal cord the doctors have never seen. After months of unsuccessful stays in the hospital, she is now partially paralyzed and lost her ability to walk and feed herself. 3 months ago she was watching my neice, gardening and going to the gym daily, now she's recovering from emergency surgery and getting intensive rehab just to be able use the bathroom. My mom is the nicest, best person in the world, and it is so hard to see her like this. My dad is crying everyday and my siblings are struggling. I feel immeasurably grateful that I get to spend this time with her, but it is so hard.

I'm crushed, and it just doesn't feel real.

In the background, my wife (mid 30's F) and I (mid 30's M)(married 2 years) have been struggling since marriage and separated a few months before my mom got sick. We dated since college (in our early 30's now) and have survived many hardships together (her mental illness, her gma dying suddenly, her family falling apart, father in law got cancer). Honestly, I hoped that getting married would help resolve some of our issues. Obviously, it didn't.

It feels worse to talk to her about my mom than to talk to no one. And in the weeks since my mom has gotten out of the hospital, my wife has picked multiple "storm out of the room" fights with me where I can't even speak without being shut down.

I've rarely felt heard or truly cared for in my relationship, but still, not being able to talk to her after coming home from crying with my paralyzed mother feels devastating in a way I didn't think possible.

Next week is our two week anniversary, and I think I just want to ask for a divorce, but how am I supposed to survive all of this?

How have you all managed a sick parent, shock, grief? How can I take advantage of this time with her and make her feel loved and cared for?

What do I say to my wife? How do I survive this?

It feels like a dream just writing this.