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u/24bnxscape

▲ 1 r/pornfree

31 days porn-free, in flatline — worried about real sex this weekend

Hey guys,

I’m currently 31 days porn-free. No porn, no PMO. For the last 2-3 weeks I’m pretty sure I’ve been in a flatline.

The weird thing is: I have basically zero urges to fap, but also not much drive to have sex either. My libido feels kind of muted/offline. I’m not disgusted by sex or anything, I just don’t feel that strong sexual pull right now.

Important context: I’m also taking SSRIs, so I know that could also play a role in low libido / sexual side effects. I also got Sildenafil prescribed by my doctor, but I’m not really sure how to think about it in this situation.

I’m in an open poly relationship with my GF. There isn’t a second partner yet, but that’s part of our relationship structure. During this streak I had sex with my GF maybe 4-5 times, mostly when cuddling naturally turned into being horny. So it wasn’t forced, and it felt more like real intimacy than chasing a dopamine hit.
Also I had a hook up in a darkroom last week and I was hard at first and than I got soft, after thinking too much about it. He tried everything, but didn't got me hard again 😃

This weekend I’m meeting my FWB, and there’s a good chance we’ll have sex. There might even be more developing between us emotionally, so I’m excited but also a bit nervous.

My questions are:

Can you still get naturally aroused with a real person while being in flatline?
How do I know what’s flatline and what might be SSRI-related?
Does Sildenafil help in this kind of situation, or does it only help with erections once you’re already mentally/emotionally turned on?
Should I avoid using it unless I actually need it, or is it okay to see it as a temporary safety net?

I don’t want to use sex as a replacement addiction, and I don’t want to turn this into a “performance test.” I also don’t want to get into my head too much and create performance anxiety out of nowhere.

Has anyone here had real sex during flatline, especially while also being on SSRIs?
Did arousal come back in the moment, or did things stay dead?
And did anyone use prescribed Sildenafil during reboot/recovery without it messing with their progress?

Stay strong.

reddit.com
u/24bnxscape — 16 hours ago
▲ 1 r/PornAddiction

31 days porn-free, in flatline — worried about real sex this weekend

Hey guys,

I’m currently 31 days porn-free. No porn, no PMO. For the last 2-3 weeks I’m pretty sure I’ve been in a flatline.

The weird thing is: I have basically zero urges to fap, but also not much drive to have sex either. My libido feels kind of muted/offline. I’m not disgusted by sex or anything, I just don’t feel that strong sexual pull right now.

Important context: I’m also taking SSRIs, so I know that could also play a role in low libido / sexual side effects. I also got Sildenafil prescribed by my doctor, but I’m not really sure how to think about it in this situation.

I’m in an open poly relationship with my GF. There isn’t a second partner yet, but that’s part of our relationship structure. During this streak I had sex with my GF maybe 4-5 times, mostly when cuddling naturally turned into being horny. So it wasn’t forced, and it felt more like real intimacy than chasing a dopamine hit.
Also I had a hook up in a darkroom last week and I was hard at first and than I got soft, after thinking too much about it. He tried everything, but didn't got me hard again 😃

This weekend I’m meeting my FWB, and there’s a good chance we’ll have sex. There might even be more developing between us emotionally, so I’m excited but also a bit nervous.

My questions are:

Can you still get naturally aroused with a real person while being in flatline?
How do I know what’s flatline and what might be SSRI-related?
Does Sildenafil help in this kind of situation, or does it only help with erections once you’re already mentally/emotionally turned on?
Should I avoid using it unless I actually need it, or is it okay to see it as a temporary safety net?

I don’t want to use sex as a replacement addiction, and I don’t want to turn this into a “performance test.” I also don’t want to get into my head too much and create performance anxiety out of nowhere.

Has anyone here had real sex during flatline, especially while also being on SSRIs?
Did arousal come back in the moment, or did things stay dead?
And did anyone use prescribed Sildenafil during reboot/recovery without it messing with their progress?

Stay strong.

reddit.com
u/24bnxscape — 16 hours ago
▲ 22 r/QueereBuecher+1 crossposts

The Last True Poets of the Sea – Julia Drake [WLW, Bi]

TW: Suizidalität, minimale sexualisierte Gewalt

Nachdem sich Violet's Bruder versucht, das Leben zu nehmen, braucht die Familie eine Auszeit und Violet soll einige Zeit im alten Heimatort der Familie bei ihrem dort lebenden Onkel verbringen. Das eingeschlafene Örtchen ist nach dem Schiffswrack der Lyric benannt, welchem Violet's Urururgroßmutter entkommen und sich dort niederlassen konnte. Im ortseigenen Aquarium lernt sie zunächst Orion und durch ihn die Hobbyforscherin Liv kennen, die versucht den Ort des verschollenen Schiffswracks aufzuspüren.

Der Roman, mit einem meiner Meinung nach hervorragendem Cover, ist der Debütroman von Julia Drake. Ich hatte das Buch zwar von einer Empfehlungsliste für queere Bücher, dennoch wenig Hoffnung auf eine komplexe queere Geschichte, als ich die ersten Seiten las. Es fühlt sich nämlich zunächst an wie eine sehr generische Liebesgeschichte. Denn natürlich ist unsere Protagonistin skinny, white, beautiful und hat wohl ein Problem damit, dass sie ständig zu viele Leute aufreisst. So scheint es anfangs, als sie beginnt, im Aquarium zu arbeiten und Orion wie nichts anhimmelt.
Nach ca. 60 Seiten schlägt der Roman aber plötzlich einen anderen Ton an. Ab dem Kapitel Fun's night out: Lyric Edition zeigt die Autorin, was sie drauf hat und beginnt, die Vergangenheit der Protagonistin wirklich ernst zu nehmen und ihre Hookup culture als Traumareaktion zu etablieren.
Von dem Moment an hab ich mich in den Roman verliebt. Tolle Charaktere, verschiedenste Themen und ein extrem realistisch und spannend zu erlebender Prozess innerhalb der Protagonistin, die ihre Gefühle ordnet und im richtigen Moment viel zu oft das Falsche sagt. Fühlte sich sehr queer an. Toll.
Klar, zwischendurch gibt es ordentlich plot armour, ein wenig Teenie-Pathos und ein etwas zu schnelles Ende. Aber das kann ich dem Buch absolut verzeihen, weil es mich so eingesaugt und mitgerissen hat.

Große Empfehlung! :)

(Gibt's allerdings nur auf Englisch)

u/24bnxscape — 15 days ago