u/25_WR450R

So after 10 days of literally zero communication from my wife with me or my kids she finally surfaced in Washington at a detox facility. She called and informed my kids and I that she was safe and alive. During the time she was gone, all 4 of my children had mental breakdowns due to missing their mom, who they thought abandoned them, regardless of how I tried to explain it to them. My 5 yr old had taken it exceptionally hard, and I've had to take off work to stay home with her because she's had breakdowns in class, every day. The school calls me because they can't console her. I'm now at risk of losing my job (I am the sole income provider at this point because my wife was fired) because I can't keep up with the requirements of my job because I have to care for my child. I have no family or other options for care.

My wife had just enrolled into a rehab program and called me again. I explained the situation I am in, how our children are absolutely destroyed by her choice way of leaving us. She said she's going to try and come home but she doesn't know if "she can" yet she is in a voluntary rehab program.

I am so conflicted at this point. She's put me in such a predicament, with zero options, and I feel that she's being selfish as she has caused absolute trauma to our children, and doesn't seemed overly concerned about it.

Any advice? My counselor has offered bits of advice but I'd like to hear what others here would offer? Thanks!

Dad of 4 here...long story short, my wife has been battling addiction (kratom/Suboxone/alcohol) for quite some time now. On Saturday 5/9, she was in a drunken rage and tried to fight my 9yr old son. I stepped in, and took all my kids and went to a hotel for the night. While I was at the hotel, I got a camera notification at about 1030pm, and it was my wife leaving the house with a suitcase and getting into an Uber.

About 30 mins later she sends a text message to my son's phone that says "I'm going to get healthy I'll see you soon, goodbye" and that was the last that any of us have heard from her. Her phone is off. I looked at my phone record and saw she was talking to her mom in Washington the same time she left the house.

I believe she went to Washington to go to a recovery center (there's very few in my state) and to be with her side of the family (they don't speak to me). On Tuesday, 5/12, none of us had heard anything from her or know where she was. I called the police in the area of Washington her mom lives and they spoke to the Mother. She told them my wife is "in inpatient treatment and doesn't want to be found or contacted by my kids or me" so we are still in the dark.

My 4 kids (3,5,9,11) are all distraught, heartbroken, and confused. It's a total mess and disaster and I hate that my kids are going through this. We have no idea where she is, or if she will ever return.

I don't know what to tell them, aside from being there and reassuring them I love them. I don't know if my wife will even return.

I guess I'm just venting now, but any advice? Anything?