u/2xxadxx2

Bit by bit I started to realize how there’s really nothing out there for me. Lost everything and it’s so hard to continue to act like everything is fine, I mean im okay but I can’t even fit in just making things worse for my mental state. Like why can’t I just be a boring npc and live like everyone else? Why do I have to deal with some bs that makes it feel like im drowning and can’t breathe. The world is a wicked place, can’t wait till the aliens come home not gonna lie.

Sooo I don’t really have any friends irl and just want to try online maybe? I like games, anime, music, and reading. I don’t do much, but I am online most of the time either doom scrolling or just seeing what’s up with news or internet stuff like streamers. Though I also do enjoy crime or scary videos on YouTube as it’s my favorite pass time, recently I’ve been seeing Dr. Insanity and Chilling Scares. As I am socially awkward, I tend to be mute in certain situations so I don’t do any voice chats or calls, maybe voice chats later down the line, but I have to be comfortable.

Just trying to find others who are friendless as me since it seems more fitting, rather than someone who has so many friends since I don’t feel like I can be of any use there.

As well as people around 23 and around my time zone. Not looking for any potential “love relationships” so sorry. Simply just friendships.

I probably have much more stuff, but yea im not thaaat boring lol I just never know how to describe myself 💀

Went out for a walk to try and clear my head, but I couldn’t help but think how lonely I really am. what didn’t help was the park was dead so made it feel more surreal and that even though im lonely things just keep going. Least I had my music on though. Tired of this feeling get it off me

Vent:
Not sure why, but every time I try and venture out, I get humbled and remember why I don’t have many friends. I mean I can chat without talking quite fine, but once it comes to speaking everything just goes down hill. I hate it, I just want to talk without feeling the pain of awkwardness fall over me. I try to hard, but never able to get the sentences out without pausing or feeling my heartbeat beat crazy fast. I’m only 23 and the more I im not able to talk without feeling anxiety and awkwardness, it makes me feel like shit, seeing how maybe im just going to be friendless forever. Im just tired of it, but nothing ever helps