Talk of discharge in the next few days, is there anything we should do or know that will make the transition easier? Any advice or must-haves, any routines or hacks? I simultaneously feel as prepared as I could ever be and also like I’m not ready at all.
Not allowed any visitors, but he's already 3 weeks and over a pound bigger than when he was born so tomorrow I'm going to take my camera and try to take a few myself before he gets any bigger. I was going to take my canon and my macro lens and my standard (can't remember the specs, brain is mush sorry) basically a kit lens but the upgraded version.. I got a white sherpa blanket to lay him on, and a blue blanket to wrap him in. I've only ever done pets, nature, and adult portraits so I have basic understanding of my camera and adobe but I've never tried to maneuver and pose a new born, who's technically 3 weeks old already. I can't move him too much, we can't make him agitated, he has some wake time and some heavy sleep time, but I'm afraid we've missed our window for cute newborn photos.
Baby is 3 weeks old, almost 38 weeks corrected, doing well all things considered but my time at home was 12 weeks off. Normal, right? You take your 12 weeks of maternity leave- really that's very gracious in the US- and get 12 weeks at home to recover and get to know your baby. Except, my 12 weeks includes 5 weeks of bedrest prior to c section so I'm supposed to go back on 8/4, and my baby doesn't even have a discharge date yet. I always said I wanted to maintain my career, and I do. I love my job. But I have missed out on 3 weeks of bonding time as it is, and whenever he comes home I'll have a couple weeks to hold onto him before I have to go back to work. I'm missing so much already... and I have no room to complain. I know that. I know a lot of you guys have it so much worse, ironically I work in a NICU sister unit at my hospital so I know what it's like for some babies, months or over a year stay sometimes. But my husband's hours were just cut this week at work so I truly need to go back full time (I had been hoping to go back part time to start). But I can't believe i've missed weeks worth of holding and cuddling and I'm going to miss even more because my back to work date is so soon after delivery. Less than 2 months after delivery, barely 7 weeks after my c section. People keep telling me it's ok, this will all be behind us soon enough and I won't miss it, but we think he will be our one and only and to think that I won't get newborn time... I guess it doesn't matter, in the grand scheme of things. That's not the point, right? Or is it? I don't know. People keep saying every thing under the sun and I don't know what to feel any more.
I love green bean casserole (don’t judge me) but can’t find gluten free onions so I took gluten free lance crackers, crushed them up, added a little melted butter and onion powder and baked them on top. It’s great.
Captain (as in America) aka Capitan aka Squirt aka Asshole, is almost 12 years old and I’ve him since 9 weeks. He is a pet store dog, probably a puppy mill dog, before I understood what pet stores and puppy mills were. My ex and I walked into a pet store to get dog food for my other dog, somebody handed me a puppy to hold until a staff member could take him back, he fell asleep in my arms, and $3,000 later I walked out with the dog that had taught me everything I know about dog behavior and training, the dog who just shit in my bed while I was in the hospital for the last month because my husband who has taken care of him every day for 8 years, who carried his ass 2 miles down a mountain in the dark after he got hurt and literally couldn’t walk, was not a sufficient caregiver in my absence.
I’m convinced Captain is either part alien, or part human. He’s kind of an asshole, literally to everybody and every dog except me. I’m truly his person, he hates everyone else, he doesn’t like other dogs except the ones he was raised around. He’s not your typical golden retriever by any means. He’s not friendly or playful. He likes my husband enough to live with us, to let my husband walk him if I’m with them, but nobody else. He’s not mean, he doesn’t bite, he just doesn’t give a single ounce of care to anybody else. He played with the 2 dogs I already had when he was a puppy, he tolerated my husbands dog when he moved in, he tolerated the puppy we got when he was 8 years old, but he doesn’t play with any of them. He’s doesn’t fetch. He has no drive. He doesn’t chew. He doesn’t chase. He really wont even play with me. There’s no way he’s a real dog. All he wants is to lay in my lap or beside me. Maybe swim and dig a hole, or go for a car ride, no head out the window though. He just likes to watch everything as we drive.
By 2 years old I knew I had a difficult dog on my hands because he was reactive and I couldn’t walk him. I found a great trainer and I poured myself into studying dog body language, communication, and behavior so I understood him. The classes and everything I did with him, developing a way for us to communicate with the lift of an eyebrow- I’m not even exaggerating, he’s painfully perceptive to facial expressions and we communicate largely through eye contact at this point- I think it bonded us. Of course it did. But his personality made it to where he decided nobody else was going to take the time to learn him and he was only going to like me. Maybe halfway like my husband.
I also believe 100% he understands every word that comes out of my mouth. The entire sentence. And I suspected, just the way he looks at us, the way I’ve communicated with him, but it really landed when I was complaining to my husband a couple months ago that our oldest dog passed last year and he always laid at my feed while at my desk or at the table, it’d been a year without my feet being warmed while I game and the next day? Captain America curled up under my desk, now where he sleeps every day, where he’s currently in a donut as I type this. This dog isn’t real. He’s part human. He has to be.
I've been in the hospital 3 weeks for a very high risk pregnancy and he visited a few times, brought clean clothes, food a couple times, spent no more than a couple hours with me the entire time. Fine, he's working 3 days a week, we have dogs, he gets bored while he's here, whatever. But we have the procedure, I have the procedure, the baby is in the NICU, and 24 hours in he's complaining that "this sucks" "i'm tired" "my body hurts from this couch" "I can't be somebody's caretaker 24/7" "I want to go home" "you keep waking me up for help" I straight up told him all this hurt my feelings and it feels very personal, why am I expected to be keeping myself together and he's over here being a fucking baby while I'm not even getting pain medicine after being my insides ripped apart because I keep having bad reactions? He said he feels like he can't express his emotions now because I invalidated his experience, and he had to audacity to tell me to stop complaining about being in pain since I can't take the medicine I shouldn't be making noises and faces when I move around. I'm just. I can't.
Enjoy my plain unsalted chicken breast, canned green beans, and no sour cream or butter baked potato for dinner…
Currently inpatient for a very high risk pregnancy that was not unwanted but unplanned I guess you could say.
Been married 6 years now maybe 7, we always wanted to foster but were waiting until we were done being DINKS. Somewhere around Jan 2025 the biological clock poked us and we said “maybe we should have our own” so we started half heartedly trying. It didn’t happen. No sweat. 8 months later I’m making an appointment to get my tubes tied, he’s finding a doc for a vasectomy, we will travel until we’re ready to foster.
The universe didn’t like that plan and 3 weeks before my appointment I was pregnant. I had a panic attack out of fear and not excitement when I found out because I was so far removed from the concept of motherhood at that point. My mind kept whispering “you could get an abortion” but we talked and decided yes we want the baby, even if pregnancy wasn’t originally in the cards.
Pregnancy was as crappy as any other, until 18 weeks. Suddenly I’m high risk. My placenta isn’t right. His blood vessels aren’t right. It’s a very rare malformation that they almost never see, I’m the only patient in the entire clinic with it currently. If there’s any bleeding we both could die. Very serious. Appointments and ultrasounds every 2 weeks with a specialist to monitor.
Nothing happens, thankfully. 29 weeks rolls around and they want me out of work, so now I’m on disability, and then to be inpatient for monitoring. I push it to 32 weeks, compromising with twice weekly appointments and at home monitoring and bed rest. I understand the risks but I can sit and do nothing at home for an extra 2.5 weeks.
I’ve now been in for 7 days. They check him and me 3 times a day. I have blood drawn every other day to make sure I’m compatible with the donor blood on hand in case I spontaneously hemorrhage. I’ve developed preeclampsia on top of it, which is scary too. Husband has to keep working. My parents are 8 hours away at best. I have a c section scheduled a little after 34 weeks because if we go any further he and I may not make it. And because of how things developed, the c section is very risky for myself especially, recovery is going to be rocky if I make it through. My husband has expressed his fear over losing me several times. I am sitting here terrified I’m spending my last 3 weeks alive in the hospital away from my dogs and husband.
And to top it off. He’ll be born 6 weeks early. He has to go to the nicu. I’m sure he’ll be fine but it’s still kind of a big deal. His lungs aren’t developed all the way. He can’t eat yet. He’s not fine and he shouldn’t be out this early.
This is insanity. I didn’t want the pregnancy. We would have been fine without it. I want our son, WE want our son, but we didn’t want this. If we’d known it’d go like this we wouldn’t have done it. I mean that’s what they all say right? Hindsight and whatnot. I’m not a martyr. I’m not a “it’ll all be worth it” type of person. We would have been happy without kids. We will be happy with kids too. That’s not the point. I’m just mad that it turned into this. It wasn’t even something we deeply wanted to do, we could have had a family a number of other ways, and instead this is what we got.
I know “it’ll all be behind you soon enough” and “you won’t even remember these days” and “it’ll all be worth it” or whatever other shitty things people keep telling me. People who said they prayed and prayed we’d have a kid because we’d be great parents. I hope they’re happy. I hope they’re satisfied that their prayers are answered by my family’s suffering.
My chair or the bed moves slightly and suddenly I think I’m having an episode. Sometimes it really does trigger something where I’m spinning it floating away, other times I can stand up and walk around and calm it down. Just need to complain to somebody who hopefully gets it.
Pleasantly surprised with gluten free French toast. Wasn’t fluffy like traditional bread of course but it held its texture for an hour in my tray. Lunch was also fine, seasoned baked chicken with potatoes and a vegetable.
Things that annoy me but I also appreciate. They won’t give me bacon for breakfast because it’s noted as cross contamination, love that but eating sausage every day while I’m here will get old. They also only have like 3 choices for lunch and dinner- gf turkey sandwich, salad, baked chicken. Plenty of fruit and juice but only 3 vegetables and potatoes, everything else is risk for cross contaminated. I can’t really complain because thanks for being vigilantcfor my safety but to not be able to cook anything other than 3 vegetables without cross contamination is interesting.
I did bring a lot of safe snacks from home but at one point yesterday I wanted FOOD not just snacks so I need to get creative for shelf stable. I have jerky and cereal and milk. I have some tuna packs, PB/sun butter and pretzels. Just not the same as something with substance.
It's a boy, we don't want anything obscure, no tragedeighs, can lean Spanish or English since we will be raising him bilingual. I felt strongly about naming him after my family (Charles/Charlie/Carlos, William/Liam [no Will or Bill, already used in my cousins, no Guillermo], Evan/Ivan) and my husband is amenable to Carlos or Charlie but when I try referring to him at that, it doesn't seem... right? Like I'm cringing saying Charlie out loud and Carlos doesn't seem to carry the weight I want it to.
Am I thinking too hard? My husband's other suggestions (none of which seem good to me) include Maximus/Maximilian/Max, August/Augusto, Alexander/Alejandro (both of our names are versions of Alex so I really don't want to use that one), and Lincoln... I'm kind of liking Emilio/Leo/Milo, Mateo, Rowan, all of which my husband vetoed... nothing else I'm reading really stands out, and even practicing calling him any of those, still doesn't feel right. He's going to be born early so I'm not sure he's going to look like enough to just know. Husband said we can each just pick one name, but regardless of first or middle he's going to call him by the name he chose and ignore mine so I'm not really on board with that plan. I'd like to find something we can agree on. I beg of you to help, give me something I haven't seen online in the thousands of names I've read.
I find myself repeatedly reaching for carbs for breakfast, and I know it’s not a great way to start the day especially with adhd but all I want is a muffin or something. I try to prep eggs, sausage, oats, whatever and I will literally let it rot in the fridge and just eat a cheese stick and a piece of chocolate or handfuls of cereal. I need muffin recipes or something that are gluten free and high protein but not disgusting… doesn’t help that I don’t do well with protein powders and shakes, they tend to destroy my stomach no matter what I’ve tried (and I’ve tried a lot). Also can’t be sugar free because I’m allergic to aspartame and stevia… I have “veggies made great” in my freezer but let’s be real, when I could grab a Trader Joe’s gf muffin or one of those, what wins?
We have tried probably 6 different local dedicated gf bakeries. Theres 2 of them that I do well with, the other 4 consistently give me diarrhea. Feel good foods brand always gives me diarrhea. Certain restaurants gf options give me diarrhea, while others are fine. I can have the gums and the husks and whatnot in certain things, so I don’t think that’s it unless maybe it’s the quantity? But the last 2 restaurants that gave me issues it was gf pasta so minimal additives if any. I don’t seem to have issues from what I cook but I don’t cook well. Actually that’s not true, I made bean and ham soup that destroyed my stomach. But this is all very different than when I eat gluten, 2 distinct issues and it’s happening from dedicated gf places and brands. And it’s not dairy, although I have some issues with straight milk I can eat my weight in cheese and have no problems. I don’t think it’s fiber, I eat high fiber day to day without issues. Maybe fat? But not everything fatty gives me issues.
My boy is planned to come out at 34 weeks (currently 30 weeks now with vasa previa) unless there's an emergency before then, nothing compared to a lot of you and I don't want to take away from that at all. I work in a PICU/NICU step down situation so I already have some idea but I feel like being a patient and parent will be totally different, especially as a first time parent.
I packed a bag for him with preemie swaddles, preemie 2-way zip onesies, some preemie snap onesies, preemie hats/socks/mitts, and a couple blankets (I know safe sleep but idk I tossed them in there just in case). Should I pack anything else for him? I'm going to label it all with his name whenever we pick a name...
Is there anything we should know or do? Now, or while he's there?
I assume nobody will be allowed to see him for a minute after he's born right? My mom can't make it to my surgery so we're trying to decide if we need somebody else at the hospital to be with me in recovery and with him in the NICU. I know the nurses are great in theory, but I don't want to be alone, and I want to know what's going on with him too.
I asked my husband if he wanted to tour the NICU beforehand but he said not really. We do want to meet the neonatologist while I'm inpatient before my c section. They told us to expect 48 hours minimum, probably a week or so because at 30 weeks he's "only" 2 pounds so they expect him to be small for his age even though he doesn't have IUGR that they've identified.
Do we have any recourse or are we fucked? The fridge is rusted, leaking, and has black mold in it so it’s been leaking, the toilet just started spewing water and flooded my first floor, the HVAC isn’t working well, the shower floor has cracks in it, and the yard keeps getting wet even though it’s not raining. I’m about to call a plumber have no fear but oh my god you mean the inspector found “nothing but some loose bricks”???
Edit- first time home owner/buyer so yeah I’m clueless and I’m in a very high risk pregnancy so no I didn’t participate in anything my husband handled it all while also working overtime to make up for my lost hours, and the seller pushed up the closing date by 2 weeks so we were rushed, I did a quick walk through but wasn’t looking for mold under the fridge, yes we had to move in the middle of this pregnancy because our lease was up and we weren’t able to renew, no the inspector said we couldn’t walk through with him, my husband arrived to do a final “walk through” and the guy had left “had another appointment couldn’t wait,” the inspector was recommended by our realtor.
I’m great at a lot of things but I know nothing about anything that’s going on, we were rushed and no I wasn’t part of the process other than a quick walk through to see if it had enough space. I’ve been restricted since February to make sure myself and my baby don’t die.
Drove an hour to get 2 loaves of fresh gf sourdough since I’m about to give birth and I want to freeze them for after when I won’t be able to make the drive. What’s the best way to preserve the integrity?
I guess this is normal? Our thermostat is set to 70, and downstairs is cool and comfortable but halfway up the stairs you can feel the air become stuffy and warm. Our bedroom and office are uncomfortably warm, my dogs are panting more than I’ve seen them pant so I know it’s not just me. We have a fan in every room, 2 in the bedroom, and sleep with windows open when it’s less than 70 outside but we live in the south so that’s about to be done here for several months. The sun doesn’t directly hit the windows for these rooms, maybe in the evening for a couple hours but not the rest of the day, I can put some curtains up anyway if that’ll help but we have good blinds. It’s a townhouse so we can’t have a window unit… I’m seriously considering a portable that drains into our shower, if there’s nothing else we can do? Do I need to get the HVAC looked at? We’ve been here 10 days and I’ve only ever rented before…
Barrett’s baked goods in Buford ga. I didn’t ask about their handling, they offer half gluten free and half regular but man everything gluten free is delicious. Even my husband liked it.
My therapist immediately said what I’d been thinking: “you may need to change your job.” I told my husband I may have to switch units or specialties altogether, depending on how traumatic birth and nicu are.
TLDR I’ve got vasa previa and an accessory lobe to my placenta so they have to keep me inpatient for several weeks before they do a c section at 34 weeks which I was told (of course) is an automatic NICU admit, and while I don’t know much about l&d, my MFM doc is acting very concerned so I’m taking her seriously. I can picture both ends and what’s in between- everything going smoothly as planned, no complications and he stays 2 days, we go home and he’s great. I also see the other end where he ends up on my unit with a trach or RAM and an NG, where they have to do a stat c section because my water broke and we’re all bleeding out… I feel like I might not be able to go back to work into the NICU/PICU if that, or something else, happens.
I’m absolutely not here for advice on my condition or my son, we’re covered and comfortable with our team. I’m more worried about, did you have PTSD from a medical event and were you able to go back to work?
We moved and my favorite bakery with actually good bread and pastries is 55 miles. One hour. One way. So a 2 hour 100 mile trip. And i can do that in a day but man that feels unreasonable to drive 100 miles for a loaf of bread and some pastry… I found a local place but they don’t do bread, just desserts. They’re good, but sometimes I want good bread. I can always get a second loaf and freeze it, they actually sell their loaves fresh or frozen… I wish we could make a day out of it but there’s not much to be done in the area. Sometimes I stop at an indie bookstore. Sometimes we stop at a gaming store. I’m about to have a newborn so hours in the car suddenly feels much less feasible anyway.
I have had a Costco membership for years and love the gluten free options they always have. But we moved and the closest is half an hour away, which means I’m very unlikely to go. I was going once a week or more because it was right by my house but a 30 min trip one way with a newborn is not happening. There’s a Sam’s up the street from us though, is there anything there worth pursuing? I feel like I only see Costco talked about, especially for gluten free finds.
* I know Sam’s carries feel good foods but that brand tears me up so anything other than that. I really like Costco for the rotisserie chicken, produce, brazi bites, etc.