u/Abject_West_4883

I (19f) met this guy (20m) and we instantly hit it off we’ve been together now for 3 months only but things have been amazing till now (honeymoon phase most probably but it’s still the best). My best friend from school (let’s call her L) and I are now long distance friends because I moved away from college. I made a very good friend in called let’s call her S and my boyfriend V.
S and V got into this fun banter of who knows me better and they both were genuinely joking and just having fun. Later that day I posted something on insta and S and V continued that banter in the comments. L saw and joined in backing up S. So V replied to her in the same way he was replying to S. The next day L facteimed me in the evening to show a new outfit. I was with V so i moved a little away because of the FaceTime and just as we were hanging up i walked back to V and he said hi then they started that banter again (she instigated). V was extremely respectful but L made a very uncalled for remark about his cultural identity and V was going to retaliate but I just swooped in told him no and he stopped immediately. I cut the call and messaged L that what she said was wrong and not to do that. She did not reply to that message.
Little flashback in school I had a boyfriend for almost 2 years and she said something very disrespectful to him as well once and when I called her out immediately she got super angry and yelled at me for putting a boy over our friendship and how I humiliated her by calling her out in front of my boyfriend.
So this time I was carefull to cut the call and message her privately without telling my boyfriend. She ignored all my messages for 2 days after that and then called me to again yell at me. She said it was not her fault because if someone is going to make jokes about her she will also make jokes about them (V did not make any personal remarks about her, let alone about her cultural identity). She then referenced the Instagram comments as proof that V is attention seeking because she replied to S’s comment and V had no reason to reply to her comment (she did not tag V in her comment but she mentioned his name!!) She yelled at me and said I’ve been with him for only 3 months and we’ve been friends for almost 14 years now i am humiliating her and putting a guy over her.
The thing that really stuck out to me was that L said her own parents don’t say anything back to her who is V to talk to her like that. So does she think she can say whatever she wants to people but they don’t have a right to say anything back??? When I pointed this out she said if you’re going to be like this and always put guys over me then tell me right now so I know what your priorities are and then I will also treat you accordingly.
After this conversation she just started talking to me like usual as if nothing happened. I told V to not interact with her without giving any reason he asked why once but didn’t press after that.
Am I the a hole for asking her to not make nasty remarks about my boyfriend? Am I really putting guys over my friends because S and other friends from my college have not said anything like this to me
Context because I think I should add this - I’ve been calling and texting L as frequently still as I was before meeting V and i am with V at the time that I previously used to spend alone at my hostel room (the time after my classes end at 6 till dinner around 8:30) so I haw been very cautious to not prioritise him over others as it is very new relatively. In my school relationship am my boyfriend was very manipulative and isolated me from all my friends so I do admit my fault in tha situation but i apologised profusely after I realised what was happening and more than compensated for it.

I (19f) met this guy (20m) and we instantly hit it off we’ve been together now for 3 months only but things have been amazing till now (honeymoon phase most probably but it’s still the best). My best friend from school (let’s call her L) and I are now long distance friends because I moved away from college. I made a very good friend in called let’s call her S and my boyfriend V.
S and V got into this fun banter of who knows me better and they both were genuinely joking and just having fun. Later that day I posted something on insta and S and V continued that banter in the comments. L saw and joined in backing up S. So V replied to her in the same way he was replying to S. The next day L facteimed me in the evening to show a new outfit. I was with V so i moved a little away because of the FaceTime and just as we were hanging up i walked back to V and he said hi then they started that banter again (she instigated). V was extremely respectful but L made a very uncalled for remark about his cultural identity and V was going to retaliate but I just swooped in told him no and he stopped immediately. I cut the call and messaged L that what she said was wrong and not to do that. She did not reply to that message.
Little flashback in school I had a boyfriend for almost 2 years and she said something very disrespectful to him as well once and when I called her out immediately she got super angry and yelled at me for putting a boy over our friendship and how I humiliated her by calling her out in front of my boyfriend.
So this time I was carefull to cut the call and message her privately without telling my boyfriend. She ignored all my messages for 2 days after that and then called me to again yell at me. She said it was not her fault because if someone is going to make jokes about her she will also make jokes about them (V did not make any personal remarks about her, let alone about her cultural identity). She then referenced the Instagram comments as proof that V is attention seeking because she replied to S’s comment and V had no reason to reply to her comment (she did not tag V in her comment but she mentioned his name!!) She yelled at me and said I’ve been with him for only 3 months and we’ve been friends for almost 14 years now i am humiliating her and putting a guy over her.
The thing that really stuck out to me was that L said her own parents don’t say anything back to her who is V to talk to her like that. So does she think she can say whatever she wants to people but they don’t have a right to say anything back??? When I pointed this out she said if you’re going to be like this and always put guys over me then tell me right now so I know what your priorities are and then I will also treat you accordingly.
After this conversation she just started talking to me like usual as if nothing happened. I told V to not interact with her without giving any reason he asked why once but didn’t press after that.
Am I the a hole for asking her to not make nasty remarks about my boyfriend? Am I really putting guys over my friends because S and other friends from my college have not said anything like this to me
Edit because I think I should add this - I’ve been calling and texting L as frequently still as I was before meeting V and i am with V at the time that I previously used to spend alone at my hostel room (the time after my classes end at 6 till dinner around 8:30) so I haw been very cautious to not prioritise him over others as it is very new relatively. In my school relationship am my boyfriend was very manipulative and isolated me from all my friends so I do admit my fault in tha situation but i apologised profusely after I realised what was happening and more than compensated for it.

I (19f) met this guy (20m) and we instantly hit it off we’ve been together now for 3 months only but things have been amazing till now (honeymoon phase most probably but it’s still the best). My best friend from school (let’s call her L) and I are now long distance friends because I moved away from college. I made a very good friend in called let’s call her S and my boyfriend V.
S and V got into this fun banter of who knows me better and they both were genuinely joking and just having fun. Later that day I posted something on insta and S and V continued that banter in the comments. L saw and joined in backing up S. So V replied to her in the same way he was replying to S. The next day L facteimed me in the evening to show a new outfit. I was with V so i moved a little away because of the FaceTime and just as we were hanging up i walked back to V and he said hi then they started that banter again (she instigated). V was extremely respectful but L made a very uncalled for remark about his cultural identity and V was going to retaliate but I just swooped in told him no and he stopped immediately. I cut the call and messaged L that what she said was wrong and not to do that. She did not reply to that message.
Little flashback in school I had a boyfriend for almost 2 years and she said something very disrespectful to him as well once and when I called her out immediately she got super angry and yelled at me for putting a boy over our friendship and how I humiliated her by calling her out in front of my boyfriend.
So this time I was carefull to cut the call and message her privately without telling my boyfriend. She ignored all my messages for 2 days after that and then called me to again yell at me. She said it was not her fault because if someone is going to make jokes about her she will also make jokes about them (V did not make any personal remarks about her, let alone about her cultural identity). She then referenced the Instagram comments as proof that V is attention seeking because she replied to S’s comment and V had no reason to reply to her comment (she did not tag V in her comment but she mentioned his name!!) She yelled at me and said I’ve been with him for only 3 months and we’ve been friends for almost 14 years now i am humiliating her and putting a guy over her.
The thing that really stuck out to me was that L said her own parents don’t say anything back to her who is V to talk to her like that. So does she think she can say whatever she wants to people but they don’t have a right to say anything back??? When I pointed this out she said if you’re going to be like this and always put guys over me then tell me right now so I know what your priorities are and then I will also treat you accordingly.
After this conversation she just started talking to me like usual as if nothing happened. I told V to not interact with her without giving any reason he asked why once but didn’t press after that.
Am I the a hole for asking her to not make nasty remarks about my boyfriend? Am I really putting guys over my friends because S and other friends from my college have not said anything like this to me
Edit because I think I should add this - I’ve been calling and texting L as frequently still as I was before meeting V and i am with V at the time that I previously used to spend alone at my hostel room (the time after my classes end at 6 till dinner around 8:30) so I haw been very cautious to not prioritise him over others as it is very new relatively. In my school relationship am my boyfriend was very manipulative and isolated me from all my friends so I do admit my fault in tha situation but i apologised profusely after I realised what was happening and more than compensated for it.

I (19f) met this guy (20m) and we instantly hit it off we’ve been together now for 3 months only but things have been amazing till now (honeymoon phase most probably but it’s still the best). My best friend from school (let’s call her L) and I are now long distance friends because I moved away from college. I made a very good friend in called let’s call her S and my boyfriend V.
S and V got into this fun banter of who knows me better and they both were genuinely joking and just having fun. Later that day I posted something on insta and S and V continued that banter in the comments. L saw and joined in backing up S. So V replied to her in the same way he was replying to S. The next day L facteimed me in the evening to show a new outfit. I was with V so i moved a little away because of the FaceTime and just as we were hanging up i walked back to V and he said hi then they started that banter again (she instigated). V was extremely respectful but L made a very uncalled for remark about his cultural identity and V was going to retaliate but I just swooped in told him no and he stopped immediately. I cut the call and messaged L that what she said was wrong and not to do that. She did not reply to that message.
Little flashback in school I had a boyfriend for almost 2 years and she said something very disrespectful to him as well once and when I called her out immediately she got super angry and yelled at me for putting a boy over our friendship and how I humiliated her by calling her out in front of my boyfriend.
So this time I was carefull to cut the call and message her privately without telling my boyfriend. She ignored all my messages for 2 days after that and then called me to again yell at me. She said it was not her fault because if someone is going to make jokes about her she will also make jokes about them (V did not make any personal remarks about her, let alone about her cultural identity). She then referenced the Instagram comments as proof that V is attention seeking because she replied to S’s comment and V had no reason to reply to her comment (she did not tag V in her comment but she mentioned his name!!) She yelled at me and said I’ve been with him for only 3 months and we’ve been friends for almost 14 years now i am humiliating her and putting a guy over her.
The thing that really stuck out to me was that L said her own parents don’t say anything back to her who is V to talk to her like that. So does she think she can say whatever she wants to people but they don’t have a right to say anything back??? When I pointed this out she said if you’re going to be like this and always put guys over me then tell me right now so I know what your priorities are and then I will also treat you accordingly.
After this conversation she just started talking to me like usual as if nothing happened. I told V to not interact with her without giving any reason he asked why once but didn’t press after that.
Am I the a hole for asking her to not make nasty remarks about my boyfriend? Am I really putting guys over my friends because S and other friends from my college have not said anything like this to me
Edit because I think I should add this - I’ve been calling and texting L as frequently still as I was before meeting V and i am with V at the time that I previously used to spend alone at my hostel room (the time after my classes end at 6 till dinner around 8:30) so I haw been very cautious to not prioritise him over others as it is very new relatively. In my school relationship am my boyfriend was very manipulative and isolated me from all my friends so I do admit my fault in tha situation but i apologised profusely after I realised what was happening and more than compensated for it.