Could you be considered ‘too unstable’ to be in dbt treatment?
So I f22, have been in treatment (ip) since November. I’m in a dbt program and they’re pretty strict here. If you act on urges to be self destructive too much, you’re out. If they think you’re not trying hard enough, you’re out. If you miss 3 therapy sessions, you’re out. If you try to attempt, you’re out. No exceptions. This program is 8-9 months long including 2 months of outpatient therapy so I’m almost out of residential to start my 2 months outpatient care.
Today I had a conversation with my dbt coach and when she saw my diary card (some document with destructive behaviours you need to score daily how high the urges were) she told me that my urges/suicidality are too high considering I’m this far into treatment. She told me that she’s very concerned and that she’s not sure this is the right thing for me right now. She did assure me that she notices how hard I’m trying but that my level of distress is pretty alarming.
To be completely honest, the fact that I’ve been trying so hard, doing everything I can to get better and not be a prisoner of my own mind anymore is in fact not enough, is making me even more suicidal. Because what am I even doing it for then? Are they going to send me away? What am I going to do?? I ghosted my therapist and psychiatrist, and I lowkey don’t feel safe enough to not be in treatment anymore. What do I do I’m scared.