u/AccomplishedRush4892

Hi. Uh I'm a 32 year old freeze/fawn reactor and I'm trying to get into the circle of control stuff.

I'm trying to summon the courage to ask my therapist to switch from fixing the issues to just validate my emotions and thoughts. I'm very insecure but I've got good insight and intelligence.

I'm Hella scared that she'll think I'm lazy or something even though I know I'm in severe burnout and laziness doesn't exist if you feel guilty about it. Anyways, I'd like some cheering on, if that would be okay. If you have any anecdotes on seeking comfort instead of repair I'd like to read it.

So I, 32 Australian, am finding that I feel guilty about not being over the things that haven't happened to me in well over a decade or more.

I feel silly about it. Embarrassed even.

But I want to unpack it with my therapist so I can avoid passing it down to my now 4 year old daughter.

Here's the catch though, I have every kind of trauma and have experienced almost every kind of abuse. How do I tell my therapist. I'm still trying to free myself from the chronic fawn and freeze response on the daily.

Is it okay if I email her? Or do I HAVE to tell her during the session. I do phone appointments because outside makes me anxious and I've got mobility issues.

If I do tell her, do I have to start working on it right away? I've been told I'm in severe burnout and I'm so very tired just all the time.

Is this too much? Sorry.

I'm 32 and I am 10 months into t, 5 years out socially. I want to know more about transitioning in general. Like the medical side and the tips and tricks to passing a little better. I have no idea about most things.

Do you have any recommendations for videos or e-books to help me increase my knowledge?

I love my child. I would do anything for her.

Me (32, single parent living with ASD lv2, ADHD, c-PTSD, the hypermobility triad) and my daughter (4, informal ASD, ADHD , separation anxiety, social anxiety) are still adjusting to living with just her and me.

I'm only just learning about things like the window of tolerance and understanding what my own limits even feel like, my interception has been very blunted and I'm trying to teach her and me at the same time and I'm so exhausted.

I feel like I can't get 40 seconds to myself without her interrupting me or trying to climb on me. I try talking to my mum about it but all I get is that "you can do it supermum" bullsh*t. I've tried public disability support but the gov keeps cutting funding and I can't get a paid plan with the NDIS. I've finally found a paediatrician who will diagnose her but it's $800 up front to get an appointment then I need the OT, speechie, and psych. I'm on DSP and her father isn't paying anything while taking me to court for total parenteral rights?

She only eats like 15 foods that aren't lollies or ice cream, and most of them are fruit. I have to help her with eating, toileting, getting dressed, she can't play independently, she needs my full attention all the time. She's constantly making noise or running around or climbing on things. I can't get her to sit at the table for meals. And that's when she's not overwhelmed. She gets violent with me, screams just noise, runs away from the house, throws things, empties cupboards and drawers, hits walls, sort of flails around on the floor.

She wakes me up at like 7am then I just can't do anything else around the house until after she's asleep. I start bedtime routine at 6 with an hour of no screens, then a wash, PJs, brush hair, then she gets her 25micrograms of catapress and her antihistamines, brush teeth, toilet check, stories, huggles , sleep music and I have to stay with her until she falls asleep and then it's usually 9-9:30 at night and I rush around the house do a load of dishes and try and tidy up as much as I can, then I'm supposed to start winding down at 10pm and give myself my sleep medication and crochet until I'm tired but I am so stripped of time for myself that when I finally get her to sleep i'm so exhausted that I just end up doom scrolling until my alarm then put the dishes on and don't end up asleep until 1 because I'm just not ready for the next day yet.

My psych says that I need to find time to meditate and she's so obviously not getting it. I have no idea how to tell her that I can't get the space to have 5 minutes to think about what my body is feeling during the day and at night I'm too tired and stressed out.

We build on each other's dysregulation and most nights end in her screaming at me because I need her to brush her teeth but she doesn't want to use toothpaste, and she doesn't want to wipe herself after the toilet or wash her hands and she can't get dressed. I don't know what else I can do.

My mum can't cope with her for more than 30 minutes and works nights. She goes to preschool twice a week but it tires her out and she unloads on me when she gets home. I don't have any friends, her father thinks that because she cries and gets so upset that I must be abusive but didn't actually help until I literally couldn't do it anymore.

I've been learning about "good enough" parenting and I'm getting better at regulating myself in the moment and I don't yell at her that much any more. I've been able to recognise when my logic switches off and I can mostly step back, do some breathing exercises and hold an ice cube, and talk to her calmly.

I guess I just need validation that I'm not the worst parent ever and I need to know if it ever gets easier? So far parenting has gotten harder the older she gets.

So I (transmasc 33) have had to move back to Tamworth region unexpectedly and I haven't been here since like 2011. Does anyone else live here? I'm feeling pretty alone/ostracised.