u/Accurate-Rough-7706

okay so I posted a few days ago and a lot of you encouraged me to reach out so I did.

the conversation happened, it was short, it was calm, and I finally got some answers. I'm not going to go into the details of what he said because honestly that part feels done now and I don't want to keep living in it.

what I'm actually thinking about now is me. like what comes next for me specifically.

because I realized through all of this that I had completely stopped trusting myself somewhere along the way. the way I second guess my feelings, the way I convince myself I'm overthinking when something feels off, the way I shrink to avoid making things awkward.

I'm 21 and I feel like I'm still figuring out a version of myself that actually shows up confidently in relationships without disappearing into them.

for people who have been through a period where they felt like that, what actually shifted things for you? what helped you come back to yourself?

Found a little Ethiopian restaurant I'd never noticed before and it ruined every other cuisine for me for at least a week.

The tibs were perfect. The injera was sour the way it should be. And the tej? Don't even get me started.

Being habesha and eating Ethiopian food made by someone who grew up with the same recipes as your grandma is a whole different experience.

Any Ethiopian spots you'd fight for?

So I need to get this out because it's been living in my head rent free for weeks now.

I met this guy like two months ago. 24M, seemed mature, had his life together, was genuinely funny and easy to talk to. From the start he was the one initiating everything. Texting first, making plans, checking in on me randomly during the day. I remember thinking okay this one is different, this one actually knows what he wants.

For about six weeks it felt real. We'd spend entire evenings just talking about everything, our families, our goals, things we were scared of. The kind of conversations where you forget what time it is. I started to actually let my guard down which for me takes a lot.

And then something shifted. I still don't know what triggered it. He didn't disappear overnight, it was more like he slowly turned the volume down on everything until one day I realized I was the only one still talking.

I never got an explanation. No argument, no moment I could point to and say that's where it went wrong. Just a slow fade that somehow hurts more than a clean break would have.

The thing I keep asking myself is whether I missed signs that were obvious or whether some people genuinely just lose interest and move on without feeling like they owe you a single word about it.

I'm not angry at him. I'm more confused about myself. Like how do you trust your own read on a situation when you can be that wrong about someone?

Has anyone been through something like this and actually figured out what went wrong or do we just never get to know?

guys i wanna change my reddit username it’s so ugly 😭