u/Accurate_Ostrich_240

I have to put this somewhere. I’ve heard so many people complaining about this “rash” of unwashed butt cracks out in public. Everyone across age groups is sharing frustration with this stuff, from people saying mama needs to teach them better, to girlfriends being upset at hygiene habits, to people (men mostly) objecting that they don’t stink at all.

I don’t work. I’m active, but I’m usually at stores, my doctor, or the library. Tonight I went to my daughter’s college graduation, which was held in a former sports arena. Y’all, until today I thought there was no way this phenomenon was possible. I’m over in my woman bubble thinking there’s no way this is so common, that people are overreacting etc. I sat behind the worst smelling COUPLE I have ever experienced out in public. The dude smelled like ass every time he shifted, and his wife was wearing an old fashioned perfume that smelled heavily of iris and was extremely powdery. Together the two gave me a migraine, and after an hour of sitting there I had to get up, walk around, and massage my 11’s because my brow had furrowed from the stench AND GOT STUCK!

We finally left the building and started heading towards the parking lot with everyone else and I caught that scent on at least 4 other men on the way.

I apologize for being a disbeliever. As a PSA, if you think you stink you probably do. Just take a shower, especially if you’re going out in public. I’m not going to get graphic about butt crack hygiene. I’m just gonna say Google is your friend if you’re unsure. 🫤

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I’ve been having a heck of a time lately. I’ve recently lost some weight and in getting healthier one of the things I’ve been noticing lately is increased texture in my T zone. It rubs away when I apply light pressure, and at first I thought maybe it was dead skin. I took a closer look today and realized that it’s coming out of my pores. I’ve tried clay masks and chemical exfoliation, but they aren’t helping.

My daughter recently gifted me her old facial steamer and pore vacuum. I used the pore vacuum today and it seemed to do the trick, albeit temporarily.

Can anyone give any recommendations how to handle this? I’m in my late 50’s and would like to fix it, but not sure what is good or bad. Someone had suggested maybe I’m over exfoliating, but it’s actually almost as bad if I do nothing. Obviously I don’t want to damage my skin, but I don’t know what I’m doing at this point. I’m not sure if vacuuming is harmful or how often I should. Any advice is appreciated.

Over the last month I’ve been active here posting and commenting on various threads. What I’m finding in general that Reddit as a whole is not female friendly, especially not female over 30 friendly, and that no one can handle the opinion of someone in my age bracket, especially someone with nuanced opinions.

It seems to be either agree or disagree as a pattern of acceptable content, and the obligatory comic relief. There a lot of people attacking each other and not a lot of people making an effort to understand if they’re confused. I know a lot of buzzwords, but tend to put things out there in plainer terms, but people have trouble understanding unless I’m speaking in stereotypes. It’s really maddening. I’m finding it very hard to keep things real and on point at times, and I’ve blown up at several people while trying to communicate.

Add to the mix I am ND, with high functioning autism among other things, so it might be a little more difficult for me, but honestly I feel it’s more of an intolerance of people who want to be real about things.

So. I’m debating how much I value this app in my life, but I do enjoy talking to people. What is the undercurrent here? Are there unspoken rules I should be aware of? Are there safer discussion spaces that are all inclusive, and friendly towards different points of view?

With all I’ve been through the last few days I feel like I’m visiting the Bro ward at dark web anonymous.

ETA: you all have given me a number of good takes here that are helping me figure some things out and it’s much appreciated. I think the biggest issue for me here is not taking personal attacks personally. I’m also thinking I’m going to steer away from certain “topics” or environments. I’m really having trouble with some of the hostility though, so idk.

I’m 57f and consider myself decent looking. I keep up with my appearance, and tend to look younger than my age. I’m a plus size girl, but have a figure and never had that be much of an issue on dating sites. People either like me or they don’t and I’ve had some success online, but nothing that brought anything long term.

What I’m finding as I get older is that while I do have nibbles here and there, most men aren’t anything more than chatty. No deeper interest than superficials, and if we do get further it usually fizzles out quick. I can accept this might be me, maybe my appearance or viewpoints, but I’m kind of wondering if men my age are just not that upset at the prospect of being alone? I find myself talking to people sometimes and thinking “this is too much work” or similar thoughts. Maybe we’re just not sure what we’re doing anymore? Are people just not into it at this age? Have we gotten too comfortable being alone? I’d like to think I’m being realistic in my expectations. What does interest look like at this age?

Maybe I’m just horribly inept.

ETA: To clear a few things up… I’m not looking for an underwear model. I keep my pool to men in my age bracket and older. I appreciate that some men like to date younger. I would also like to add that women are no more spent than men are at the same age, unless you want kids-then ew, not interested at all.

Also I’m not losing weight. Thank you.

2ND ETA: y’all I said a lot of stuff in my initial post for so many of you to come back with YOU’RE FAT.

I show photos. It’s the way in which I’m being responded to that is different. A lot of men that state it’s no issue it truly isn’t, but the change in drive and intensity is what I was referring to. If you are turned off by fat women your opinion is more than well represented. I was really referring to men more my age and maturity level with experience dating at this point in their lives. Don’t be an appendage if you can’t answer along those lines.

EDIT: cross post from another page. Insurance approval has been a mess and I’m in the dark as to what to do

Not really sexual health as much as female, but you get it… I’m 57 and just prescribed HRT for the second time. I was given Premarin first, but I still have my uterus, so I went to my new PCP, who specializes in HRT, to get treatment.

It took me a month to get the appointment, then 3 weeks between labs and follow-up. Which brings us to the beginning of the month, where I’m actually prescribed something. My insurance wants pre authorization. I had to call the doctor’s office to tell them. They dragged their feet until Monday, when I started calling everybody and their mom about where the F\*ing H\*ll my hormones were!

The doctor’s office has been patient with me since I’ve been on their backs, and I’m only calling once a day. The insurance company transfers my calls all around the country before I get someone who is in the right department, and always responds- “we haven’t heard back”. No! You have! Just where in that whole process are you?!? Seriously the slowest most dumb-ass situation i’ve ever walked into! At the end of the call they’re like “you can consult your app for updates”. No, I can’t. They don’t update a damn thing. Apparently the big focus is the $50 they give me each month because I have chronic brokenness for some other thing. That’s ALL I ever hear when I call out of everyone!

Is there such a thing as HRT approval running smoothly? I was suffering when I went for the appointment, and even told my PCP that when she prescribed the medication. I’ve had to SIT on this since it started! I’m still suffering 2 weeks later and no meds. Does anyone use HERS or another online company for HRT? Are there insurance companies that are actually sympathetic to people needing medication to function? I’ve never had issues like this before with anything, and I’ve had specialty medicines approved in less time with less aggravation.

I’m not usually very touchy, but today I read a post by a young woman flirtatiously asking men (only) in an open forum whether they preferred small natural breasts to large artificial ones, but then went on to express a few negative opinions about large breasts in general. The tone felt a little skeevy on her end, but when I went to the comments there were a good number of guys that kinda ran with the skeeve. I’m assuming it was to mirror the flirt and make her feel at ease, but then they began putting down women with procedures in general, along with opinions about what these women must be thinking- AAAAAND IT UPSET ME A GREAT DEAL!

So- f* that…. And I proceeded to call out women that did this sort of thing in general on a separate post in the same sub, at the same time stating that those type of comments shouldn’t be encouraged by creating an environment for them. Then I got attacked.

Most days I honestly do not care what people say or think if it’s stupid or I don’t agree. I’ve actually been dealing with issues generated by a bully having to do with body comparisons, and a lot of the issues this person has have to do with their own poor self image and worth and because I was close to them they’ve been taking it out on me. I think that whole thing hit a very raw nerve for me, and all I could think to do was firmly point out how off that whole conversation was looking. It was an “ask men” sub, and she blocked other women from commenting, so it seemed as if she went there to ask for validation by bashing other women, although probably not doing it consciously.

I feel bad because I was so angry and I probably crossed some lines to express what my problem was with what was happening there. I’m not sorry, but I do feel really stupid right now. And I absolutely do feel like unhealthy territory needs to be addressed. I’m not sure I like the way I did it though.

Sharing with y’all because I hope we’re past the part of life where we’re so obsessed with what men think that we’re hurting each other to make a positive impression…. That and I’m hoping we have a better scope of triggers mid life.