How do you move on from a narcissistic mother when you love her so much, but she doesn’t seem to love you the same way? How do you stop feeling hurt when your brother is the golden child and she always puts him and his family first? Has anyone been through this, and what helped you heal?
I really need some outside perspective because I feel emotionally exhausted and don’t know what to do anymore.
For the past two years, I have been struggling with a painful change in my relationship with, my mom. Ever since 2024, when my mom traveled to India with my brother wife (Sister-in-law) and stayed with my sister-in-law’s family for an few weeks, I felt like she came back as a completely different person. Her behavior toward me and my children changed significantly, and since then, many members of my parents’ side of the family have stopped talking to me and my kids. Even the cousins who used to be close no longer communicate.
What makes this so difficult is that I don’t fully understand what happened. I have tried many times to have honest conversations with my mom and express how hurt and confused I feel, but I often leave those conversations feeling unheard and misunderstood. No one has clearly explained why things changed.
I love my parents deeply and miss them every day. For the last two years, I have cried more times than I can count because I desperately wanted to repair our relationship. I kept hoping that if I communicated better or explained my feelings differently, things would improve, but they haven’t.
One of the things that hurts the most is feeling that my children and I are treated differently than other family members. I also struggle with feeling less loved and wondering what I did wrong. Those thoughts have weighed heavily on me for a long time.
The stress has affected my sleep, my mental health, and my overall well-being. I have recently decided to start family therapy because I realize I need help processing all of this and finding a healthier way forward.
My brother has also changed a lot, and our relationship is not what it used to be. As painful as that is, I am trying to accept that I cannot force anyone to change. Right now, I am focusing on my own healing, my husband, and my children.
Has anyone experienced a situation where a parent suddenly became distant or where an entire side of the family seemed to pull away? How did you cope with the uncertainty and the grief? Do you think family therapy can help when only one person is willing to work on the relationship?
Any advice, insight, or perspective would be greatly appreciated.