I hate my small chest
actually hate it so much I'm flat like barely an a if I gain weight I just can't deal with it anymore it's so annoying like why can't I just be average. if I were a b or c i would have been happy. every single woman I know is bigger than me I feel so embarrassed I don't wear tight clothes anymore I can't change my clothes in front of anyone even my sister or mother.
It's just so much I hate my self because of that i mean it's so unfair why do I have to be not only the smallest but ridiculously small, like I can't even love myself who would even like me and it's not like I'm pretty or anything I feel super humiliated if I see my self in the mirror I'm never happy I always feel disappointed in myself and then in the end I would cry my heart out it's not like there is a solution or anything I just can't i feel like if someone saw me they would laugh at me if not they would thank God they aren't like me and I'm sure they do just by how they look at me
I mean what am I supposed to do I'm not pretty and I don't have anything to be proud of. my brother and sister are blond and have green eyes, but me well none I'm darker than them I have black eyes and dark features people will always remember them but not me I'm always like the loser who is clinging in people. i wish I never existed i wish I didn't have to deal with that.
Myself esteem is hitting the ground and I feel like I don't deserve to live anymore. If I were With family and want to try clothes they would say oh she need to wear push up bra to try it or else she won't look any good they don't mean to hurt me but still I'm hurt.
And worst I'm living with my sister she's like a full b or c and it's so annoying to look at her even after I try to accept it and be happy with myself I would see her wearing something and looking amazing and then I start my depression again like just know l barely managed to make myself believe that it's okay yesterday and here I am today
The thing is I like her she's super nice and always look after me but I can't help but feel jealous.
I don't know what to do anymore It's hard to breath and I feel like I'm dying from the inside these last months I'm barely happy and I can't smile anyone i feel like I'm loosing myself slowly and forever.
(‼️Don't tell me to go to a doctor or so that's not an option)