u/AdorableArtist1558

TW: I will talk about abusive relationships. If that triggers you, please don’t read, I don’t want anyone to get hurt from what I write.

OKAY… so I know this isn’t probably close to the true meaning of the song, but this is how it speaks to me.

If you’ve been in an abusive relationship, you probably understand the cycle of abuse. There is a point where maybe you were about to leave, but you end up going back. Sometimes, this is where your abuser either love bombs the heck out of you, or where you feel a sense of sick comfort and familiarity.

In the past, when I came back, I would feel this rush of happiness, reassurance, and familiarity. Like idk, the infinite, unchanging baths. It would feel so euphoric, like I’m supposed to be here and everything will be okay. I would notice everything and be so happy, the way my partner laughed, the way they looked at me, and it would suck me back like a sick addiction.

The lines that really connected me to this song and this particular meaning were:

But I’m finally here,
And I’m not leaving this time

Like you’re finally in the place you think you are in this relationship, like a good, happy place. You say, well make it work, I won’t give up on us again. As if it’s you keeping the relationship a thing.

All this glory you did not earn
Every lesson you did not learn
You will drown in an endless sea
If it's blood that you want from me
You can empty my arteries
Will you halt this eclipse in me?
Will you half this eclipse in me?
In me

You didn’t earn me coming back (talking to my ex), you never learned your lessons (talking to me AND my ex), I’m going to drown myself in this, it might be my demise.
IF ITS BLOOD THAT YOU WANT FROM ME, YOU CAN EMPTY MY ARTERIES… this one hit different. In my abusive relationship, I gave EVERYTHING I had. Everything, interpret that how you will. But even when I shouldn’t, each time I came back I gave more of me to him.
Will you halt this eclipse in me, will you feed this hole I have in myself? A place to fill up my dopamine, where I feel empty, where I crave to feel something, but most importantly where I want to be loved.

Idk… what do y’all think??? This song is so special to me, I’d love to hear your interpretations, and I just wanted to share my thoughts on how the song connects to me.

Okay so, I am in my early twenties and I really want to start a family. Not exactly sure why, just a want I’ve always had, especially as I’ve gotten older.

I really want to marry my boyfriend, and have a kid. I’m in college and have stated I want to graduate first, and start my career, so I’m not looking to start this journey tomorrow or anything. But man I really want to have a family!! I think about it often.

I’ve been advised to wait longer than I want though, so I can travel and live life to the fullest. I DO want to travel, it’s a dream of mine, but I also get told that I shouldn’t have a baby until my early thirties. Why do I have to wait so long? Should I wait that long?

I don’t know, maybe I’m not thinking this through. I think I’m making the idea of creating a family seem better in my head. I also worry that maybe it’ll be a disaster… my boyfriend and I don’t come from the most, for lack of a better term, “stable” backgrounds. What if we’re bad parents? And also, due to a condition I have yet to be diagnosed with, I may not even be able to HAVE kids.

Ahhh.. I don’t know, it’s my DREAM though. Any advice? Should I wait until my 30s? Of course I want to wait a bit and do it right, but damn that seems so damn far away. Any advice is needed.

I’m very scared right now. I’ve been seeing a doctor about some health issues I’ve had for a long time, almost 10 years, and no one checked up on it sooner. My dr thinks it could be PCOS but I won’t know until Monday. All I know is that I have large cysts all up in my ovaries, and I keep getting results on my bloodwork that I don’t understand. Of course me being a hypochondriac I try and look it up and freak myself out more. I start to worry about tumors which is a common cause of some of my levels being high. My grandpa just died of cancer and watching it was horrific. I’m young and am scared to die. I’m worried about what if it is PCOS did I cause it or make it worse? And if so, what do I do now? Will I be okay? It’s worse if it’s not PCOS though, because what could it be? Could I be dying? I haven’t had the best habits, what if I dug my own grave? I’m terrified, I’m so tired but I can’t sleep.

I’ve never had medical issues like this before, just the fear of them. I feel like my worst nightmare is coming true, I can’t function. I cry and space out and I can’t sleep or I sleep too much. I’m so tired.

What helps you guys? I’m trying to keep calm but I’m failing, my anxiety is going haywire and my panic attacks are getting bad. I still have 5 days left until I get either some answers and treatment or to do more testing. I don’t know how I’m going to function in that time.

Long story short, I have a bunch of large cysts in my reproductive organs. They thought it was PCOS, but it looks like it’s not going to be it. I didn’t realize the pain I was in wasn’t normal, and now I’m terrified that if it isn’t PCOS, then what is it? I’m scared I have tumor in my brain that mimics PCOS, but I refuse to diagnose myself with anything until I talk with doctors. On top of some medical stuff, I’m terrified. I wish for a song that makes me feel seen, I feel so overdramatic and overwhelmed, I’ve always been a healthy person but within the last two days I feel so unsafe in my own body. Any songs yall recommend?