I want my iPad screen on OBS, but I only have an hdmi chord and no capture card…is there a free method?

My father is probably the more easily irritated type. I recently spoke up (after multiple months of anxiety) about being tested for ADD and Dyscalculia while on vacation, since it’s not easily accessible at all in my country. I’m leaving on the 10th. He took it in well, said that the fact his ‘child was struggling and he can’t help’ was bugging him every day, and I sent him all the details. We went to the nearest clinic. It was closed. So we went again today and it was closed yet again. While looking for the door, my dad said that this was his ‘last straw’ and I just had to hold everything in because it took me a year and a half to speak up properly in the first place. We left and ordered an uber back to our apartment, but during the wait he starting rambling on once again about how ‘he was the same’ that he also ‘got sick and all shaken’ when it came to math yet he still pulled through school. When really I don’t think I’ll pass next schools years math at all, i barely did this year (only 2-4 points away from failing with international exam results coming soon in which I was only able to do half of with the two hour time).

Just completely dismissed me again.

I really tried not to cry in the car, it was hard since it’s something that’s been bothering me for so long and just when I thought I could find some clarity I was given up on, said it wouldn’t help me, told I’m pushing it, and that they just sit you down— talk, and take your money. I don’t understand the hypocrisy, saying it’s bothering you more than me than giving up the second day. What’s the harm in going somewhere else? I genuinely don’t know what to do the imposter syndrome is bad after that and I don’t think I could bother him anymore.

Should I give up?

Has anyone had an experience like this, and how did you pull through?

I have no idea where to start. Everything above the fourth and third grade is difficult for my head to process, and it sucks. I JUST WANT TO SAY IN NO WAY AM I WANTING TO SELF DIAGNOSE, ALSO THIS MIGHT BE LONG I REALLY HOPE SOMEONE READS IT T_T

ALSO VERY ROUGH GRAMMAR IM NOT FOCUSING THAT RN ITS SO LATE AT THE TIME IM WRITING THIS IN MY NOTES APP FOR LATER😭😭 ALSO THERES LEFT OUT MOMENTS THIS IS JUST MAIN STUFF AND I REPEAT MY WORDS ALOT

Info if it helps:
I’m 15 - just passed the 9th grade - she/her female -

Background:
I’ve been jumping around the tutoring and summer school programs for around seven years now, and only for one reason. Math. It was never English, infact I excel in English. I write literal books for fun, I draw, I paint, I do anything I can get my hands on. But for some reason when it comes to math my mind instantly goes blank. I can’t explain the feeling, but it just wipes me of any thought and I end up just staring. It took me a year to memorize the times table in elementary, and I began to notice ever so subtly one thing after third grade. I’m lacking. I only ever fully realized something was going on with me during the sixth grade, when i couldn’t understand mean median and mode while everyone around me did. The subject was mentioned once, and it seemed like everyone understood, soon after that I was placed in lower level maths. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it earlier, maybe because I was constantly being told I wasn’t working to my full potential, or to try harder, or the fact that I was just…less understanding than other kids. No matter how hard I tried.
I’ve learned that dyscalculia is often diagnosed in a pair, so I thought back. I thought back to when my third grade teacher had my family buy me a fidget toy to focus, or when I was brought to the special social worker or something, and asked questions. I still struggle with focusing till this day. I have much more I could say about the past though this is the most simplified version.

Present (leaving out lots of experiences but whatever gotta get the main point through:)
I learnt about dyscalculia a year ago, and I dug into it. I scrolled through every Reddit page, every Wikipedia article, every TikTok and comment. I found myself deeply relating to them. So I mentioned it to my father after three months of anxiety (since my dad isn’t a very comforting person to come out to). I won’t explain my exact emotions during the moment since it will make this much longer but god I felt terrible. Setting that aside, I told him I think I have dyscalculia, or some sort of focusing issue. I kept it short because I would cry if I say too much. He accepted it, saying to write down the symptoms I have and show him. But I never did out of fear. Mostly fear of the money and him, but also a fear of being wrong. The next day, it seemed like he had told my mother as they both started to speak to me with the same sentences I’ve heard my whole life. “You just have to try harder. You’re normal. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Or “You can do more than this, I know you can” while it’s just me feeling like I’m screaming out that I tried my best, that it was my threshold but I just hear it again, “try harder.”

So I didn’t mention it again. And I held through it. I held through my teachers learning not to call on me anymore, I held through my other math teacher indirectly calling me stupid, I held through my tutor staring at me when i answered 9x3 wrong. Until I couldn’t take being misunderstood anymore. I understood how vital it was towards my future and I really did care, that’s why I tried to seek help in the first place. I gave up completely (again, from being misunderstood for so long, and since I was already two-three units behind). I ignored math class, since I knew it was no use. Then came end of year exams. I studied for 7-10 hours minimum for math all including tutors and zoom calls. And guess what? I came out shaking because of the anxiety shock I felt when the examination woman said there was five minutes left, while I only finished half of the exam, with most of my answers wrong or unsure. I came out shaking. Until I finally couldn’t hold back the shock and cried in-front of my friends for the first time as a non emotional more nonchalant person, AND THEIR FREAKING PARENTS BUTBWHATEVER😭😭 literally while walking back to the car I almost broke down again when my dad asked me how the exam went, and I told him once I calmed down. God. You know when parents are so mad that they seem calm? Yeah.

THINGS IVE RELATED TO, OR SYMPTOMS:
I’d like to mention some I guess symptoms since I’ve been stating the main story and none of those.
-I use my fingers, usually hiding the motion behind my back or like just very subtle. When I try to do mental math, even if it’s simple, the words disappear and jump, but when I use my fingers it’s more of a physical input I guess and it keeps the thoughts still.
***-***it sounds like a foreign language. I can’t understand it. Things don’t make sense
-I find difficulty in anything fourth grade and above. Fractions, basic algebra, exponents, decimals, soh cah toh, switching the objective, subtraction, division, addition, multiplication….blah blah blah all that good stuff…
-I heavily rely on a calculator, and i usually have to beg my teachers to give me extra time on an exam because I want able to finish in time.
-anxiety when it comes to math, I avoid it as much as possible.
-having to recount, or re-read questions. English or math. Doesn’t matter.
-when counting up, I have to pause at “29” “99” “59” or any last number if it’s row because i don’t automatically know which is next. It’s all smooth: 56,57,58,59…….60?….61, 62… you get my idea.
-I freeze up with addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, and I often recount my answer. Like, I was once called up. The question was 8x3. I completely froze up. I had to steal the answer from someone who whispered it in the back.
-struggle memorizing formulas
-anxiety and just avoiding the subject (I think I said this already?)
-when calculating things like 77+33 I have to split it. 7+3 twice and it takes a while
-tbh much more i honestly can’t remember them all at the moment, but I do lack in some symptoms. Like I can
read a clock, it’s simple right? You just have to go by fives, and i memorized where 15 and 30 are so whatevs! I also can read numbers fine, but it gets a bit confusing after like the double digit thousands point like 22,675 or 432,876.

Anyway, there’s also some non-dyscalculia-related symptoms that I don’t understand why others don’t do it, or that I just don’t understand and just wanna get that out there if it might help.
-nothing can be normal for me. If I watch a show, it’s stuck with me. Like I’ve been constantly obsessing over a single show for three years now, if new stuff for i5 comes out i literally like feel it in my arms.I also have side interests that aren’t that extreme.
-Dino arms when i sleep
-terrible memory
-puppy hands sometimes when i am standing
-I shake my leg unconsciously or rub my pointer finger on my thumb like I’m snapping when I’m anxious. I get irritated fast especially from repetitive stuff like my brother running his mouth with TikTok audios or random noises, and I feel it in my arms. Makes me want to punch a wall to relieve the pressure. It’s like insufferable sitting next to someone who isn’t silent.
-stuttering!! I talk really fast when I’m excited or something, so I end up saying things repeatedly. For example, my dad noticed it on the car once and said to stop stuttering. I opened my mouth to talk again and I like stutted five times bro like “I-i-i-i-“
-I can’t meet people in the eyes sometimes,I think it might be because I was bullied in the past but I’m not sure.

CURRENT PRESENT (1-2 months after the exam) AKA MY MAIN ISSUE AT THE MOMENT:

I just can’t bring myself to feel those emotions again. The ones I felt when I originally came out, only to be fully denied two days later. I’m traveling to Turkey in 5 days for vacation so it’s my only chance to get the help I need. Literally. If it took me months to say the first notes, what about now? I have a five day time limit!!! I’m so anxious. What if he says no. What if he says yes, and I turn out to be wrong and just dumb. What if I’m just stupid. My biggest fear here is turning out to be wrong. That’s why I’m here. I want feedback from people who are diagnosed, so maybe it can comfort me more to open up. I plan on writing a script, I just need feedback.

Please ask if you need any more details of specific experiences since I’ve just been saying general stuff at the moment and there are some more things. I just need the comfort of knowing it’s not entirely my fault, that I did try my best, that I’m not just stupid and lazy because I didn’t try hard enough.

I’ll end it off here since I know I’ll ramble off if I say any more 😓😓again ignore the grammer at the time of writing this it’s very late

Please check the comments since people seem to have misunderstood my experiences and it’s kinda hurtful for them to be dumbed down like that. Like these aren’t the only things I’ve been through, I have a lot more I could mention though I’m just trying to get the main point through. I’ve suffered and people are just down here dumbing me down. If you aren’t diagnosed with it or you just want to dismiss me just don’t comment at all

I have no idea where to start. Everything above the fourth grade is difficult, and it sucks. I JUST WANT TO SAY IN NO WAY AM I WANTING TO SELF DIAGNOSE, ALSO THIS MIGHT BE LONG I REALLY HOPE SOMEONE READS IT T_T

I don’t have enough Karma points to go on r/dyscalculia so im going here, ALSO VERY ROUGH GRAMMAR IM NOT FOCUSING THAT RN ITS SO LATE AT THE TIME IM WRITING THIS IN MY NOTES APP FOR LATER😭😭

Info if it helps:
I’m 15 - just passed the 9th grade - she/her female -

Background:
I’ve been jumping around the tutoring and summer school programs for around seven years now, and only for one reason. Math. It was never English, infact I excel in English. I write literal books for fun, I draw, I paint, I do anything I can get my hands on. But for some reason when it comes to math my mind instantly goes blank. I can’t explain the feeling, but it just wipes me of any thought and I end up just staring. It took me a year to memorize the times table in elementary, and I began to notice ever so subtly one thing after third grade. I’m lacking. I only ever fully realized something was going on with me during the sixth grade, when i couldn’t understand mean median and mode while everyone around me did. The subject was mentioned once, and it seemed like everyone understood, soon after that I was placed in lower level maths. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it earlier, maybe because I was constantly being told I wasn’t working to my full potential, or to try harder, or the fact that I was just…less understanding than other kids. I’ve learned that dyscalculia is often diagnosed in a pair, so I thought back. I thought back to when my third grade teacher had my family buy me a fidget toy to focus, or when I was brought to the special social worker or something, and asked questions. I still struggle with focusing till this day. I have much more I could say about the past though this is the most simplified version.

Present (leaving out lots of experiences but whatever gotta get the main point through:)
I learnt about dyscalculia a year ago, and I dug into it. I scrolled through every Reddit page, every Wikipedia article, every TikTok and comment. I found myself deeply relating to them. So I mentioned it to my father after three months of anxiety (since my dad isn’t a very comforting person to come out to). I won’t explain my exact emotions during the moment since it will make this much longer but god I felt terrible. Setting that aside, I told him I think I have dyscalculia, or some sort of focusing issue. I kept it short because I would cry if I say too much. He accepted it, saying to write down the symptoms I have and show him. But I never did out of fear. Mostly fear of the money and him, but also a fear of being wrong. The next day, it seemed like he had told my mother as they both started to speak to me with the same sentences I’ve heard my whole life. “You just have to try harder. You’re normal. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Or “You can do more than this, I know you can” while it’s just me feeling like I’m screaming out that I tried my best, that it was my threshold but I just hear it again, “try harder.”

So I didn’t mention it again. And I held through it. I held through my teachers learning not to call on me anymore, I held through my other math teacher indirectly calling me stupid, I held through my tutor staring at me when i answered 9x3 wrong. I gave up completely. I ignored math class, since I knew it was no use. Then came end of year exams. I studied for 7-10 hours minimum for math all including tutors and zoom calls. And guess what? I came out shaking because of the anxiety shock I felt when the examination woman said there was five minutes left, while I only finished half of the exam, with most of my answers wrong or unsure. I came out shaking. Until I finally couldn’t hold back the shock and cried in-front of my friends for the first time as a non emotional more nonchalant person, AND THEIR FREAKING PARENTS BUTBWHATEVER😭😭 literally while walking back to the car I almost broke down again when my dad asked me how the exam went, and I told him once I calmed down. God. You know when parents are so mad that they seem calm? Yeah.

THINGS IVE RELATED TO, OR SYMPTOMS:
I’d like to mention some I guess symptoms since I’ve been stating the main story and none of those.
-I use my fingers, usually hiding the motion behind my back or like just very subtle. When I try to do mental math, even if it’s simple, the words disappear and jump, but when I use my fingers it’s more of a physical input I guess and it keeps the thoughts still.
-I find difficulty in anything fourth grade and above. Fractions, basic algebra, exponents, decimals, soh cah toh, switching the objective blah blah blah all that good stuff…
-I heavily rely on a calculator, and i usually have to beg my teachers to give me extra time on an exam because I want able to finish in time.
-anxiety when it comes to math, I avoid it as much as possible.
-having to recount, or re-read questions. English or math. Doesn’t matter.
-when counting up, I have to pause at “29” “99” “59” or any last number if it’s row because i don’t automatically know which is next. It’s all smooth: 56,57,58,59…….60?….61, 62… you get my idea.
-I freeze up with addition, multiplication, and division, and I often recount my answer. Like, I was once called up. The question was 8x3. I completely froze up. I had to steal the answer from someone who whispered it in the back.
-struggle memorizing formulas
-anxiety and just avoiding the subject (I think I said this already?)
-tbh much more i honestly can’t remember them all at the moment, but I do lack in some symptoms. Like I can
read a clock, it’s simple right? You just have to go by fives, and i memorized where 15 and 30 are so whatevs! I also can read numbers fine, but it gets a bit confusing after like the double digit thousands point like 22,675 or 432,876.

Anyway, there’s also some non-dyscalculia-related symptoms that I don’t understand why others don’t do it, or that I just don’t understand and just wanna get that out there if it might help.
-nothing can be normal for me. If I watch a show, it’s stuck with me. Like I’ve been constantly obsessing over a single show for three years now, if new stuff for i5 comes out i literally like feel it in my arms.I also have side interests that aren’t that extreme.
-I shake my leg unconsciously or rub my pointer finger on my thumb like I’m snapping when I’m anxious. I get irritated fast especially from repetitive stuff like my brother running his mouth with TikTok audios or random noises, and I feel it in my arms. Makes me want to punch a wall to relieve the pressure. It’s like insufferable sitting next to someone who isn’t silent.
-when calculating things like 77+33 I have to split it. 7+3 twice and it takes a while
-stuttering!! I talk really fast when I’m excited or something, so I end up saying things repeatedly. For example, my dad noticed it on the car once and said to stop stuttering. I opened my mouth to talk again and I like stutted five times bro like “I-i-i-i-“
-I can’t meet people in the eyes sometimes,I think it might be because I was bullied in the past but I’m not sure.

CURRENT PRESENT (1-2 months after the exam) AKA MY MAIN ISSUE AT THE MOMENT:

I just can’t bring myself to feel those emotions again. The ones I felt when I originally came out, only to be fully denied two days later. I’m traveling to Turkey in 5 days for vacation so it’s my only chance to get the help I need. Literally. If it took me months to say the first notes, what about now? I have a five day time limit!!! I’m so anxious. What if he says no. What if he says yes, and I turn out to be wrong and just dumb. What if I’m just stupid. My biggest fear here is turning out to be wrong. That’s why I’m here. I want feedback from people who are diagnosed, so maybe it can comfort me more to open up. I plan on writing a script, I just need feedback.

Please ask if you need any more details of specific experiences since I’ve just been saying general stuff at the moment and there are some more things. I just need the comfort of knowing it’s not entirely my fault, that I did try my best, that I’m not just stupid and lazy because I didn’t try hard enough.

I’ll end it off here since I know I’ll ramble off if I say any more 😓😓

I have no idea where to start. Everything above the fourth grade is difficult, and it sucks. I JUST WANT TO SAY IN NO WAY AM I WANTING TO SELF DIAGNOSE, ALSO THIS MIGHT BE LONG I REALLY HOPE SOMEONE READS IT T_T

I don’t have enough Karma points to go on r/dyscalculia so im going here

Info if it helps:
I’m 15 - just passed the 9th grade - she/her female -

Background:
I’ve been jumping around the tutoring and summer school programs for around seven years now, and only for one reason. Math. It was never English, infact I excel in English. I write literal books for fun, I draw, I paint, I do anything I can get my hands on. But for some reason when it comes to math my mind instantly goes blank. I can’t explain the feeling, but it just wipes me of any thought and I end up just staring. It took me a year to memorize the times table in elementary, and I began to notice ever so subtly one thing after third grade. I’m lacking. I only ever fully realized something was going on with me during the sixth grade, when i couldn’t understand mean median and mode while everyone around me did. The subject was mentioned once, and it seemed like everyone understood, soon after that I was placed in lower level maths. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it earlier, maybe because I was constantly being told I wasn’t working to my full potential, or to try harder, or the fact that I was just…less understanding than other kids. I’ve learned that dyscalculia is often diagnosed in a pair, so I thought back. I thought back to when my third grade teacher had my family buy me a fidget toy to focus, or when I was brought to the special social worker or something, and asked questions. I still struggle with focusing till this day. I have much more I could say about the past though this is the most simplified version.

Present (leaving out lots of experiences but whatever gotta get the main point through:)
I learnt about dyscalculia a year ago, and I dug into it. I scrolled through every Reddit page, every Wikipedia article, every TikTok and comment. I found myself deeply relating to them. So I mentioned it to my father after three months of anxiety (since my dad isn’t a very comforting person to come out to). I won’t explain my exact emotions during the moment since it will make this much longer but god I felt terrible. Setting that aside, I told him I think I have dyscalculia, or some sort of focusing issue. I kept it short because I would cry if I say too much. He accepted it, saying to write down the symptoms I have and show him. But I never did out of fear. Mostly fear of the money and him, but also a fear of being wrong. The next day, it seemed like he had told my mother as they both started to speak to me with the same sentences I’ve heard my whole life. “You just have to try harder. You’re normal. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Or “You can do more than this, I know you can” while it’s just me feeling like I’m screaming out that I tried my best, that it was my threshold but I just hear it again, “try harder.”

So I didn’t mention it again. And I held through it. I held through my teachers learning not to call on me anymore, I held through my other math teacher indirectly calling me stupid, I held through my tutor staring at me when i answered 9x3 wrong. I gave up completely. I ignored math class, since I knew it was no use. Then came end of year exams. I studied for 7-10 hours minimum for math all including tutors and zoom calls. And guess what? I came out shaking because of the anxiety shock I felt when the examination woman said there was five minutes left, while I only finished half of the exam, with most of my answers wrong or unsure. I came out shaking. Until I finally couldn’t hold back the shock and cried in-front of my friends for the first time as a non emotional more nonchalant person, AND THEIR FREAKING PARENTS BUTBWHATEVER😭😭 literally while walking back to the car I almost broke down again when my dad asked me how the exam went, and I told him once I calmed down. God. You know when parents are so mad that they seem calm? Yeah.

THINGS IVE RELATED TO, OR SYMPTOMS:
I’d like to mention some I guess symptoms since I’ve been stating the main story and none of those.
-I use my fingers, usually hiding the motion behind my back or like just very subtle. When I try to do mental math, even if it’s simple, the words disappear and jump, but when I use my fingers it’s more of a physical input I guess and it keeps the thoughts still.
-I find difficulty in anything fourth grade and above. Fractions, basic algebra, exponents, decimals, soh cah toh, switching the objective blah blah blah all that good stuff…
-I heavily rely on a calculator, and i usually have to beg my teachers to give me extra time on an exam because I want able to finish in time.
-anxiety when it comes to math, I avoid it as much as possible.
-having to recount, or re-read questions. English or math. Doesn’t matter.
-when counting up, I have to pause at “29” “99” “59” or any last number if it’s row because i don’t automatically know which is next. It’s all smooth: 56,57,58,59…….60?….61, 62… you get my idea.
-I freeze up with addition, multiplication, and division, and I often recount my answer. Like, I was once called up. The question was 8x3. I completely froze up. I had to steal the answer from someone who whispered it in the back.
-tbh much more i honestly can’t remember them all at the moment, but I do lack in some symptoms. Like I can
read a clock, it’s simple right? You just have to go by fives, and i memorized where 15 and 30 are so whatevs! I also can read numbers fine, but it gets a bit confusing after like the double digit thousands point like 22,675 or 432,876.

Anyway, there’s also some non-dyscalculia-related symptoms that I don’t understand why others don’t do it, or that I just don’t understand and just wanna get that out there if it might help.
-nothing can be normal for me. If I watch a show, it’s stuck with me. Like I’ve been constantly obsessing over a single show for three years now, with side interests that aren’t that extreme.
-I shake my leg unconsciously or rub my pointer finger on my thumb like I’m snapping when I’m anxious. I get irritated fast especially from repetitive stuff like my brother running his mouth with TikTok audios or random noises, and I feel it in my arms. Makes me want to punch a wall to relieve the pressure. It’s like insufferable sitting next to someone who isn’t silent.
-stuttering!! I talk really fast when I’m excited or something, so I end up saying things repeatedly. For example, my dad noticed it on the car once and said to stop stuttering. I opened my mouth to talk again and I like stutted five times bro like “I-i-i-i-“
-I can’t meet people in the eyes sometimes,I think it might be because I was bullied in the past but I’m not sure.

CURRENT PRESENT (1-2 months after the exam) AKA MY MAIN ISSUE AT THE MOMENT:

I just can’t bring myself to feel those emotions again. The ones I felt when I originally came out, only to be fully denied two days later. I’m traveling to Turkey in 5 days for vacation so it’s my only chance to get the help I need. Literally. If it took me months to say the first notes, what about now? I have a five day time limit!!! I’m so anxious. What if he says no. What if he says yes, and I turn out to be wrong and just dumb. What if I’m just stupid. My biggest fear here is turning out to be wrong. That’s why I’m here. I want feedback from people who are diagnosed, so maybe it can comfort me more to open up. I plan on writing a script, I just need feedback. Please ask if you need any more details of specific experiences since I’ve just been saying general stuff at the moment. I just need the comfort of knowing it’s not entirely my fault, that I did try my best, that I’m not just stupid because I didn’t try hard enough.

I’ll end it off here since I know I’ll ramble off if I say any more 😓😓