u/AerieRevolutionary67

https://preview.redd.it/k39jil6w1xsh1.png?width=1045&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab27ea9e5447882deae9cf1197136adb6278fb5d

I'm currently in an amazing butch4butch relationship and I couldn't be happier, but one thing that confuses me and makes me question my identity is the fact I don't mind being perceived as feminine by my (current) girlfriend. I don't want to be perceived as such by anyone else though. And I can't take on a completely feminine role in the relationship either, that's just not who I am. But it doesn't make me feel as dysphoric when it's my girlfriend who perceives me as feminine. Idk, it's a very weird place and makes me feel bad for claiming to be butch.

I'm looking to start selling physical items such as keychains, stickers, prints, etc., though I'd prefer to use sustainable materials and avoid resin or otherwise heavy plastic materials, although I'm not sure how exactly to start. I'm aware there are suppliers for wooden keychains, but that's basically all there is to my knowledge.

Just a few days ago this exact subreddit encouraged me to not hold myself back from identifying as butch even while having a few feminine qualities, and it's making me feel free in my queerness for the first time in my life.

I've always felt very masculine socially, even before I knew I was lesbian. I've always wished i could be an equal part of male social groups while being a woman, but I was very socially aware as a child and knew it would never be possible under patriarchal values, i would always be seen as lesser. I've always felt quite lost in the world, because i didn't want to fit in with girls my age, but i couldn't fit in with boys my age. Nowadays my closest friends are trans men and my girlfriend is also butch, which makes me feel very fulfilled :-)

The reason I stopped myself from identifying as butch for so long was because I sometimes present as feminine. I wear makeup every once in a while, I wear skirts and dresses to specific events such as Midsummer, but none of those things have ever felt like me. I am also on the autism spectrum and am highly masking for my own safety, and presenting as feminine just feels like a part of that mask. I've tried to be feminine many, many times, and while some parts stuck with me, most of them didn't.

Here's a quote from the audiodrama WOE.BEGONE, that was the final push for me to let go of my doubts and start discovering my butchness:

"Being an amalgam of so many consolidated people* means there’s too much precedent. I don’t know how I could possibly synthesize them, so disregardin' them entirely seems appropriate and healthy. And being a cowboy in particular means that I have the tools to deal with the situations here that I’m put in, situations that often require strength, resolve, and nerves of steel. And I can have these qualities even if I didn’t have them before, because I’m a cowboy first and who I was second."

"The cowboy thing don’t go away, no matter what happens, no matter how upset I get, for instance, and that’s cause I ain’t sitting here thinking, “what would a cowboy do?” I’m doing what Michael the cowboy does."

*"Being an amalgam of so many consolidated people" this specific character is a result of different versions of the same person combined into one. This character has experienced different perspectives (such as wishes, dreams, situations, opinions) of himself, which is why I connected with this quote so much.

Hello! I'm not an avid folk punk fan, but my girlfriend is a HUGE fan and our anniversary is coming up soon and i would like to include a song she will love in a letter.

The artists i most commonly see in her playlists:

• Pigeon Pit
• The Taxpayers
• Days N Daze (I love this one too!)
• The Mountain Goats
• Mischief Brew
• Ramshackle Glory
• RENT STRIKE
• AJJ

Would be preferred if songs from these artists were listed, but if not, that's also okay!! I'll listen to them all and pick out the best ones for this and also future celebrations with her :-)

I'd like to preface this by saying i know looks don't matter when it comes to being butch, but i still have my concerns.

I've felt more connected to masculinity than femininity all my life. I remember being jealous of my male classmates as a teenager for having social structures not commonly present in female communities, all while being a woman (i considered being trans, but that's not me). It sounds silly, but I'm still very jealous of the stereotype of middle aged men grilling and inhaling peanuts all the time (that should be ME!).

I mostly present masculine - all my skirts and dresses have been rotting away in my closet ever since i gained the ability to choose my own clothes as a teenager. My concern is that I sometimes present feminine. It feels like I'm putting on a costume rather than it being me, but that still stops me from using the butch label. I also don't present 100% masculine either. I want to have long hair, I don't mind wearing skin-tight shirts (mostly black tank tops though because they're the ones that don't look TOO feminine), i wear tons of jewelry, etc.

TLDR, I connect a LOT with the butch label, but I feel like i don't fit into the category enough to call myself that.

I understand the rest of the pronoun types just fine, but object pronouns (engem, téged, őt, etc) confuse me a little. Can someone show me an example of them being used in a sentence (and provide a detailed translation/explanation, if possible)

Total tech noob here. I bought a second-hand CD player from the internet, but it was specified that the cable is missing, and the seller doesn't know what type of cable it is. I don't have the CD player right now, but I have an image for the connector

Hello! I'm Latvian trying to start learning Hungarian independently.

I'd say I'm better than average at learning new languages, though I've primarily focused on Germanic/Baltic languages and I'm aware that Hungarian is a lot different than the Indo-European languages I've interacted with, so I need guidance on where to start, what to focus on, whatever seems important for a total beginner.

Though I'd like to mention that I'm currently not able to get much paid materials because my financial situation is very bad, but I don't mind spending a few extra years learning :-) I'm in no hurry, I just happen to be great friends with some people from Hungary (though I don't want to ask them for Hungarian advice/explanations for totally personal reasons). Thank you in advance!

Hi! Like the title says, I'm looking for some advice on how to help my partner with health OCD.

My partner has been pretty open about this issue and I know she's in therapy and can take care of herself when needed, but I still want to be informed on how to react to potential situations. I know everyone is different and there isn't a holy grail for this, but I want to be prepared for when I have a talk with her directly about this.

What do I do if one of us gets sick? I have a pretty good immune system, but I know it's going to happen at some point.

Is there any potentially triggering language? I try to not talk too much about health with her just to be safe.

What should I do if I ever notice her indulging in obsessive-compulsive behaviors? I haven't seen it much during our relationship, like I said, she is in therapy, but what if?

Besides those questions, I would like to hear about problems that arise from health OCD in general. I don't want to be ignorant on accident, so please inform me!

I would also like to mention I have a rough personal understanding of how obsessive-compulsive behaviors work as a whole - i've been struggling with trichotillomania and other behaviors that are extremely similar to those with OCD all my life (but I don't think it's full-blown OCD), so don't worry about me misunderstanding the fact it's not just "overreacting" or something of that sort. I just want to understand this disorder better outside of objective articles. Thank you in advance! 💝

Hello! I've known that I'm lesbian for about 11 years now, and I have an amazing lesbian girlfriend who I've been together with for a year now, but I've been extremely closeted and insecure until about 3 years ago.

I feel pretty confident in my sexuality now, but it feels more individual rather than feeling a part of a community, and it doesn't help that all queer women I know are bisexual.

I'm not really sure where to start with actually educating myself on lesbian culture and our history, and especially how to find community... I live in rural Eastern Europe so I know not all advice on finding community may apply to me, but it won't hurt to ask.

Thank you in advance!