u/Aexiias

Hello all, I'm honestly just looking for advice. I fly at a 141 University and i'm about 18 hours in. We're expected to solo at 15... but I still just don't feel ready. My CFI assures me I'm doing fine, but i'm not sure what's going wrong. I can do the maneuvers for the most part, and i can take off and land (mostly, i do bounce a bit bc we are short field) but I still am making mistakes I'm terrified i'll do solo. I still fixate on instruments and get a little distracted and pitch/roll to slightly odd attitudes when looking at instruments.

Currently I fly 3-4x a week for a minimum of an hour and a max of 2.5.

My worst fear is causing an accident or dying or worse, hurting/killing someone else. I'm running lower on flight fees than i should be at this point in the semester and I'm getting stressed.

Is this normal? Is my uni rushing me? Am i the problem? Any advice is appreciated.

Hi, I F 18 am about to go to college. I'm having all of these silly fantasies about meeting a cute guy and going out, but I'm honestly terrified, and unsure if i should just protect myself from the start. It's no secret to me that 18 year olds in college are thirsting to hook up, but that's just not me. I was sexually assaulted, and it left me struggling with pain and trauma years after the fact. Men, should i just be smart and save myself the heartbreak of being dumped/and or probably cheated on, or are there guys at this age also looking for something special?

EDIT: I suppose i should have phrased it better as a penetration free relationship. I am literally physically incapable of it at this point, even as i go through PT 😭🥲 not a lack of desire on my end.

I'm honestly just looking for some support.

Some background, About three years ago i developed pelvic floor dysfunction (hypertonic pf) and I also experience vaginismus as a result.

I'm honestly just mourning. I think i've been in such a rut with PT and dialators and the kiwi and the wand and all the other things i have tried because of the psychological distress i've been under. I have done about 15 sessions of PT, and I am trying to be grateful, my pain used to be so bad that I couldn't really function.

I used to love penetration. I am still a virgin but it was something important to me that brought me pleasure and even comfort. I'm honestly not sure what happened. That's the question I have about a thousand theories for.

I feel like i'll never be able to experience a relationship with another person the way I should, the way I was excited for. I was excited to find the right one, all that. I waited. I think grappling with the loss of a part of me is what's killing me, and the reality I'm probably just going to accept that part of me is gone and I'm just supposed to live with it.

I'm 18 and going to college, and i think that's probably also why i'm so upset. I feel like a bit of a freak. I deserve the privilege to get to go wild like everyone else as lame as it is, even if i probably never would've.

I honestly don't know what to do. I'm at this point i probably need to talk to a therapist, but i'm a pilot. So haha.

What do i do? I feel so terribly lost. I'm open to any kind of advice, exercise tips, acceptance tips, reassurance i'm not going to be unloved and unsatisfied in a relationship forever

I know this is probably a mess to read, i'm just word vomiting.

I had a really terrifying dream. My mom had seemed to throw a lot of old things away, furniture, random stuff all over the street. It was night when i returned. I parked my car on the side of the road, but i couldn't help but notice a rocking chair slowly rocking. Freaked out, i chose to ignore it and not look as i walked to the front door.

Then the ghost? Spirit? Impersonation? Of my great grandmother began to speak. She talked about things I can't exactly remember, and I remember apologizing and reassuring her they weren't true. Attempting to comfort her. Then she laughed, sinister and unsettling, and said now it didn't matter because she was liquid in the ground. My grandma always had a little dark humor, but this felt nothing like that. It felt very antagonistic. I got spooked and ran into the house and my mom asked me why i was so pale. I couldn't even speak before my "gma" was at the front door tapping on the glass. It scared me again, and i ran upstairs. Her sinister laugh continued all the while. I ran into my room and threw the curtains shut, but she could see me through the crack from the side of the yard and seemed very amused by my terror. She just kept it up with this scary ass laugh. Then, she appeared in the room, and i woke with a startle.

I'm really shaken up. I keep having nightmares. I haven't really had a history of nightmares until we moved into this house. Last night i had an experience with "exploding head syndrome", where it sounded like someone was slamming against the ground beneath me so loudly it woke me up.

Are these nightmares linked to trauma? Am I being followed by a malignant spirit?

What is this phenomenon where at least one or two people at MINIMUM pass out at every show? This isn't something i have EVER seen with any other artist. A symptom of americans getting more and more unhealthy? Ethel cain fans more likely to be chronically ill?? I don't get it😅