u/Affectionate_One9769

hi everyone. I just want to share my story and find some answers or just read what people say and think about it.

I am 30 year old woman, I have a newborn (2 months old almost) and a toddler 2,5 years old. Still married officially but… here’s the story:
We met in Dubai where I had a job, moved to his country in Europe where he invited me to live with him. I honestly thought this is it and fall in love with the man. He proposed after 6 months together. Life was beautiful and busy. He can’t sit still, big business, loves to travel, lots of people and fun. We traveled a lot. We became a family. My parents moved to his country because of war in my home.

we had our first daughter abroad and were constantly talking how we would move to Spain and live there, making future plans.

we both have siblings and we were dreaming that daughter has a sibling too, so we planned a baby. 2 months being pregnant with a second baby I discovered he has an affair. I was shocked, there was no doubt about us in my head. he was calling me the love of his life. He came back home in 2 days and talked to me, his parents, and he broke it with the AP.
He was with her just for 1,5 months when I discovered.
the AP is 4 years younger than me. She’s 26. I am now 30. He is 42.

He downgraded because she’s just a regular girl. She was following him to all events and places until she got him….
He made it look like he came back home for a month, I was devastated and asking lots of questions. Then I realized he is in touch with her and still seeing her. after a month from discovery he unsurely said that he wants to be just parents with me. Wtf?
I was shattered, I am pregnant, we have a toddler, I told him he is out of his mind. We agreed that we wont make major decisions in pregnancy. But I obviously knew he is with ap.
for half year it was functioning in a way that I know he is meeting her and talking to her, but he was home every day and sleeping on a sofa downstairs and helping and doing everything, but there was not a word about his affair. He was saying he helps me because I am pregnant, pregnancy was not easy and we have a toddler. I genuinely thought that he went mad and there is no chance they stay together and once the baby is born somehow he will wake up and do the work and try to bring it all back.
I was devastated, I had panic attack, crying, surviving pregnancy from day to day…. I was constantly worried, then I was sad, then angry, then I hoped, and so on. Lots of feelings. Until this day. After baby birth where he has the audacity to be there in birth room, which I did not reject because I truly hoped we will end up together… I thought he is so in love with the baby, so supportive, there is no way he can leave me alone in this…

then 7 days postpartum I just exploded and couldn’t handle this shit anymore. Is he here or is he there? What the fuck is going on? I kicked him out after he said “You wouldn’t want a guy who will stay just for the kids”.

the thing is that now it’s even worse. He wants to be Involved father and we have daily contact. He is still with the same bitch he cheated me on and he wants to take toddler for a walk/activity/etc. I have no clue if his bitch is there or not, how can I possibly know if he is a liar?? my babies don’t owe her a meeting even.

that the hardest part of all. The parenting part. With this person.

his parents won’t approve and say they will reject contact with ap. But that’s for now… we are still not officially divorced.

he is so weak he can’t even ask for divorce, I constantly have to talk to him to understand what’s going to happen and how things will be. I take care of two kids and he just blames me that he has little time with them. Like I am the one who did all this. He says he’d help all the time but “I won’t let him”. In fact, I am 24/7 around the kids, no time to shower. And he is fucking around, party, job, travels, gym , name it.

I can’t apply for divorce for another year until my documents here are done. I dont know how to survive this year. Once divorce is finalized I want to move abroad and I hope he gives Me permission to move with kids. He wants to be involved father because he can’t stand to be the bad guy in the story. He genuinely thinks “Life happened, I fall in love, I never meant to hurt you. And I will always be there for the kids, don’t make me loose contact with them”.

So the question is, am I crazy to feel furious? I think I am going crazy.
Do you have experience moving abroad with two kids to a totally new place (you visited but with one kid before)? With no Family or friends there.
what will be the custody plan for this case? He wants kids… let’s say they will be 5 and 3? Can he take them away for long?

please give advice on how to survive this and not break into pieces.

hi everyone. I just want to share my story and find some answers or just read what people say and think about it.

I am 30 year old woman, I have a newborn (2 months old almost) and a toddler 2,5 years old. Still married officially but… here’s the story:
We met in Dubai where I had a job, moved to his country in Europe where he invited me to live with him. I honestly thought this is it and fall in love with the man. He proposed after 6 months together. Life was beautiful and busy. He can’t sit still, big business, loves to travel, lots of people and fun. We traveled a lot. We became a family. My parents moved to his country because of war in my home.

we had our first daughter abroad and were constantly talking how we would move to Spain and live there, making future plans.

we both have siblings and we were dreaming that daughter has a sibling too, so we planned a baby. 2 months being pregnant with a second baby I discovered he has an affair. I was shocked, there was no doubt about us in my head. he was calling me the love of his life. He came back home in 2 days and talked to me, his parents, and he broke it with the AP.
He was with her just for 1,5 months when I discovered.
the AP is 4 years younger than me. She’s 26. I am now 30. He is 42.

He downgraded because she’s just a regular girl. She was following him to all events and places until she got him….
He made it look like he came back home for a month, I was devastated and asking lots of questions. Then I realized he is in touch with her and still seeing her. after a month from discovery he unsurely said that he wants to be just parents with me. Wtf?
I was shattered, I am pregnant, we have a toddler, I told him he is out of his mind. We agreed that we wont make major decisions in pregnancy. But I obviously knew he is with ap.
for half year it was functioning in a way that I know he is meeting her and talking to her, but he was home every day and sleeping on a sofa downstairs and helping and doing everything, but there was not a word about his affair. He was saying he helps me because I am pregnant, pregnancy was not easy and we have a toddler. I genuinely thought that he went mad and there is no chance they stay together and once the baby is born somehow he will wake up and do the work and try to bring it all back.
I was devastated, I had panic attack, crying, surviving pregnancy from day to day…. I was constantly worried, then I was sad, then angry, then I hoped, and so on. Lots of feelings. Until this day. After baby birth where he has the audacity to be there in birth room, which I did not reject because I truly hoped we will end up together… I thought he is so in love with the baby, so supportive, there is no way he can leave me alone in this…

then 7 days postpartum I just exploded and couldn’t handle this shit anymore. Is he here or is he there? What the fuck is going on? I kicked him out after he said “You wouldn’t want a guy who will stay just for the kids”.

the thing is that now it’s even worse. He wants to be Involved father and we have daily contact. He is still with the same bitch he cheated me on and he wants to take toddler for a walk/activity/etc. I have no clue if his bitch is there or not, how can I possibly know if he is a liar?? my babies don’t owe her a meeting even.

that the hardest part of all. The parenting part. With this person.

his parents won’t approve and say they will reject contact with ap. But that’s for now… we are still not officially divorced.

he is so weak he can’t even ask for divorce, I constantly have to talk to him to understand what’s going to happen and how things will be. I take care of two kids and he just blames me that he has little time with them. Like I am the one who did all this. He says he’d help all the time but “I won’t let him”. In fact, I am 24/7 around the kids, no time to shower. And he is fucking around, party, job, travels, gym , name it.

I can’t apply for divorce for another year until my documents here are done. I dont know how to survive this year. Once divorce is finalized I want to move abroad and I hope he gives Me permission to move with kids. He wants to be involved father because he can’t stand to be the bad guy in the story. He genuinely thinks “Life happened, I fall in love, I never meant to hurt you. And I will always be there for the kids, don’t make me loose contact with them”.

So the question is, am I crazy to feel furious? I think I am going crazy.
Do you have experience moving abroad with two kids to a totally new place (you visited but with one kid before)? With no Family or friends there.
what will be the custody plan for this case? He wants kids… let’s say they will be 5 and 3? Can he take them away for long?

please give advice on how to survive this and not break into pieces.

hi everyone. I just want to share my story and find some answers or just read what people say and think about it.

I am 30 year old woman, I have a newborn (2 months old almost) and a toddler 2,5 years old. Still married officially but… here’s the story:
We met in Dubai where I had a job, moved to his country in Europe where he invited me to live with him. I honestly thought this is it and fall in love with the man. He proposed after 6 months together. Life was beautiful and busy. He can’t sit still, big business, loves to travel, lots of people and fun. We traveled a lot. We became a family. My parents moved to his country because of war in my home.

we had our first daughter abroad and were constantly talking how we would move to Spain and live there, making future plans.

we both have siblings and we were dreaming that daughter has a sibling too, so we planned a baby. 2 months being pregnant with a second baby I discovered he has an affair. I was shocked, there was no doubt about us in my head. he was calling me the love of his life. He came back home in 2 days and talked to me, his parents, and he broke it with the AP.
He was with her just for 1,5 months when I discovered.
the AP is 4 years younger than me. She’s 26. I am now 30. He is 42.

He downgraded because she’s just a regular girl. She was following him to all events and places until she got him….
He made it look like he came back home for a month, I was devastated and asking lots of questions. Then I realized he is in touch with her and still seeing her. after a month from discovery he unsurely said that he wants to be just parents with me. Wtf?
I was shattered, I am pregnant, we have a toddler, I told him he is out of his mind. We agreed that we wont make major decisions in pregnancy. But I obviously knew he is with ap.
for half year it was functioning in a way that I know he is meeting her and talking to her, but he was home every day and sleeping on a sofa downstairs and helping and doing everything, but there was not a word about his affair. He was saying he helps me because I am pregnant, pregnancy was not easy and we have a toddler. I genuinely thought that he went mad and there is no chance they stay together and once the baby is born somehow he will wake up and do the work and try to bring it all back.
I was devastated, I had panic attack, crying, surviving pregnancy from day to day…. I was constantly worried, then I was sad, then angry, then I hoped, and so on. Lots of feelings. Until this day. After baby birth where he has the audacity to be there in birth room, which I did not reject because I truly hoped we will end up together… I thought he is so in love with the baby, so supportive, there is no way he can leave me alone in this…

then 7 days postpartum I just exploded and couldn’t handle this shit anymore. Is he here or is he there? What the fuck is going on? I kicked him out after he said “You wouldn’t want a guy who will stay just for the kids”.

the thing is that now it’s even worse. He wants to be Involved father and we have daily contact. He is still with the same bitch he cheated me on and he wants to take toddler for a walk/activity/etc. I have no clue if his bitch is there or not, how can I possibly know if he is a liar?? my babies don’t owe her a meeting even.

that the hardest part of all. The parenting part. With this person.

his parents won’t approve and say they will reject contact with ap. But that’s for now… we are still not officially divorced.

he is so weak he can’t even ask for divorce, I constantly have to talk to him to understand what’s going to happen and how things will be. I take care of two kids and he just blames me that he has little time with them. Like I am the one who did all this. He says he’d help all the time but “I won’t let him”. In fact, I am 24/7 around the kids, no time to shower. And he is fucking around, party, job, travels, gym , name it.

I can’t apply for divorce for another year until my documents here are done. I dont know how to survive this year. Once divorce is finalized I want to move abroad and I hope he gives Me permission to move with kids. He wants to be involved father because he can’t stand to be the bad guy in the story. He genuinely thinks “Life happened, I fall in love, I never meant to hurt you. And I will always be there for the kids, don’t make me loose contact with them”.

So the question is, am I crazy to feel furious? I think I am going crazy.
Do you have experience moving abroad with two kids to a totally new place (you visited but with one kid before)? With no Family or friends there.
what will be the custody plan for this case? He wants kids… let’s say they will be 5 and 3? Can he take them away for long?

please give advice on how to survive this and not break into pieces.