u/Agitated_Marsupial42

I’ve been with my partner, now spouse, for 10 years and have given him plenty of BJs. He has a strong preference for finishing inside me when he gets close so that’s what we’ve always done. I currently can’t have sex while I recover from a medical procedure so this was the first time I’ve had semen in my mouth in 10 damn years. I gagged twice, hard, before swallowing. I love giving oral pleasure to my husband and before him I’ve NEVER had this problem. Afterwards I felt pretty damn satisfied with myself an and happy that I was able to give him a ‘10/10 BJ’.

What in the hell is going on with me?! I do not intend to let this stop me. I know this is something I enjoy doing for him, but my body reacted so abnormally. Has anyone ever had this happen to them before? Maybe it’s just something I have to get used to again, it’s not like the taste was terrible or anything. The gagging just made no sense to me.

I've been a mess this week scouring the internet for case studies and other relevant research to help me be better understand and prepare for an internist appt. To keep in line with the rules I'm not looking for treatment instructions or commentary on current treatments. I just have no answers other than FIV and I'm looking for knowledge that can help me advocate for my baby. Below is my summary work-up of my baby's current status. I copy pasted a lot directly from the records. Again I'm not trying to break the rules I'm just desperate.

My cat Lady is a 9yo FIV+ cat with progressive pancytopenia since June. Infectious workup negative. Internist appt Thursday 8/13 for initial/new patient visit. She was admitted to the ER at this hospital 07/31 and the same internist was consulted on her case so I am hoping to get a marrow & core biopsy during the 08/13 appt since they are familiar with her case already. She may also need a packed RBC transfusion depending on her labs which I have scheduled 08/10. She has shown a weekly 1-2 point drop in HCT and is at 23.5 as of 8/6/26.

She is a spayed DSH, FIV+ since 2022 (PCR confirmed, subtype D), indoor-only, no travel. Asymptomatic her whole life until this summer.

In early June her WBC came back at 2.5 with neutrophils of 915, completely incidental, she was normal at home, red cells and platelets fine. By mid-July her hematocrit had dropped from 36.3% to 28.8% in three and a half weeks with no reticulocyte response, and platelets were falling too. Three cell lines going down at once.

Date	HCT (%)	Hgb	Retics (K/µL)	WBC	Neut	Platelets
12/26/22	37.1	13.2	0	7.0	2.95	adequate
6/5/26	36.0	11.6	8	2.5	0.92	166
6/23/26	36.3	12.1	17.6	2.89	1.41	147
7/17/26	28.8	9.5	6.5	2.78	1.48	96
7/24/26	27.0	9.2	8.7	3.58	2.15	101
7/29/26	25.9	8.6	8.1	3.70	1.94	83 (manual 120)
7/31/26	25.9	8.2	5.6	2.75	1.18	80 (manual 87–116)
8/6/26	23.5	7.9	8.4	3.28	1.03	78

Disclaimer: I used AI to assemble this chart after sifting through 36 pages of vet records. 

The reticulocytes are what scare me. Thirteen points of hematocrit gone and the count hasn't moved. A send-out on 8/1 came back at 11,200/µL absolute. Her marrow isn't answering. Two smaller things worth noting: her monocytes have run mildly high on the recent draws (0.69–0.76 against an upper limit of 0.67), and her reticulocyte hemoglobin is normal (17.0–17.5).

Where she is now. Lethargic in a way she's never been, not hiding, just done. 

Sleeps in the open, will sleep all day, self-isolating from her two housemates. 

Occasionally has good periods (hours to maybe a day) where she will meander around the house, enjoy a window sill view, or jump 2 feet to the lowest cat tree tier. 

Appetite has gone from picky to outright refusal on some days; she wouldn't eat at all on 7/31, which is what sent us to the ER. However, there are some days she appears eager to eat, vibrating tail, vocalizing, following me while I prepare food. Weight down from about 11 lb to 10.2 lb. No vomiting, no diarrhea, no bleeding or bruising despite the platelets. Body condition still 5-6/9 with good muscle, which is the one thing everyone keeps pointing to as reassuring.

 

What's been tried:

 

• Convenia injection (6/9) for the initial neutropenia, on the theory it might be dental-related. Neutrophils came up from 915 to 1,410 after the injection and have bounced between roughly 1,000 and 2,150 since, with the overall trend down. she's at 1,030 now.
• Vitamin K1 25mg, half a chewable daily since 6/23. started for the neutropenia, occasionally helps in FIV+ cats with myelodysplastic changes. No sustained response.
• Doxycycline 1 mL daily from 7/24, empirically while infectious testing was pending. Stopped 7/31 when everything came back negative. Worth flagging for anyone else reading: doxy can suppress appetite in cats, so some of her worst eating days may have been partly the drug.
• Pet-Tinic 1 mL twice daily for iron support. Caused one vomiting episode on the first dose.
• Mirtazapine 7.5mg, 1/4 tab daily  switched to oral on 7/31 after the transdermal stopped being enough. Switched back to transdermal after oral didn’t work.
• Dental cleaning was scheduled for 8/3 and is postponed indefinitely. Nobody wants to anesthetize a cat at 1,000 neutrophils and 78K platelets, and I don't blame them.
• Gabapentin 50 mg PO for discomfort. She had to take 100mg for an ultrasound and we noticed that it perked her up. So we requested a lower dose for possible pain.

 

Imaging (7/31, 3-view). Thorax was normal, no mediastinal mass, no pulmonary metastasis. But the radiologist noted the liver appears mildly enlarged and read it as suspected hepatomegaly, query metabolic hepatopathy, with a recommendation for abdominal ultrasound. That's her only significant imaging finding (a few incidental mineral flecks in the stomach were expected to pass on their own). What makes it odd to me is that her liver enzymes are all normal-to-low ALT 21, ALP 14, GGT 0, bilirubin 0.3 so there's an enlarged liver with no biochemical evidence of hepatocellular damage or cholestasis. 

 

Abdominal ultrasound: Normal with exception of spleen. “The capsule is smooth with a moderately stippled echotexture. There are no focal lesions. The splenic echotexture is subjectively more coarse than typical.” “-Mildly increase in stippling of splenic parenchyma - r/o secondary to pancytopenia vs. secondary to underlying disease (infectious, inflammatory, neoplastic)”

Negative so far: feline anemia RealPCR across the board, all three hemotropic Mycoplasmas, Cytauxzoon, Bartonella, Anaplasma, Ehrlichia, FeLV. Only FIV positive, already known. Chemistry otherwise unremarkable except total protein 9.4, globulin 6.5, A:G ratio 0.4. No marrow-toxic drug exposure.

 

Pathologist smear review (finalized 7/31): pancytopenia, no infectious organisms, no neoplastic cells, no morphologic abnormalities in any line. Occasional platelet clumps were noted, which is why the manual estimates run higher than the analyzer counts. Rule-outs listed were retroviral infection, aleukemic leukemia, myelofibrosis, myelophthisis, MDS, certain infectious diseases, and drug reactions, with a recommendation for marrow aspirate and core biopsy.

 

That's Thursday, with internal medicine. She's still purring and still comes to bed. She's just tired, and every week the numbers go down a little more. Posting in case any of this looks familiar to someone.

UPDATE: RBCs are up, weight is down, new fever.

Lady - 9 yr FS feline, 9.2lbs (down from 10.86 on 6/5/26)
IDEXX ProCyte Dx | Temp today 102.8 (normal 101.5 +/- 1)

Test        8/11/26     8/6/26      Reference     Flag
RBC         5.47 M/uL   5.28 M/uL   6.54-12.20    LOW
HCT         24.2 %      23.5 %      30.3-52.3     LOW
HGB         8.1 g/dL    7.9 g/dL    9.8-16.2      LOW
MCV         44.2 fL     44.5 fL     35.9-53.1
MCH         14.8 pg     15.0 pg     11.8-17.3
MCHC        33.5 g/dL   33.6 g/dL   28.1-35.8
RDW         25.2 %      24.3 %      15.0-27.0
%RETIC      0.3 %       0.2 %       --
RETIC       15.9 K/uL   8.4 K/uL    3.0-50.0
RETIC-HGB   17.7 pg     17.0 pg     13.2-20.8
WBC         3.13 K/uL   3.28 K/uL   2.87-17.02
%NEU        46.3 %      31.4 %      --
%LYM        29.4 %      47.6 %      --
%MONO       24.3 %      21.0 %      --
%EOS        0.0 %       0.0 %       --
%BASO       0.0 %       0.0 %       --
NEU         1.45 K/uL   1.03 K/uL   2.30-10.29    LOW
LYM         0.92 K/uL   1.56 K/uL   0.92-6.88
MONO        0.76 K/uL   0.69 K/uL   0.05-0.67     HIGH
EOS         0.00 K/uL   0.00 K/uL   0.17-1.57     LOW
BASO        0.00 K/uL   0.00 K/uL   0.01-0.26     LOW
PLT         68 K/uL     78 K/uL     151-600       LOW
MPV         19.4 fL     18.7 fL     11.4-21.6
PCT         0.13 %      0.15 %      0.17-0.86     LOW

Analyzer comments:
- Anemia without reticulocytosis - likely non-regenerative;
  consider pre-regenerative anemia.
- Monocytosis - consider inflammation (if lymphopenia,
  consider glucocorticoid response).

My county water supplier recently started dumping chloramine in the water. My tap water is now loaded with ammonia. I’ve tried replacing my Apec 90 RO system carbon filters with catalytic carbon filters which took it down to about 1ppm. At this point I’ve just been detoxing it and hoping the county cools it with the chloramine, but it’s been over a month.

Ive got a 100g so and my tank is purposely hard water (African cichlids) so I don’t want to have it delivered as the water will be too soft.

Is there another stage filter I can add to my RO system? Maybe a DI or cation exchange stage, or will the hardness of my water make that moot?

Should I just buy water and remineralize it?

Is there a simpler solution and I’m just overthinking it?

Ask about Journavx. My surgeon uses this exclusively for post op pain management. I was super skeptical when told I wasn’t getting any opioids for pain. I felt no pain post op, none, while on Journavx. I didn’t have to worry about the dreaded opioid constipation, or any other opioid side effects and my recovery was a breeze. It’s a fairly new medication that blocks sodium channels on pain receptor, essentially blocking out the pain.

I had a labrum repair and a massive CAM deformity shaved off. I was on Journavx for 12 or 14 days post op. Still amazed at how effective this non opioid pain med is.

It finally happened to me after 7 years since my first tank.

Noticed my canister filter output had dropped a bit and thought okay that’s weird I cleaned it 2 weeks ago, but I’ll clean it again this weekend.

Then my husband wakes me up at 1:30am with ‘babe there’s a dead fish’. Water looks cloudy af, snails have evacuated above water line and fish are gasping. Removed dead fish, found another dead fish during 40% water change. Water tested within acceptable limit.

Checked again at 5am waters cloudy, snails have evacuated above water line and fish are gasping. Ammonia high. Fuck. Another water change and used declorinator that detoxes this time. Lightly cleaned filter, which wasn’t super dirty, but the filter media ‘smelled off‘ and now the damn thing won’t start.

Pulled apart filter again and disassembled motor. There’s a damn snail wedged in it. Pretty sure he was the cause of the low flow and now I’m noticing that the media doesn’t just ‘smell off’, it smells dead… fuccckkkk.

Called my fish guy and the only thing he recommends I do in addition to multiple water changes is add bacteria. I’ve picked up some mid grade bacteria from local stores and ordered some higher quality bacteria (Dr Tom’s, Fritz aquatics).

Turned the temp down to 76, cut tank lights, lowered water level so the output head moves surface water more vigorously, 2 water changes a day, threw all my extra water rooted ivy in, and going to dose with bacteria regularly. Discarded all the dead filter media.
It’s a 100g African tank.

as of right now I’ve done 3 water changes and cannot get the ammonia to get below 0.5ppm. 0 nitrite and nitrate. I’ve been going at this since 1:30am.

Any thing I’m not doing that I should be? Or anything I need to stop doing?

It finally happened to me after 7 years since my first tank.

Noticed my canister filter output had dropped a bit and thought okay that’s weird I cleaned it 2 weeks ago but I’ll clean it again this weekend.

Then my husband wakes me up at 1:30am with ‘babe there’s a dead fish’. Water looks cloudy af, snails have evacuated above water line and fish are gasping. Removed dead fish, found another dead fish during 40% water change. Water tested within acceptable limit.

Checked again at 5am waters cloudy, snails have evacuated above water line and fish are gasping. Ammonia high. Fuck. Another water change and used declorinator that detoxes this time. Lightly cleaned filter, which wasn’t super dirty, but the filter media ‘smelled off‘ and now the damn thing won’t start.

Pulled apart filter again and disassembled motor. There’s a damn snail wedged in it. Pretty sure he was the cause of the low flow and now I’m noticing that the media doesn’t just ‘smell off’ it smells dead… fuccckkkk.

Called my fish guy and the only thing he recommends I do in addition to multiple water changes is add bacteria. So now I’m at the petstore picking some up.

Turned the temp down to 76, cut tank lights, lowered water level so the output head moves surface water more vigorously, 2 water changes a day, threw all my extra water rooted ivy in, and going to dose with bacteria regularly.
Its a 100g African tank.

Any thing I’m not doing that I should be? Or anything I need to stop doing?

I’ve never made a marriage post before but this is driving me batshit. My spouse has had chronic GI issues for years. Seen a few specialists but never followed through with maintaining care long enough to get an answer.

This past year has been a bad one, with a week long hospitalization and numerous flair ups. We have seen some great specialists but my spouse ultimately decides no one knows what they’re talking about because they want a colonoscopy after reviewing his history. He defaults to googling and ordering whatever meds/treatment google says.

It’s impossible to be a happy person with chronic gut issues. I get not wanting a colonoscopy, but this shit is building up, literally, and I’m just getting more and more angry every time I hear ‘whats a doctor going to do? they haven’t done anything to help me!’. Of fucking course it’s not going to help when you don’t fucking follow through!

Because google is doing such a great job right? I hate seeing my partner in pain and I really think I’m developing resentment dealing with the fallout.

Just so happy and wanted to share! Every day since surgery I’ve felt better than I have in years! My CAM covered 12 o’clock to 6 o’clock of the femoral neck, much bigger than initially thought, and it’s gone!

Pain meds, journavx, stopped on day 7 and I still feel great.

The biggest challenge is remembering to take it easy.

I did not expect to feel this good after surgery.

My surgeon started me on Journavx, a non opioid pain med that basically cuts off pain signals at the source. I was very skeptical at first but wow. I cannot believe that there is finally a non opioid pain med that actually works for post op patients. I’m 3 days out from surgery and the most pain I’ve felt is that of a minor flair up.

I also cannot recommend a cold rush unit enough! I went into surgery during the start of a heavy flair up, 8/10, and my surgeon said my joint was extremely red and inflamed . He recommended that I stay on ice for at least 24 hours and my cold rush unit was definitely worth it.

If you bought an exercise bike for post op recovery can you comment which one you bought? My surgery is Friday and I'm looking into getting one. My surgeons office recommended an upright bike and I would like recommendations from those who have tested specific bikes out.

Visiting from Texas for a week and I have gone hiking 3 times so far, hot springs area and petit jean state park. After our 2 hot springs hikes we had to strip immediately, throw everything in the wash, and wash off because there were so many ticks!

I can’t even explore the area around where I’m staying without finding at least 3 ticks trying to make a snack of me.

I know we have ticks in Texas, but I’ve hiked all over my state and found maybe one. Leeches have been more common in my experience.

I used a mosquito/tick repellent and they didn‘t care. How do you keep them off of you?
Also if you know of any water features that aren’t dried up I would love to know. Hitting the ozark area later this week.

31yo F pain for 7 years, diagnosed 1 year ago.

Got a PRP injection about 3 months ago and I thought it wasn’t working until I did a cross country trip essentially pain free this week.

It honestly took me by surprise and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t miserable then I realized the injection must be finally working!

I have second guessed whether or not I should go through with surgery every time I’m not in pain, then a flair up hits and I’m like “oh yea, this sucks” and wish my surgery was sooner.

Has anyone had success from PRP in the long term? I know it’s not going to fix the CAM deformity, but maybe 2-3 PRP injections a year is enough to keep my joint intact?

idk… my surgery is 1 month & 2 days out so I could just be letting my anxiety run wild by trying to find any other solution.