u/Agitated_Raccoon_812

Everytime sinasalo ng asawa ko yung mga gawain ko for baby, like pagpapadede (bottle feeding kmi once a day, the rest ay unli latch sa akin), pagligpit ng pinagliguan, pagpapatulog, pagpalit ng diaper especially sa madaling araw, parang grabe yung pasasalamat ko. Eh lahat nga yun ako gumagawa 24/7 walang pahinga kapag nasa work sya, tapos konting tulong grabe na yung pasasalamat ko? Don’t get me wrong, i love and appreciate my husband. He is trying his best, and he is a good husband, and even a better father. Pero naisip ko bakit? Why do i feel indebted to him for doing those things when he is as much of a parent as i am? Ganito ba talaga ang pagiging nanay?

I recently gave birth via CS kasi nag preeclampsia ako, and currently struggling with breast feeding and taking care of the baby almost single-handedly. Nung hindi pa ako nanganganak, mahirap din pinagdaanan ko kasi high risk pregnancy ako (multiple miscarriages, APAS, hypertension). Everyday nag iinject, every month may transfusions, 15 oral meds and supplements taken every day. All while still working kasi sayang naman sasahurin. More than 60k nagagastos sa mga gamot monthly and ako lahat nagssustain nun. Even the nesting na umabot more than 100k, ako lahat bumili. My husband also works pero he shoulders the household bills. Nag let go kami ng property to prepare for the delivery and I told him to set aside 400k para sa panganganak, the rest ay pinambayad namin sa other investments na need ifully paid. Nung nanganak ako, na zero bill kami so walang nailabas na money si husband aside sa daily expenses sa ospital and mga out of pocket na bilihin.

Now, we bought our ob a bag as a thank you gift. For context, it’s a polene bag worth 32k. I actually really want this bag also for myself, pero nanghihinayang ako bumili ng ganito ka mahal for something unimportant and nagdedepreciate kaya bumili ako nung fake sa ig worth 1k. But i thought my ob would like this and deserve nya naman, actually kulang pa nga e since all my 3 operations pro-bono nya.

Anyways, now na dumating na yung bag, wala akong gana i-open ang parcel kasi it’s kind of sad na hindi naman sya akin (haha sorry baka postpartum hormones or idk). Nung finally na open ko na, i realized na gustong gusto ko talaga sya and ang layo ng feel nya sa dupe. Wala pa akong bag na worth more than 2k kasi hinayang talaga ako and hindi naman ako bag person, but this time, i was really considering getting one for myself like some sort of reward or souvenir for the time I had my rainbow baby. I plan to pay for it myself since may savings pa naman ako from when i was working (I’m currently on maternity leave) pero itong savings din kasi ginagamit ko pang checkout ng mga needs ni baby so medyo hesitant pa din ako gumastos, on top of i feel like aksaya lang sya. But my mind keeps going back to the bag kaya ni-open up ko sa husband ko. His reaction really dampened my enthusiasm kasi he keeps on insisting na same lang naman yung dupe ko ang yung authentic, pina feel ko yung leather and parang very meh lang dw talaga for him (he’s a guy who appreciates quality kaya alam ko on other context, maaappreciate nya yung leather quality), sabi pa nya na pano yan same daw kami ng ob ko ng bag, and hindi nga daw maganda yung bag. Meanwhile bumili kami iphone 17 promax nya on the day that our baby got discharged from the hospital- a purchase i fully supported kasi nasira naman talaga phone nya and need nya phone sa work nya. Medyo na sad lang ako kasi I spent this past months physically and financially sustaining for this pregnancy and even now na nagssacrifice ako for our newborn, i can’t feel like I deserve to have nice things.

My husband (31/M) and I (31/F) have been married for more than 2yrs and now have a child on the way. Before pa kami nagpakasal, napag-usapan na namin na bubukod talaga kami and we will not be living in either parent’s house (only child kami pareho and our mothers are living alone din pareho, so it seemed fair). Before the wedding, naka separate apartments kami until we moved in months before until 6mos after the wedding. Then we had to move back sa province due to changes in workplace and career setup. The most convenient for us at the time was to move back and live with his mother. Alam nyang ayoko talaga but I had to adjust kasi that was what we needed at the time.

It’s been almost 2y now, and with a child along the way, parang wala pang end in sight for me. May lupa na kaming almost done paying so yun yung ina-eye na papatayu-an ng bahay pero that would take another few years pa. My MIL is really great in all aspects, very supportive, hindi ma-kuda and I know kung anong inaadjust ko, doble ang pag-aadjust nya. But all the same, iba parin talaga yung may sariling bahay. At alam ng asawa ko na yun talaga ang gusto ko from the start- a home of my own kasi growing up, I was very sheltered by my mom to the point na hindi nya ko tinuruan ng basic life skills kaya gusto ko ng sariling bahay to make my own decisions, matuto mag manage ng sarili kong household and basically have some semblance of independence. Pero ngayon, ni pagbili ng karne sa market need idaan kay MIL.

May katulong kami, my own hire kasi hindi ako nag luluto and hindi ako komportable magluto dito sa hindi ko own space. Hindi din nagluluto MIL ko so yung kinakain namin ay puro bili sa labas or delata kaya i had to hire someone na mag aasikaso ng pagkain ko lalot buntis ako and still working. I was frustrated today kasi sinabihan ko na yung katulong na magluto ng sabaw for lunch. Tas paglabas ko ng kwarto walang sabaw na nakahain kasi sinabihan dw sya ni MIL na wag na magluto kasi andaming leftovers (handa from my lola’s bday yesterday). Eh yung mga leftovers ay spaghetti, cake, valenciana, anong uulamin ko dun??? Pati yung maliliit na bagay tulad ng pagtatanong nya kung ano yan mga parcel na narerecv ko, kinakainisan ko minsan. Sinasabihan ko din sila na after itupi mga damit, ilagay lang sa gilid at ako mag aayos sa cabinet para alam ko saan hahanapin pero pilit parin nilalagay sa cabinet namin so kapag hindi ko makita, naiinis nanaman ako. Mga trivial things na expected kasi nakikisama lang ako sa bahay ng MIL ko, and I know some wives have it worse. Pero every single inconvenience, nirarant ko sa asawa ko because I partly blame him for putting me in this situation. Afford ko magrent ng sariling bahay, magpatayo even. Pero I’m stuck here kasi nag aadjust ako sa kung ano ang most convenient for him.

So, ABYG kasi reklamador ako at hindi willing mag adjust sa mga maliliit na bagay as a DIL?

May 3 days convention sila husband sa boracay, and he decided na isama ako para makapag babymoon na din kami bago ako manganak. I’m currently 8mos pregnant with our first baby, and currently suffering from pregnancy induced sciatica and carpal tunnel syndrome, among all other complications. We prepared everything since land travel lang kami and it would take 5-6hrs travel. He planned the route with frequent stops na may malinis na CR, room upgrades, and nagsama ng dalawang staff to help with the logistics para yung attention nya mafocus nya sa pag-alalay sakin.

Ngayon, si staff 2, hindi nag-inform na magdadala sya ng toddler nya. Nalaman nalang namin nung nakwento ni MIL a night prior to the travel date na nakita nya si staff 2 namimili ng beach toys for her toddler. Husband was frustrated kasi we werent able to make provisions for kids (iisang car lang kami lahat) and had to make last minute arrangements sa accommodations (we booked their accoms, separate hotel from ours kasi medyo mahal yung sa amin pero 5min walk lang naman yung distance from our hotel. Sagot din namin allowances and all other travel expenses nila).

So during the travel, yung bata, bilang bata, ang galawgaw, maingay ang tablet, nagttantrums pag di pinayagan magtablet. Naccarsick din sila both ng nanay nya pero walang common sense itong si staff 2 na magprepare ng meds nila. Nung papunta, humingi syang bonamin kay staff 1. Then nung pauwi, hindi din nagprepare kahit alam ng naccarsick silang mag ina. Suka tuloy sila ng suka sa byahe. Gusto pa ng toddler ipapatay yung aircon kasi nga naccarsick sya. Eh ako bilang buntis baka ako yung mamatay pag walang aircon. During meal times ang annoying nya rin, either hindi sya kakain then magttantrums na nagugutom while on the road or gusto na agad maunang kumain kahit may mga hinihintay pang food or mga kasama.

These are really small things na normal kung may toddler, but i just find it a tad annoying and inconvenient kasi hindi naman to kasali sa plano. It was supposed to be a trip na makakapagrelax kami mag-asawa, pero ang ending, para lang kaming nagdala ng mga alagain na extra gastos. Si staff 1 medyo mabagal pa and needs utusan (understandably kasi relatively bago palang sya, kaya pinasama si staff 2). Etong si staff 2, imbes makatulong,sakto nalang humawak at magbantay ng anak nyang takbo ng takbo. Naging liability pa instead na makatulong. So ang ending, yung husband ko parin yung na stress kaka asikaso sa lahat. Pati silang dalawa need asikasuhin tas ang hirap pa icontact kasi laging lowbatt dalawa pa talaga sila. Parang walang common sense itong si staff 2 na ang pagdala nya ng toddler nya sa work trip is an imposition. Para tuloy silang nag-all expenses paid bakasyon instead of work.

Yun lang naman, just needed to vent this out kasi ang frustrating lang pero i know it’s petty. I’ll get over it but I’m gonna btch about it first lol.

My husband (31/m) and I (31/f) have 2 cats. Cat A is 8yo has been with him since before we started dating while cat B is 3yo that i got when we were already dating. Recently, I had to rehome cat B to make room for our incoming baby. We chose to let go of cat B kasi mas nakakapagod sya bantayan- sipunin, umiihi sa bed and tumatae sa floor kahit litter trained naman sya. Also because he is younger and may breed sya (himalayan) so better chances of adoption vs cat A na senior cat na puspin.

Now, my mom (53/f) has always had an unhealthy attachment with me. I grew up an only child and sanay sya na may say sa buhay ko, alam lahat ng galaw ko, and makes decisions for me kaya nung time na nagka serious relationship ako (with my now husband) and started drawing boundaries, she took it as losing control over me and started antagonizing my husband. Ang default thinking nya lagi is victim sya and echapwera while ako ay manipulated lang ng husband ko- which is far from the truth.

Ngayon, nung nalaman nya na pina adopt ko yung cat ko, gusto nya ipa adopt din namin yung cat ni husband ko para fair daw. My husband sent a picture of me handing over cat B sa new furmom nya sa fam gc namin with the caption “ba-bye, [cat B]!” to which my mom replied “sana next time babye [cat A] na din”. I exploded kasi this is already after i explained to her why we were choosing to let go of cat B and not cat A and also because i was annoyed that she assumed yet again that my husband was behind this decision (sabi nya bakit daw ang dali sa asawa ko na ipamigay si cat B, porket daw ba akin si cat B while si cat A ayaw nya ipamigay kasi sakanya). I was fuming kasi bakit ganon ang default thinking nya? Little did she know na ako magpumilit kay husband na irehome si cat B and that i was greatly relieved nung naipamigay ko na sya.

As a buntis na sumabog sa pagiging main character and victim-mindset ng nanay ko, ang dami kong masasakit na salitang nasabi. ABYG kasi pinatulan ko sya or was i overreacting?