Tired of living under this pressure
I think what hurts the most is that people only see the delayed graduation and not everything behind it.
I came to the US after growing up through war and instability. My childhood was survival mode for years and I honestly don’t think I ever fully processed how much that affected me mentally.
When I started college I was ambitious and excited and thought I’d graduate in May 2025. But I chose STEM and ended up struggling badly. I repeated classes, failed exams over and over, switched majors, worked while studying, took nonstop summer classes trying to catch up, and slowly started losing confidence in myself.
Then the comparisons started. Younger relatives moving faster than me. Constant pressure about graduation timelines. Feeling embarrassed every family gathering when people ask where I’m at in school.
Eventually I completely burned out. I got to a point where I genuinely could not handle the stress anymore and had to take a semester off because mentally I was falling apart.
I ended up getting put on medication and things improved a little after that, but now I feel trapped between trying to protect my mental health and trying to rush through school to prove I’m not a failure.
And honestly the worst part is that after enough setbacks you start internalizing it. You stop seeing yourself as someone struggling and start seeing yourself as someone who’s just not smart enough.
I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I think I’m just exhausted from carrying all of it silently while everyone around me only notices the graduation date.
