u/AgreeableDiver5013

So I’ve been really thinking about phalloplasty lately, but I’d just recently searched up the idea of healing process and almost threw up at the sight of what needs to be done to your forearm for the necessary tissue. I don’t wanna describe it all that much- just thinking about it makes me weak, but the area is literally entirely stripped of all skin like a diagram of a human muscle structure. Was something like that painful after waking up from surgery for the first time?

It feels like I’ve tried just about everything, like everything I place or put on the walls feels feminine in some sort of way that leaves me confused and frustrated. It’s as if the knowledge that a fake boy put up and placed all this shit, that if I were a real boy maybe I’d feel better about expressing myself with a poster that just pisses me off because I’m worried it’s “too girly” to like Kurt Cobain or The Clash. The only thing I’m really comfortable with is those little pieces of paper you get inside DVD’s that list specific times scenes happen- and I’ve only got 13 of those (not a lot if you consider how big a dvd case is). But then again I’m still staring at all this shit and wondering “is this too colorful?” or “would a real boy think this is too feminine to like?”

Just got my hands on an aiwa nsx-aj503 digital audio system, both cassette players are untested (simply because I don’t own any), but the radio works and the speakers sound pretty good. The only problem I have is with the CD player. I’ve tried cleaning off the laser with a CD laser lens cleaner though it remains unsuccessful. I’d send a video, but all it does is say “reading” before it stops spinning.