AITAH for getting my girlfriend an engagement necklace?
I (32M) am planning to ask my gf (36F) to marry me soon. We’ve talked about it a lot, and she says that she wants me to get an engagement necklace instead of an engagement ring, which I am super fine with. My gf even picked out the exact necklace she would want. She also doesn’t like diamonds for the necklace, so I asked her what exactly she would want and she gave me a link to the necklace she would want. The necklace that she asked for was very cheap (like $50), but she seemed to like it and who am I to disagree if that’s what she wants.
However, my mother has been completely against the idea about getting a necklace instead of a ring. My mother was adamant that an engagement ring should be a diamond and not a necklace. This has led to a lot of arguing between my mother and I since I am only trying to get what my girlfriend wants, but my mom is more traditional when it comes to these things. Part of her argument is that what I get for an engagement should last forever and what my girlfriend specifically asked for may get damaged overtime easier since it’s cheaper. My mom is also adamant that my gf asked for that particular necklace for money reasons, which my gf has made clear that money has nothing to do with it. She just doesn’t like diamonds and she works a lot with her hands so she said she would prefer a necklace.
I bought the necklace but a part of me thinks that maybe a ring to go along with the necklace could maybe work since the necklace is partially meant to have a ring on it. My brother has even backed up my mom about the whole thing and thinks getting a ring would be better. I am also worried that her family might think I’m cheap which isn’t my intent. I am just trying to make my gf happy. I hate how I am letting other people’s opinions get to me, but I don’t want there to be anything that would ultimately cause problems for my gf. I also am frustrated cause I wanted to make the whole thing a surprise, but that’s not possible with how the situation has developed. Should I get a ring with the necklace? I feel like if I do the necklace by itself then I am being too cheap. Should I just use the necklace by itself? Would that make me the AH?
Edit:
Wow there has been a lot of replies really fast! Just wanted to clarify. I am getting her the necklace no matter what. There was no universe where I would let my mother make me not get a necklace since it’s what my gf wanted and I’d never take my mother’s opinion over what my gf wanted. My dilemma was that other peoples opinions made me feel like it wasn’t enough or that it was incomplete. The main question was if I should get a ring as well. Thank you for the comments though!