u/Alceterro

I was raised from early childhood in an environment where homosexuality was taught to be the worst sin, a perversion, and that gay people would go to hell. I've never been able to free myself from the guilt that came with those beliefs, even though I've never even been in a same-sex relationship.

Later, I started developing serious health problems. I received several different diagnoses, but none of the treatments brought much improvement. I came across the idea in many books that guilt lies behind almost every illness. I think David Hawkins wrote about this as well.

Now I've decided that I want to let go of that guilt. I want to be free. I just want to love and be loved.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice on how to approach this? I appreciate any advice or insight you can offer. Thank you.

I met this guy on Facebook last year and we quickly became friends. We chatted every day, exchanged selfies, flirted a little, and he often called me handsome. He wanted to meet me and even offered to travel several hundred kilometers to see me.

Then, during a conversation about relationships, he casually told me he'd been in a long-term relationship. That caught me completely off guard. After that, we spoke less and less, though he still wanted to meet me (many times). He often complained that nobody texted him, asked whether I had a boyfriend, and seemed interested in my personal life.

At the end of May, I mentioned a dream where we met and cooked together. He joked that it sounded like a date. Shortly after, he stopped replying for over a month.

Eventually, I realized I didn't actually need him in my life. I was always there for him, even sending him a care package and remembering his birthday, while he never showed the same effort. At one point, he even called me "weird."

We've never actually met. I wish him well and have zero regrets, but the problem is... he's kind of stuck in my head.

I don't have any thoughts about him. I'm not hoping for a relationship, a better contact, or anything. He's just kind of in the back of my mind for no reason and it feels horrible...

Is there anything I can do or should I just try to accept this condition and it will go away on its own?

This is honestly quite embarrassing since I'm 27 and this guy is 32, but anyway, let's go...

I met this guy on Facebook last year. We became friends pretty quickly. It was around April. After about three weeks, he told me he wanted to meet me and even offered to come visit me (we live several hundred kilometers apart). At the time, I already had other plans, so it didn't happen.

We chatted every day. From time to time, we exchanged selfies. He would tell me I was handsome, that I was the hottest guy he knew, and we flirted a little. We also talked on the phone a few times and started planning another meeting.

One day, while chatting about relationships, he told me he'd been in a relationship for many years. That completely caught me off guard. I read the message, and a few minutes later he added, "I hope everything's okay?" That only made me feel even worse.

After that, we talked less and less - sometimes only once every few weeks. He still wanted to meet me. He would tell me that nobody texted him, that he didn't really know anyone, and that he didn't even bother charging his phone because there was no point. He also asked me many times if I had a boyfriend or who I was with whenever I posted or sent photos.

At the end of May, I told him I'd had a dream where we finally met and were cooking together. He replied, "Sounds like it was a date haha." I told him it wasn't. A week or two later, I texted him again, but he didn't reply for more than a month - about five weeks.

Eventually, I realized I don't actually need him in my life. I was always there for him whenever he had problems. I even sent him a care package when he started a new job. Wished him happy birthday 2 times. He never did anything like that for me. At one point, he even insulted me by saying I was "weird" sometimes.

There's no point in continuing this. I regret nothing. I don't wish him any harm either. We've never really met either. Still, I'm not sure how to end it. What would you do if you were in my position?

"There is fear of pain and suffering, fear of living, fear of loving, fear of closeness, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of God, fear of hell, fear of damnation, fear of poverty, fear of ridicule and criticism, fear of being trapped (...) and fear of fear itself."

After reading this excerpt from the book "Letting Go", I had some thoughts.

I wonder if it makes sense to make a list for each level of consciousness and write down specific things/situations.

For example: SHAME What am I ashamed of? What triggers feelings of shame in me?

• the way I look,
• my sexuality,
• people's reactions to my behavior (when they laugh at me etc.),
• being single,
• etc. etc.

And we could take this even further. Example: why am I ashamed of the way I look? And this can lead us to, for example, memories. Perhaps someone said something bad to us, and it stuck with us. Then we can release that feeling too.

These are just examples, but what do you think about doing the same for guilt, fear, anger, etc. and then releasing those emotions? What do you guys think? Let me know! :)

A few days ago, I had the best day I’ve had in a very, very long time. I was out with my family, we were having a great time, visiting many places, and for the first time in years, I actually felt normal. I felt peaceful inside.

What surprised me the most was that, for years, I’ve had this constant negative voice in my head: intrusive thoughts, anxiety, endless mental noise and I’ve been fighting with it. But on that particular day, my mind was completely quiet. I felt genuine peace. I was able to choose my own thoughts. I didn’t feel anxiety or negative emotions. I just felt good.

Then, toward the end of the day, I suddenly became physically exhausted, and it continued for the next few days. I had almost no energy at all. Even moving my hands felt difficult. was wondering if I should call the hospital because even breathing was a challenge. I was so tired. Naturally, my mood dropped as well, but I never expected things would become this bad again.

Out of nowhere, I did a complete 180. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by horrible emotions, emptiness, despair, and a kind of anxiety and depression that’s impossible to describe. It feels like being dead inside, and every second feels unbearable, like torture. In those moments, it feels like it will never end. It's HELL. It can lasts hours, days or weeks.

That’s why I’m asking whether Bartonella or Mycoplasma can really cause symptoms like this.

I didn't know before that it could be caused by these infections, so I signed up for therapy, but honestly? I've done NOTHING wrong. I’m tired of pretending in therapy that maybe this is all caused by my thoughts, my mindset, or some external situation, because this happened so randomly and without any obvious trigger. Nothing bad happened. Everything was fine. And yet, within a matter of days, I went from feeling genuinely good to feeling like I was in hell.

I'm sorry, but I'll just NEVER get it. Last Saturday I truly felt like my old self. Even physical pain (muscles, joints) couldn't stop me. I just know that I CAN enjoy life. I CAN have my hobbies. I CAN love. I am CAPABLE of having a great life. And that’s exactly how I felt!

But then I was hit out of nowhere with that horrible depression and anxiety and everything collapsed. And the WORST part of it is that... it always feel like it will never end. That it’s permament. I just don't get it, I'm sorry...

If you guys also experience this, please, what helps you?!