u/Alexsgirlfriend64

Pretty much what the title says. I am completely ashamed. I graduated from undergrad in 2025 and wanted to take a year to figure out which career to really pursue. In that time I left my dream job (dance instructor/choreographer) as it was not financially possible to survive on (as you might imagine). I then became a paralegal and absolutely hated it. The two law firms I worked for absolutely crushed any idea of potentially pursuing law due to the treatment I received by bosses and also clients.

As an English lit major, I then considered the library route. I applied for a program and to my excitement- got in! However, I got in on the condition of making all A’s my first semester due to my undergraduate GPA.

In undergrad I dealt with a lot of mental health things, as well as some personal things —- and overall experienced burn out big time. I thought I was mentally ready enough to go back to school (online program)… I wasn’t. The first month started strong, all assignments turned in on time- all A’s. But then I transitioned out of my paralegal role (I wasn’t fired/ didn’t quit, it was a temporary position for someone on maternity leave) and things went downhill.

Losing the security of a job and income caused me to put job searching first. On top of that, I get married in June and it has been completely on me to plan this wedding. It doesn’t help that I have a tendency to think everyone is mad at me. My anxiety makes me absolutely shut down and/or disappear when I’ve done something wrong. After missing just a couple assignments that could have been easily made up— I just quit. I haven’t opened a single email because I know what they will say. It’s terrible. It also doesn’t help that I haven’t been successful in getting a job. At all. Even at libraries for entry level positions with my enrollment in an MLIS program. I have strong recommendations and a pretty okay resume, besides the meh undergrad GPA.

I’ve now ruined any chance at transferring to a different program within the school or even getting to try again a different semester. I did attempt to speak to my advisor and he just sent me resources for food, which I absolutely appreciate. I am just so mad at myself. Not posting for pity or even really advice— just don’t be like me. If you feel yourself falling behind— say something!!

EDIT: you’re all really kind. Thank you for the encouragement and advice , it actually helps more than you know.

I (F23) and my Fiancé (M29) have been happily dating/engaged for 4 years. Our wedding is in June. This man is my best friend. Truly, he is the easiest person to be around and makes me feel the safest. In our highs, he’s my soulmate. But sometimes, he flips a switch and is so cold and selfish and it’s so confusing.
For example. My family and I have planned and payed for the entire upcoming wedding. His parents are not really in his life right now and I completely support keeping no contact. But because of this, we have to pay for everything. The two of us are recent graduates making our way into the professional world so we cannot contribute much. I fear that part of his attitude may be embarrassment at our own financial situation. (If that’s the case, I would love for him to just say that as I do understand.) However asking him to do anything has been like pulling teeth.
He has been very outspoken that he would be fine going to the courthouse and calling it a day. I have assured him that while I understand, my dream is my wedding day. I am one of those girls who’s had her Pinterest board since she was 6 and loves say yes to the dress. I am not asking for a lot, I swear. I have been so laid back I’m about to damn fall down.
His grandmother (the sweetest woman in the world) helped cover the cost of suit rentals to pitch in. You can’t alter a rental suit. My dad, while purchasing his suit, was told (same franchise) that there’s no way they took my fiancé’s measurements down right and that it won’t fit. We thought it was ok because my parents wanted to gift him a suit (that he was advised on and okayed! Not a surprise) and we would give his grandmother the money back. This has been communicated. The plus is, that suit could be altered! Yay!
For even more context, he works in law. He loves wearing suits and how they make him feel. So the fact that he keeps saying he’s “too tired” to go try on his suit (rental or bought the situation would be almost the same) is so frustrating. The wedding is in 3 weeks and the one task he’s been given is to 1) try on and 2) pick up his suit. That is it. Never mind the fact that he has a multi state bachelor trip planned and mine is a one day , 2 days before the wedding, chill at the house thing. He has put more into that anything else. Who knows where the money is coming for that.
He keeps saying he will “get to it” and that he’s just “tired”. There’s 0 urgency. It’s like he doesn’t care or give a damn. I’ve seen him worry over his appearance more for court than this wedding. It’s really baffling. It’s also hard trying to beg for someone to care about something so small. It makes me feel crazy. He keeps blaming the “experience” he had trying on suits. ( 5pm at men’s wearhouse does get busy! And a few of the suits he tried were a little big) but I have literally been in underwear and nothing else in front of strangers in dresses 10 sizes too small at all of my bridal appointments while being critiqued by lots of women haha. So…. I don’t really empathize.

For his perspective and additional context, he may blame the fact that I have been unemployed since February. But I have made rent every month, contributed to groceries, and other everyday expenses as to not be a burden financially. The only thing he has had to shoulder is some of the bills which amount to around $150 a month. I have been actively looking for and interviewing for jobs but we know how the job market is. I have also been in grad school and planning this wedding. I have been out of town for a week and a half for my two dress fittings and stayed longer than expected. When I called to remind him about the suit (again) and the timeline, he crashed out because “he needs to clean the apartment, take care of pets, AND go to work.”….. I will literally be back in a couple days. I just feel like I’m asking for SO LITTLE from someone who on any other day would hang the moon for me!!!!!!!!!!! It’s so weird !!!!!)!)! Like wtf!!!!!! I love this man but go get try on your damn suit and care just slightly more please !!!!!

EDIT: thank you everyone for your advice. It’s just so confusing because this man flew me out to Brazil (where he’s from) and proposed in a library because of my love of reading. I told him I wanted to wait until after I graduated from college (which we were both in) and he did it a little early. This engagement was in no way put into motion by me lmao. He has mentioned tenfold how excited he is to marry me, literally everyday. So to not want to do something as simple as try on a suit is crazy when he’s out in so much effort when it comes to the engagement. We were also long distance prior and he would drive up every weekend to see me despite working full time… so the effort was there too. Maybe it is just cold feet.

ALSO for the one comment calling me the AH, I also worked in a law firm in the exact same role as my fiancé so I am just as much in the “professional world” as he, albeit younger. Just looking for a better position.