u/Alismata2005

Was that the royal Air force? Im in the city center. It was really loud

Hey guys I'm 21F. I had casual sex as my first time having sex. Yes. I don't know what to think or feel. I told the guy this is the first and last time I'm doing it.

He is younger than me, but he has such a warm smile, is sweet, kind, and when we are in bed he touches me in the right places and there's so much kissing. I'm so attracted to his body, personality, and he goes lengths to make sure I'm okay while he laid with me

I regret that that was my first time, not the act itself. I feel like I'm kinda in love with him even though I've only known him for a week.

Like idk am I just used goods now or what. I've never been in a romantic physical relationship but I think along the way I got sexually frustrated and now some of that tension is gone. Like before this fling, I've done essentially nothing

I can't believe that was my first time, I always thought I'd save it for the "right guy" in a relationship but yea

Guilt is eating me up

Edit: it didn't even happen the way I wanted it to. He misunderstood what I said (I was hesitant and about to say no to sex) then he gently thrusted into me and I was like okay too late to back away from this now.... so we had sex

So I met this guy while I was in this vintage book store, it was our 2nd time bumping into each other. He strikes a convo and asked me out for drinks. We hit it off, very rare for a virgin like me, and for the first time in my life I brought him home into my apartment and we made out.

I blurted out that I don't do casual sex, I'm a virgin, I haven't kissed in a very long time. I blurted out that I am quite touch deprived, before the make out prolonged. He was like shh that's okay I am not going to have sex with you. After the make out, he left, said he had class early. He texted me minutes after he left, and texted me goodnight and throughout the next day.

Okay cool. Then we met up again another night and we almost had sex. I told him no sex, so we made out naked and he humped me, ate me out and fingered me. He was so soft to me. He said he really liked me during the entire thing, calling me a sweetheart. He would kiss my forehead, pause to ask me if it was good enough, asked me whatever I wanted he would give because it was my first time ever getting sexual. He was eager to please me, said I was gorgeous and a sweetheart, would pause to look at my face, so on.

After that, we slept, and we slept with our chests facing each other and he dragged me much closer to him and called me a sweetheart, again, kissing my forehead. We slept entangled. We woke up, he kissed my forehead and smiled. He asked if I enjoyed it.

But after he got up, he was like you're not really a virgin right? in a joking way. He asked who else I slept with in my life. I was like just you. I became a bit emotionally flat because I was anxious. Then his demeanor changed. He got a bit cold, a bit emotionally disconnected. He said I was acting non chalant and asked if I was upset. I dismissed him and said I don't know why you don't believe me.

Then he said I gotta be safe you know (about me potentially lying being a virgin), but when I said I swore that I am, he brushed it off and said hmmm. He got a bit rude at the end. Then he apologised because he said he just wanted to prolong his stay, then kissed my forehead before he walked out, and texted me a few minutes after saying it was lovely to stay over.

I don't know what to feel. I feel angry because THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME BEING IN BED WITH A MAN EVEN IF NO ACTUAL SEX OCCURRED. I'm scared he might've used me. His body count is like 6 and mine is ZERO.

TLDR: Guy was very sweet with me before and during getting sexual and believed that I was a virgin when we were sexual. But after he got out of bed, he got cold and insinuated that I was possibly not a virgin. He said he was trying to be safe. I am upset.

I am currently doing a biomed degree, i have no driving license, never even had a job. I moved to a foreign country that i dont really belong in (my dad's country) and now I have no idea what i am going to do with my life.

i went to cooking school, did not like it. learnt other languages, decided i didnt want to be a translator. i spent time travelling the world and now i am going on an exchange year in the US. feels like no place on earth is truly satisfying.

my father is wealthy and smart but i do not have his brains or drive. i have a chronic illness that gives me relentless brain fog. i used to be really smart, i guess. i feel really inferior, i dont understand why. i dont have much confidence, and little to no actual friends. ive never had an actual boyfriend. the only advantage i have is my father's money and willingness to support me. i feel like i will disappoint him in the end.

i lost citizenship to home country, which is probably where i should have stayed close to. my family doesnt call me much.

i thought i wanted to be a psychotherapist, but not sure if i have the guts or ability . ive been told im a good listener, i guess.

i feel like im nothing.