r/youngadults

I’m home for the summer from college and I’m really just realizing how stupid I actually am. And I really look up to my professors and how knowledgeable they are. I aspire to be like them.

As far as critical thinking, I think I’m pretty average. I’ve been fooled by a couple Internet things that I didn’t even stop to question. It’s very embarrassing, but it just makes me feel really dumb.

I am very good at following explicit directions, but I fail at the implicit. I was asked to help lift a box with a bunch of parts in it. There were multiple adults (30+) present And I was told to make sure the parts don’t fall out so I grabbed the bottom where the parts were but then someone else told me not to do that so I was really confused on what to do and they kept saying my name instead of instructing me I want to do. I ended up just standing back and not doing anything because I was really confused on what they were trying to get me do to.

Academically I am also average. Maybe even below. I have a horrible memory, so I do not do well in classes that are based on memorization (which is a lot of of them). And I do ask for help, but sometimes I leave even more confused. And I know part of being human is being confused sometimes, but I feel like it happens for me a lot more than it does for other people?

Interpersonally, I struggle with navigating situations. I’m very gullible and when someone puts up a nice front, I believe that they are a nice person. For example, with men, I believe them when they act like they care about what I have to say when in reality, they were actually just trying to sleep with me. Or when people act like they like you, and want to be your friend and then ghost. And sometimes I just feel really dense for not understanding certain social structures. I think some of them are ridiculous. I’m gullible but at the same time though I feel like I’m not trusting enough to form bonds? I know it sounds very contradictory, but I don’t know how to fully explain it. And don’t even get me started on dating.

Artistically (I believe that’s a kind of intelligence) I feel like that is the only aspect that I exceed in. I understand composition. I understand color theory I have great craftsmanship, I can sell myself. Unfortunately, though art will not pay the bills so I need to get better at other things as well.

I feel like all these different kinds of intelligences come together to aid in traversing through life in a capitalistic evil society. I just feel like I’m not intelligent in the ways that matter. And if any of you have any tips on this or if you feel this way and have some advice that would be nice to hear.

So I’m a 19F and I’m about to move into my first apartment with 3 roommates, and I’m a little nervous. I’m worried that I won’t be able to find a good enough job to pay all of my bills.

I think it’s sad that this is an actual dream of mine, but I want to be able to pay my bills while also not be working my ass off everyday of the week and also be able to have money left over to spend on myself, though I know that isn’t realistic rn.

I do also attend community college that is being paid for with grants, so that isn’t a concern money-wise.

So, 18-20 year olds that are living on your own, how are you making a living? Do you live comfortably? Are you happy with your work? Was it hard to get your job?

Hi guys! My sister 18f is going to university in September. She moves away from home. I want to make her a gift that will make her life easier. I didnt have to move away for my studies so I really have no idea what she would need. She’s my little bestie so I want to spoil her

Thanks in advance!!🫶🏻

I'm 20 and currently in university studying science. I have a plan for after I graduate, I work part-time during the summer, have a good amount of savings, and I can cook, clean, and generally take care of myself.
My parents still help me with tuition and rent, though, and I feel like I haven't experienced a lot of the "real adult" responsibilities yet, like dealing with insurance, car payments, mortgages, taxes, or other financial responsibilities. When I have days off, I honestly just stay home watching anime or movies, and sometimes I feel like I'm still a teenager rather than an adult.
University has taught me a lot, and I know l've grown as a person, but at the same time it feels like there's still so much I don't know. It makes me anxious thinking about the future because I wonder if I'll ever feel like I know enough. And will I ever be prepared for the real world because right now I know I'm not fully and adult cuz I have my parents backbone.

It’s really hard for me to trust someone and also sometimes it feels like draining to date, among all the guys , I liked one of my friends who had a crush on me since highschool but at that time I was depressed so I turned down his proposal and also we were not in contact for almost a year and now he’s already in a relationship…I mean this fear of attachment just makes it hard for me to date anyone

My family decided to go on vacation, my parents and my brother. They’re going somewhere that I have zero interest in going to, plus my dad has basically destroyed our relationship and I can’t keep pretending like this is okay.

I was struggling with addiction in silence, and less than a year ago my dad caught me having a seizure and I was overdosing and dying. I was so messed up that I could barely speak. I blacked out and when I came to, he was screaming at me and interrogating me. I tried to tell him that I was having trouble talking and that he was scaring me. He told me he didn’t care and started to threaten me, he tore my room apart in front of me to look for anything I’d been hiding, which I wasn’t hiding anything except for some personal items I’d rather him not find.

He didn’t put my room back into place and told me that I’m no longer allowed to order packages, he said he is taking my door off of my room, and said I’m not allowed to be alone at all.

The whole thing lasted for an hour, just him yelling and threatening me. He never apologized for it, and acts like everything is okay. He is a hypocrite because he is an addict as well but apparently only his addiction is allowed in this household. I obviously feel terrible that he found me like that, but never once did he ask me if I was doing okay after that, or tried to see if I needed help, he only cared about catching me in the act.

So of course I don’t want to go on a vacation with him. I’ve been avoiding him since this has happened, the way I still get nightmares about that night and the trauma it caused me, our relationship is basically gone and if he doesn’t apologize to me, I won’t be speaking to him again when I move out.

I 18M has never had a gf before and I am only now starting to take dating more seriously should I focus on my body and getting into a good career before I look for a girlfriend.

Ignore typo please, so basically I am doing ACCA along with my graduation and a full time job, ACCA and bcom is online and there is no female at my workplace, never had a female interaction because my high school was boys only, I have been focusing on my career a lot lately and I am having FOMO of not dating anyone, should I be dating someone or pass my learning phase and get a high paying job first or should I date someone?

I’m 25 and honestly feel stuck.

I still live with my parents, I’m living paycheck to paycheck, and I don’t have much of a social life. I have friends, but I don’t have a friend group. I feel like I’m the side friend to most people. Everyone seems to have their people, their plans, their trips, and their traditions while I’m just kind of watching from the outside.

It’s the 4th of July and I have absolutely no plans. I know it’s just a holiday, but it’s hitting me hard. Seeing everyone posting barbecues, lake days, vacations, and parties makes me feel like everyone else has a life except me.

I’ve tried to put myself out there. I used Bumble BFF, but I usually end up getting ghosted after a few hangouts. I joined a Bible study and went for months hoping to build friendships, but most of the girls were already very close. A lot of conversations revolved around trips and plans they all did together. Some things that were said about the Catholic Church also really turned me off, and eventually I stopped going.

What’s hard is that I used to have a larger friend group. I walked away because it was incredibly toxic. There was constant drama, gossip, people talking badly about each other behind their backs, and even getting with each other’s exes. I don’t regret leaving because it wasn’t healthy, but sometimes I see them all still hanging out and doing fun things and I wonder if I made a mistake, even though I know deep down I didn’t.

I spend a lot of my free time in bed. I bed rot more than I’d like to admit. I smoke weed because it helps numb some of the sadness for a little while. I have good days, but if I’m honest, most days are bad. I go to work, come home, get in bed, scroll, smoke, sleep, and repeat.

I’ve struggled with depression for a long time. I’m on Wellbutrin and don’t feel like it’s helping much. I’ve prayed, journaled, tried self-help stuff, tried putting myself out there, tried focusing on gratitude, and I’m still struggling.

The hardest thing lately is that my sister was recently diagnosed with a life-altering disease. Watching someone I love go through that has been heartbreaking, and I feel like I’ve been grieving the future I thought she would have. I don’t think I’ve fully processed it.

Part of me feels guilty for feeling depressed because I know I have things to be grateful for. I have my health. I have a roof over my head. I have a car. I have parents who let me live with them. There are people dealing with far worse.

But despite all of that, I feel lonely, stuck, and hopeless a lot of the time.

I want a life I love. I want close friends. I want purpose. I want to eventually live on my own. I want to wake up excited about my future instead of dreading it.

Has anyone else been in this place and actually gotten out of it? If so, what changed? Is there hope when you’ve felt this way for years?

Am I missing out if I’ve never been to a proper college party? Currently going into my junior year and haven’t explored that part of college life at all! Sure I’ve been to birthday parties or potlucks but they all have been dry and have had maybe 5-10 people max. I’ve been invited to drink with a couple people in small settings, like 3-5 people, but I don’t trust people enough to drink with them. Plus I don’t have any close friends and don’t look like the average college student, which kind of contributes to this situation. Any thoughts are appreciated! Thanks!! :)

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. Any insight and opinions would be helpful.

I'm in my second-last year of secondary school (high school?) and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I can't imagine working a job and whenever I think about it I'm terrified of doing the same thing 5 days a week for the rest of my life. I get good grades, and according to my last set of exams I could get 590 points in my Leaving Cert which is pretty good. but I have no clue what to do. I love art more than anything but I want to be able to afford food. my best subjects are Biology and DCG (design and communication graphics/ technical drawing). I'd rather die than be a teacher (spending the rest of my life in a secondary school). I am generally talentless and I have no skills or experience. any ideas??? What should I do with my life? Also I'm ugly so i can't even be a successful prostitute

i (22F) am back from college postgrad and am living with my strict muslim parents again. i have never really been allowed to go to sleepovers, but my friends are having a sleepover this saturday and i really want to go. honestly im at the point where i just am gonna go no matter what, but how do i avoid this becoming an entire shitshow? if you have desi parents… you get it…