u/Altruistic-Gas-6685

Im 17, from switzerland, recently came out to some friends, not family. I want a boyfriend, but don't know where to look. I've had crushes on guys but I never know of they're gay (I'm also very straight looking, I don't really fit the stereotype of gays). I don't really resonate much with the loud lgbt spaces as I don't care much for protests and dislike loud spaces or parties (including gay bars). Are there any lowkey places (preferably in switzerland) for gays? Like a cafe or something? I also like to do tennis and go to the gym.

I am 17 years old, from switzerland. I've lived in a rural area all my life. From the outside everything looks normal. I play tennis and go to the gym, so I look very confident (athletic, muscular (at least a bit)).

I am an only child, typical family. My dad is pretty absent and my mother overly involved. Dad couldn't care less for tennis and my mom was the one who got me into it. I still play tennis very often. I remember sometimes wanting to do stuff with friends as a kid on the weekend but having to go to tournaments instead, where if I lost I would get screamed at on the car ride home. This probably sparked my fear of never being enough to anyone. Our house is also not very clean (not hogger type, but just dusty) because my mother never cleans or does chores. My father had to do them, and he got tired of it (fair enough). I tried to do a cleaning plan but my mother hasnt done her part for 2 months... My parents smoke inside so I got bullied for stinking. They also never taught me to brush my teeth or shower, all of which I had to learn after losing friends at school and getting bullied. Now I look good - but what now? I hate my personality. I wish I had more friends. Oh and I recently realized I'm likely gay, and my father would not like that (not like he cares much about me anyway, but thats the cherry on top). My tennis trainer has been more of a father than he has...

I really don't want this to be the rest of my life. I just want to be loved. I want a nice family and a cute husband to lay around with and to have a functioning family. Does it get better? And how do I fix myself? I always need to fix it myself, nobody will save me. I just want to know how.

For context, I am 17 years old turning 18, living in a rural canton in switzerland. I just came out to some friends after not wanting to be gay for a really long time (used to be christian, though I joined and left the religion voluntarily so for me it was easy at least) and it felt amazing. I am pretty masculine so people don't really think I am gay (I do a lot of sports and hobbies that are associated with being straight). There's this boy in my class that I really like who's also muscular, exactly my type, blond and everything. Like me he has mostly male friends but also hits the gym, but he doesn't have a girlfriend even though he's super attractive. He makes gay jokes regularly (hinted at grindr for example) and is generally not opposed to lgbt topics imo. In english I was really tired while he was holding a presentation and he told me "I was staring at you the entire time, I noticed you were really tired" (along those lines). To finish off this year we went to a bar with our class and we drunk some alcohol together (usually I dont drink but he made me want to lol). He asked me if I wanted to come to the toilet with him (maybe so hes not alone??) which I thought was odd? Should I ask him out or maybe ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me? We used to not be on very good terms but we both grew a lot. I'm just scared that if he's not gay he will tell the entire school, which I would prefer to avoid as this is something which I want to be private, reserved for close friends.