u/Altruistic-Net-1814

They gave me one final conversation.

I chose you.

You tried to fill the silence.
Every story, 
Every memory,
Every word,
Everything suddenly mattered.

You talked,
I responded.
You asked,
I answered.
You chirped,
I sang.
You cried,
I cried.

But eventually,
there was nothing left.

“Mom, I’m tired. I love you.”

As the title suggests, I am a software developer and I have made a drill design software. I am looking for a bunch of testers to use the software and do whatever with it. It is free, and I intend on keeping it that way, forever. Please send me a DM or write a comment and I'll DM you if you would like to test it. :)

https://preview.redd.it/589c5ptkn4dh1.png?width=843&format=png&auto=webp&s=afef2d4f35385dba56c14b1f792f49d3d8c70952

As the title suggests, I am a software developer and I have made a drill design software. I am looking for a bunch of testers to use the software and do whatever with it. It is free, and I intend on keeping it that way, forever. Please send me a DM or write a comment and I'll DM you if you would like to test it. :)

https://preview.redd.it/hm293no6n4dh1.png?width=843&format=png&auto=webp&s=b578bbdb4be491951e20bfe2953a51f8098dcc0e

Yknow what’s weird?

I love everything that I get to do in my life.
I love my friends,
I love my family,
I love music,
I love it all.

But, even with all of that, I don’t know if I want to wake up and do it all again the next day. Specifically the hardest part, getting up. It takes me multiple hours just to get myself out of bed unless someone makes me get up or there is a deadline.

No matter what medication I take or how many, nothing gets rid of the mental exhaustion that comes from just me trying to be myself on a day to day basis. (Bipolar Disorder)

It feels dramatic, and it probably is. But, for some reason things that are seemingly easy to everyone else feels like I’m trying to lift a boulder and carry it for miles and every day it gets slightly heavier.

And I don’t really want to ask anyone for help, they have their own stuff going on and I don’t want my weight added to theirs. And I want to see them happy, so I try to help them as much as I can. Because, I love them, and seeing them happy and less stressed makes me happy. (Crazy what someone I used to be super close with telling me “your emotions stress me out” will do to you)

I’m tired, but I like being tired because I know what my efforts will lead too. But in the moment it sucks, and it’s going to suck for a long time, and it feels like it’s going to suck forever. Apart of me (most) just wants to just give up and rot here.

It’s weird.

I am a relatively beginner low brass player, I’ve been playing trombone for around 1 year and was completely self taught so I ended up picking up some pretty terrible habits. I finally was given direction after seeking it forever which helped dramatically but now I’m stuck and don’t know what to work on. I picked up baritone too since that’s what is marched and I got pretty good with finger dexterity (my 8 years on flute seemed to help out with this lol) however it feels like my playing is super inconsistent. Some days I’m pretty good and other days I’m really really bad, but I don’t understand or recognize the difference between those days. I went to an audition camp for crossmen and their brass instructor helped me alot as he saw me struggling and trying to desperately hang on with everyone else however like I said before I’m just kind of stuck now. I’m working on fundamentals every day (long tones slow, lip slurs, double/ triple tonguing, etudes, etc.) but I’m seeing no improvement and I can’t afford to get a private lessons teacher. Any advice?

So I got back into chess recently and I’m trying to climb back up the rating later, I played this game just now after playing only bots for awhile (idk why playing chess against real people is scary) and I’ve never played a game genuinely this horrible… 55% accuracy as black and I won 💀😭

https://www.chess.com/game/live/167956856622