u/Ambitious_Aide3272

i’m actually looking for advice, but i’m also looking to vent because i really can’t see if this person is doing it intentionally or without noticing.

i have a friend that is very good to me, buys me things and pays for me they’re very generous with me and they love to spend time with me, very supportive, but they sure do talk about themselves a lot and at first i was like “maybe that’s just how they are idk” until my birthday came up.

i was telling them on the phone about how my birthday was coming up and i didn’t know what i wanted to do yet, then they start talking about how they’re planning to have a house party and it was a week before my birthday. it just seemed like they weren’t really interested in talking about my birthday which was pretty irritating. a lot of stuff happened with my birthday and them not being able to come so i did bring it up to them straight up and they did understand and apologized and felt bad and they really explained themselves in how they felt that they haven’t been a good friend or whatever. they were already planning to get me a gift a long while back.

there was a time when i got a grant to recieve a passport from my school which i was very happy about and then they say “when i was little my parents just handed me a passport and i was like oh okay” like what was the point of that? what was the goal in saying something like that in response?? i laughed at her and let it go

going back to the birthday thing, they’ve already planned their birthday party and everything and my birthday is still very close, i may be in the wrong to feel this way but i just think that’s kinda rude because it makes me feel like they’re trying to gloss over my birthday just to get to theirs.

what really got me was when we used to voice message and i found out that most of my voice messages i was sending back they wouldn’t even listen to. i decided to test them because when i brought up what i talked about in my voice messages, they seemed confused but tried their best to act like they knew what i was talking about, so i just kept bringing them up to see if they would fold under pressure and just be fucking honest. i straight up asked them and they said “oh uhh i haven’t had the chance to listen to them yet” and i was pissed as shit. because i listen to theirs all the time.

its like every conversation we have always turns back to them and trust when i say that i dont mind having conversations where im the listener but i dont want to be a listener all the time.

after that, i kinda started to ignore their phone calls and take time to respond to their messages because i don’t want to constantly listen and not even be listened to half of the time. i think they’ve gotten the hint and even break their conversations and say “omg okay i want to hear about your etc etc, gotta stop talking about myself”

i’ve always wondered if there’s something they have mentally but they either aren’t aware or they’re ashamed to talk about it because there’s no way that any person would just act like this? are they aware and do they consciously do this or are they just- oblivious?? they’re also way too trusting of people for some reason. its like they try to self reflect and they have no issues on working on themselves and taking blame for things they did, but even after bringing up my birthday situation and they honestly felt bad and all that stuff, they went right back to talking about their birthday and just making it about them. it makes me think they just can’t control something.

hi all! i just finished music school for the semester. just a little background information, i study music production and am an independent artist. i just finished recording an album and i had a lot of shows outside of my school’s location (up to 2 hours max going back a fourth) all during finals week. it was all worth it because i made connections and whatnot, and i finished my semester pretty strong, but it wasn’t easy.

i feel so tired physically and mentally, but not creatively. i’ve been getting a lot of offers to perform about an hour away (near my school) and they all seem to fall this month. i just got back home and moved back for the summer, but im already getting people inviting me to networking parties and whatnot. i want to go, but a part of me doesn’t because im very tired. tired from driving and just committing if that makes sense?

i was doing some reflecting and realized that i havent really taken any breaks for a long time. i’m very consistent with social media and im worried that if i take a break, then everything ive worked so hard for will disappear (algorithm stuff) or people will forget about me. i have an album set to release very soon and it almost feels good because im letting a project go, making room for my newer ideas to take place.

im in a very weird state of not wanting to talk to people right now but i just want to create because i feel so inspired to produce and song-write, almost retreat and take a small break. ive been going at it with music especially with this album and performing and i didn’t realize how burnt out i was feeling because usually it always starts with not wanting to create, but this time, its the opposite.

has anyone ever felt gaslit by themselves into not wanting to take a break because you’re scared you’ll be missing out on opportunities or being in the space at the right time, but i’m just so tired, i even looked at pictures of myself and i noticed that i look a bit exhausted.

overall, id just love to let this album release and lock myself in my room at night and make new stuff, and hang out with my family and not go anywhere lol

how do you approach this feeling as a musician? what are some ways that you take the necessary rest you need as a creative?

whenever i suspect that someone is trying me in any type of way, i immediately get aggressive and defensive as a safety net.