u/Ambivert_Guy_28

Hi everyone,

I’m writing this because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t have many people I can talk to about this, so I’m hoping strangers on Reddit can give me an honest perspective. Please don’t sugarcoat things if you think I’m wrong. I just want the truth.

Around four years ago, during my first semester of college, I saw this girl for the first time in one of our lab sessions. I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt something instantly. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything dramatic, but she stood out to me in a way no one else ever had.

We were standing near each other during the experiment. I was shy, quiet, and honestly had no confidence. Another guy came over, asked me to move aside because he wanted space, and I simply stepped back without saying anything. He immediately started talking to her, made her laugh, and by the end of the lab they had exchanged contact information.

I remember walking back that day feeling like I had already lost before I had even tried.

Looking back, I know that sounds irrational because she never rejected me—I never even spoke to her properly. But that moment stuck with me for years.

As time went on, those two eventually got into a relationship. They broke up, got back together, broke up again, and this happened multiple times over the years. At one point they even traveled together. Every time I thought about that, I’d get this horrible feeling in my chest. I’d imagine them making memories together, and my mind would fill in every painful detail. I know I don’t actually know what happened, but my imagination always goes to the worst possible place.

I’ve spent four years comparing myself to that guy.

During those four years I never confessed my feelings. I never tried to become close to her. I just kept hoping that maybe one day life would somehow bring us together.

Recently, something unexpected happened.

I posted a movie scene on my Instagram story. She replied to it, joking that everyone was spoiling the movie. That was the first real conversation we’d had in a long time. Later she asked if I could help her with something related to her academic work by sharing it with people I knew.

I shared it with my friends, filled it out myself, and even suggested another place where she could reach more people. She thanked me several times, said it meant a lot, reacted warmly to my messages, and the conversation ended on a positive note.

That interaction has completely messed with my head.

For the last three days I’ve been thinking about messaging her again, but I stop myself every time.

My brain keeps telling me things like:
“She’ll think you’re creepy.”
“She’ll wonder why you’re messaging her.”
“You’re not attractive enough.”
“She was only being nice because she needed help.”

At the same time, another part of me thinks maybe I’m overthinking everything.

I honestly don’t know anymore.

Something else that makes this difficult is that I don’t even know if I like the real person or the version of her I’ve built in my head over the last four years. I’ve imagined so many conversations and possibilities that sometimes I don’t know where reality ends and imagination begins.

I also struggle with jealousy.

Whenever I remember her previous relationship, especially knowing they spent so much time together, I feel angry and sad even though I know I have no right to. They were together before I was ever part of her life. She didn’t do anything wrong. Yet those thoughts still hurt me.

Sometimes I even question whether I’m a good person because of how jealous I feel.

Another thing that’s always been in the back of my mind is that I genuinely thought college would be where I’d finally experience love for the first time. Instead, I’ve spent almost my entire college life holding onto feelings for someone who probably has no idea how much space she’s occupied in my mind.

I’ve thought about forgetting her completely many times.

I’ve also thought about talking to her more and maybe confessing my feelings by the end of this year—not to pressure her into anything, but because I feel like I need closure. Living in uncertainty for four years has been exhausting.

So I guess these are my questions:
Am I just idealizing someone I’ve barely gotten to know?
Is it worth trying to build a genuine friendship before saying anything?
Should I let this go completely?
If you were in my position, what would you do?
Has anyone else held onto feelings for someone for years and eventually found closure?

I’m open to hearing opinions, even if they’re difficult to hear. I just don’t want to spend another four years wondering “what if.”

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate any advice.

TL;DR: I’ve had a crush on the same classmate for 4 years. We barely talked until recently when she replied to my story and later asked for help with an academic survey. Now I’m wondering whether I should slowly get to know her, confess later this year for closure, or finally move on. I’m also struggling with jealousy over her past relationship and would appreciate honest advice.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 22M, and she’s a 22F. We’ve known each other through college for about four years, but we’ve never been in a relationship.

I’m writing this because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this, so I’m hoping strangers on Reddit can give me an honest perspective. Please don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. I’d rather hear the truth.

About four years ago, during my first semester of college, I saw her for the first time in one of our lab sessions. I know this sounds cliché, but something about her immediately caught my attention. I had never felt that way about anyone before.

During that same lab, another classmate confidently started talking to her while I just stood there. I was shy, quiet, and lacked confidence back then. By the end of that day, they had exchanged contact information.

I remember going home feeling strangely heartbroken, even though nothing had actually happened between me and her. Looking back, I know it sounds irrational because she never rejected me—I never even gave myself a chance.

Over time, they started dating. Their relationship lasted for years, although it was very on and off. They broke up, got back together multiple times, and eventually even traveled abroad together. Every time I think about that, I become incredibly jealous. My mind starts imagining them making memories together and sharing experiences I always wished I could have had with her.

I know those thoughts aren’t healthy because I wasn’t part of her life. She had every right to date whoever she wanted. But I still can’t stop thinking about it.
Throughout these four years, I never confessed my feelings. I never really tried to get close to her either. I just kept hoping that maybe someday life would somehow bring us together.

Recently, something unexpected happened.

I posted a movie scene on my Instagram story, and she replied to it saying everyone was spoiling the movie. That turned into our first real conversation in a long time.

During that conversation, she asked if I could help her by filling out a survey for her academic work and share it with people I knew because she was struggling to get enough responses.

I filled it out immediately, shared it with my friends, and even suggested another place where she might get more responses. She thanked me several times, said it meant a lot to her, reacted warmly to my messages, and even said she owed me one. Before the conversation ended, I asked whether it was part of her thesis or just a research paper, and she told me it was for a research paper.

That was the last time we talked.

It’s only been a few days, but I’ve been thinking about messaging her again.

At the same time, my brain immediately starts telling me things like:
She’ll think I’m creepy.
She’ll think I’m texting her for no reason.
She was only nice because she needed help.
I’m reading too much into one conversation.

I honestly don’t know what’s real anymore and what’s just anxiety.

Another thing I’ve realized is that I don’t even know if I like the real person anymore or the version of her that I’ve built in my head over the last four years. I’ve imagined so many different scenarios that I sometimes can’t tell where reality ends and fantasy begins.

I also struggle with jealousy.

Whenever I remember her previous relationship, I become angry and sad, even though I know I have absolutely no right to feel that way. She didn’t do anything wrong. She lived her life. Yet I still compare myself to the guy she dated, and I hate that I do it.
Sometimes I even question whether I’m a good person because of how jealous I feel.

I know that’s probably an unhealthy way of thinking, but it’s something I’ve struggled with ever since.
I genuinely thought that once I got into college, I’d finally experience love for the first time. Instead, I’ve spent almost my entire college life quietly holding onto feelings for someone who probably has no idea how much space she’s occupied in my mind.

I’ve tried convincing myself to move on many times over these four years.

Part of me wants to let it go completely.

Another part of me wants to slowly get to know her over the next few months and maybe tell her how I feel by the end of the year—not because I expect her to suddenly fall in love with me, but because I feel like I need closure.

Living in uncertainty for four years has honestly been exhausting.

So I guess I’m asking people who have no emotional attachment to my situation:
If you were in my position, what would you do?
Would you slowly try to build a genuine connection and eventually tell her how you feel?
Or would you accept that I’ve probably idealized someone I barely know and finally move on?

I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially if you’ve gone through something similar.
Thank you for reading.

TL;DR
22M. I’ve had feelings for the same classmate (22F) for four years but never told her because I was shy. She dated someone else on and off during that time, and I’ve struggled with jealousy and comparing myself to him ever since. We recently had a genuinely positive conversation after she replied to my Instagram story and asked for help with her academic work. Now I’m wondering whether I should slowly get to know her and eventually tell her how I feel for closure, or finally let go after four years. I genuinely want honest advice.

Hi everyone,
I’m writing this because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t have many people I can talk to about this, so I’m hoping strangers on Reddit can give me an honest perspective. Please don’t sugarcoat things if you think I’m wrong. I just want the truth.
Around four years ago, during my first semester of college, I saw this girl for the first time in one of our lab sessions. I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt something instantly. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything dramatic, but she stood out to me in a way no one else ever had.
We were standing near each other during the experiment. I was shy, quiet, and honestly had no confidence. Another guy came over, asked me to move aside because he wanted space, and I simply stepped back without saying anything. He immediately started talking to her, made her laugh, and by the end of the lab they had exchanged contact information.
I remember walking back that day feeling like I had already lost before I had even tried.
Looking back, I know that sounds irrational because she never rejected me—I never even spoke to her properly. But that moment stuck with me for years.
As time went on, those two eventually got into a relationship. They broke up, got back together, broke up again, and this happened multiple times over the years. At one point they even traveled together. Every time I thought about that, I’d get this horrible feeling in my chest. I’d imagine them making memories together, and my mind would fill in every painful detail. I know I don’t actually know what happened, but my imagination always goes to the worst possible place.
I’ve spent four years comparing myself to that guy.
During those four years I never confessed my feelings. I never tried to become close to her. I just kept hoping that maybe one day life would somehow bring us together.
Recently, something unexpected happened.
I posted a movie scene on my Instagram story. She replied to it, joking that everyone was spoiling the movie. That was the first real conversation we’d had in a long time. Later she asked if I could help her with something related to her academic work by sharing it with people I knew.
I shared it with my friends, filled it out myself, and even suggested another place where she could reach more people. She thanked me several times, said it meant a lot, reacted warmly to my messages, and the conversation ended on a positive note.
That interaction has completely messed with my head.
For the last three days I’ve been thinking about messaging her again, but I stop myself every time.
My brain keeps telling me things like:
“She’ll think you’re creepy.”
“She’ll wonder why you’re messaging her.”
“You’re not attractive enough.”
“She was only being nice because she needed help.”
At the same time, another part of me thinks maybe I’m overthinking everything.
I honestly don’t know anymore.
Something else that makes this difficult is that I don’t even know if I like the real person or the version of her I’ve built in my head over the last four years. I’ve imagined so many conversations and possibilities that sometimes I don’t know where reality ends and imagination begins.
I also struggle with jealousy.
Whenever I remember her previous relationship, especially knowing they spent so much time together, I feel angry and sad even though I know I have no right to. They were together before I was ever part of her life. She didn’t do anything wrong. Yet those thoughts still hurt me.
Sometimes I even question whether I’m a good person because of how jealous I feel.
Another thing that’s always been in the back of my mind is that I genuinely thought college would be where I’d finally experience love for the first time. Instead, I’ve spent almost my entire college life holding onto feelings for someone who probably has no idea how much space she’s occupied in my mind.
I’ve thought about forgetting her completely many times.
I’ve also thought about talking to her more and maybe confessing my feelings by the end of this year—not to pressure her into anything, but because I feel like I need closure. Living in uncertainty for four years has been exhausting.
So I guess these are my questions:
Am I just idealizing someone I’ve barely gotten to know?
Is it worth trying to build a genuine friendship before saying anything?
Should I let this go completely?
If you were in my position, what would you do?
Has anyone else held onto feelings for someone for years and eventually found closure?
I’m open to hearing opinions, even if they’re difficult to hear. I just don’t want to spend another four years wondering “what if.”
Thanks for reading. I really appreciate any advice.

I’m planning to buy a MBA M5 15 inch with 24GB RAM and 1TB SSD.
Im a student and can get around ₹11,000 off through Apple's Education Store using UNiDAYS. Is that the best deal, or can I get a better price from stores in Delhi like Imagine,iNvent,Vijay Sales, or Reliance Digital?
Also, are there any student offers or back-to-school deals available right now?
If anyone has recently bought a MacBook in Delhi, please share your experience and the price you got.