u/Animal-Lover-414

In discussions, I see this over and over again about why people hate Jax because he:

1. Killed his mom
2. Made Ribbit and Kaufmo abstract
3. Bullied Gangle and others (but mainly Gangle)
4. I’ve also seen allegations of sexual harassment (towards Gangle?)

I’m not saying he’s a good boy who has never done wrong, he’s not. He frequently pushes away and hurts other people in order to protect himself from the pain he thinks they will cause him if they get too close. He does bully Gangle significantly. But, I think it’s absolutely insane how dramatized people are taking every wrong action. If I missed something, I would greatly appreciate being pointed to the clips in the show I missed.

Here’s the actual list, to my understanding:

1. He shoved his mom off of him after she was being emotionally abusive out of distress; and she ended up hitting her head. He got scared and ran away instead of calling for help. Legally, I think this would be classified as manslaughter at worst, assuming she’s dead. Which, honestly is a **wild** assumption. It’s the assumption he made in panic, and not impossible, but most likely she just got knocked out and woke up later. But, even so, he was actively being abused, reacted, and to be like **he’s a MURDERER** is harsh. It’s not comparable to a premeditated homicide. It’s more equivalent to somebody threatening you, you driving away, and then you hit them with your car when they jump in front of it to stop you. He should have called the cops, yes. But it’s well documented that people don’t think straight while panicking (Which, he was already in distress) and he likely felt too scared to return later.
2. He was a factor in their abstractions, especially Ribbit. For Ribbit, I’ve seen “he isolated Ribbit” incorrect. He avoided Ribbit. Still bad for her mental state, but not the same way or level at all. Ribbit could still talk to literally every member of the circus, Jax just cut her off from talking to him. He was definitely rude to Ribbit as well, and though we don’t see it, it’s safe to assume there was at least some level of bullying. This, though a major factor (assuming the allegory of suicide), would not force Ribbit to abstract. I will agree with pushed towards (I’ve seen this claim too) but not forced or made.

For Kaufmo, that just is not true. He stopped being Kaufmo’s friend and was rude and abrasive. This would definitely nudge Kaufmo closer to abstraction, but wouldn’t push him significantly. He did ignore Kaufmo’s final attempt to reach out, which was negative. But he wasn’t the driving force. He just didn’t help him out.

3. This is true. Not much refuting here. Severity leveled very but most are similar enough I’ll leave it. He bullies Gangle and others.

4. Unless we are talking about him flirting with Gangle in his mind which… is in his mind… so it’s not… anything? I don’t know what this is about. Just no.

So, is a person who ran after an argument with their abusive parent, who is a terrible friend (to the point of distress, and not helping friends in need) and a bully, a bad person? Yeah.

Is he an irredeemable monster? No? All of his problems stem from unresolved trauma that if he worked to resolve he could become a good person. It wouldn’t be easy, but it’s possible. He didn’t get a redemption arc, but he could have and probably would have if he didn’t abstract.

Did he deserve to abstract? No, that’s an unfair punishment for someone capable of redemption.

Did he deserve to get a redemption arc? No, it’s not the responsibility of anyone but himself to redeem him, and the fact he didn’t get one is his fault. No one deserves redemption, it’s still a good thing.

Just to be clear, I liked the ending. I think it was bittersweet, but showed that life can move on even in imperfection and grief. I’m just posting this because out of all the things I’ve seen in this fight, this black and white thinking on both sides about Jax is driving me crazy.

Hi, so I’m 21F and yesterday me and my 26M broke up because he says he wants a kid in the future and I don’t. We wished each other the best, hugged and said goodbye (presumably forever, I can’t really do the friends thing). But… I’ve never not doubted myself on any decision I’ve ever made. I doubt literally every action I take. And I’m sitting here wondering if I really don’t want kids or if I’m just young. I love kids; I’m going to be a high school teacher.

But, my maternal family has a long history of depression (including me), I really like my personal space, and after living with my non-verbal autistic brother for his 13 years of life (as much as I truly love him) my life would be ruined by a child like him. The screaming, the diaper changing, the general mess, the lack of personal space…

Yet I wonder if this is the wrong decision? If I just gave up someone I love because I’m assuming children are worse than they really are? Truth be told I don’t think I’ll ever stop doubting, but I’d appreciate some help being okay with that?