u/AnimatorComplex7303

i’m a 20 year old girl and ever since i graduated high school 3 years ago it feels like all the passion disappeared from my life. even studying. my whole life became going to classes, coming home, sleeping, then studying a few hours before exams. that’s literally it. no hobbies, no fun memories, no friendships, nothing exciting. sometimes i’d cook just because i wanted to feel something different for once. i even skipped lectures all the time because i had no energy for anything.

then this year everything started getting worse really fast. my anxiety got so bad and i started having panic attacks. i started hating studying and my grades dropped badly. . i made so many impulsive stupid decisions because i stopped caring about anything anymore but at the same time the anxiety keeps eating me alive every second.

all i do is sleep. sleep all day and wish i could stay asleep longer so i don’t have to deal with life. i tried making friends for years but everyone eventually distances themselves or ghosts me and now i push people away before they can do it first because i already expect it.

this whole year passed and i didn’t do a single enjoyable thing. nothing. i keep looking at people my age going out with friends, traveling, making memories, falling in love, living normally and it makes me feel awful and jealous meanwhile i spend most of my time laying in bed sleeping, crying, overthinking and feeling disconnected from reality. i feel like i’m dreaming 24/7 and nothing around me feels real anymore.

every week or two i fall into a horrible depression where i cry constantly and start questioning what the point of my life even is. then maybe i feel okay for a day or two and everything crashes again. i even tried traveling because i thought maybe changing places would fix me somehow but i still spent most of the trip sleeping, crying, feeling lonely and empty.

nothing makes me feel happy anymore. not even the things i used to enjoy. i feel like i’m just a body walking around wasting oxygen. i don’t have motivation for anything, no excitement for anything, no energy for anything. i just want to sleep all the time.

i tried therapy and every therapist keeps saying the same things like sleep better, journal, walk more, talk to people, distract yourself and none of it helped. i feel like nobody understands what’s happening to me and not even therapists understand me. i don’t even want psychiatric medication because i already feel lost enough and i don’t know who i even am anymore.

i feel so lost and exhausted and i don’t know why life suddenly started feeling this empty.

I got only two years left in college after that I’m moving back home (somewhere super strict at the Middle East ) life there is so miserable and caused me a lot of crazy traumas. I feel like life is not worth it if I’m not living the way I want not even in the future back home. ( and yeah I HAVE to go back home for a reason and there is not any other option)

I want to spend those two years having fun and making friends but I don’t think that’s happening

i’m a 20 year old girl and ever since i graduated high school 3 years ago it feels like all the passion disappeared from my life. even studying. my whole life became going to university, coming home, sleeping, then studying a few hours before exams. that’s literally it. no hobbies, no fun memories, no friendships, nothing exciting. sometimes i’d cook just because i wanted to feel something different for once. i even skipped lectures all the time because i had no energy for anything.

then this year everything started getting worse really fast. my anxiety got so bad and i started having panic attacks. i started hating studying and my grades dropped badly. i even ended up being hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital at one point. i made so many impulsive stupid decisions because i stopped caring about anything anymore but at the same time the anxiety keeps eating me alive every second.

all i do is sleep. sleep all day and wish i could stay asleep longer so i don’t have to deal with life. i tried making friends for years but everyone eventually distances themselves or ghosts me and now i push people away before they can do it first because i already expect it.

this whole year passed and i didn’t do a single enjoyable thing. nothing. i keep looking at people my age going out with friends, traveling, making memories, falling in love, living normally meanwhile i spend most of my time laying in bed sleeping, crying, overthinking and feeling disconnected from reality. i feel like i’m dreaming 24/7 and nothing around me feels real anymore.

every week or two i fall into a horrible depression where i cry constantly and start questioning what the point of my life even is. then maybe i feel okay for a day or two and everything crashes again. i even tried traveling because i thought maybe changing places would fix me somehow but i still spent most of the trip sleeping, crying, feeling lonely and empty.

nothing makes me feel happy anymore. not even the things i used to enjoy. i feel like i’m just a body walking around wasting oxygen. i don’t have motivation for anything, no excitement for anything, no energy for anything. i just want to sleep all the time.

i tried therapy and every therapist keeps saying the same things like sleep better, journal, walk more, talk to people, distract yourself and none of it helped. i feel like nobody understands what’s happening to me and not even therapists understand me. i don’t even want psychiatric medication because i already feel lost enough and i don’t know who i even am anymore.

i feel so lost and exhausted and i don’t know why life suddenly started feeling this empty.

Ngl this has been messing with my head for a while. my skin tone is kinda tan my nipples are brown but down there and my asshole is like actually dark almost black. i always get scared guys will find it unattractive. my labia are kinda big too and i feel gross about it sometimes. plus i have a lot of scars and my knees are dark as well