u/AntelopeEntire4891

Its like my brain is too slow to recognize a problem. Than when I do I get confused and don't know what to do or lack the flexible thinking nessesary to solve a problem. Often times I can't even find the milk in the fridge sitting in front of me. I feel like a liability in my relationships and my work life. Sometimes when confronted with a problem I get panicky nervous energy rather than something focused. By the way I'm not autistic but I seem like I could be. Also 10 years ago I was in a violent altercation that permanently maimed my face.

I don't know what is wrong with me. It seems like my executive functioning and working memory are offline. I can't seem to remember what happened yesterday and I can't seem to think flexibly. For instance I have a pocket knife and I was trying to force the blade in for like 10 minutes than somebody came by and simply flipped the blade the other way. If that's not bad enough this is the second time this happened in a couple of weeks. You would think I'd remember after being shown already. Or at least think "oh this isn't working let me try something else. Another example: I was showering for a month and the water wouldn't drain because it was clogged. My girlfriend looked at it for a second and diagnosed it as a clogged drain. Another example: at work Everytime we lift something heavy there is a specific method step1) grab the wheelbarrow and place heavy item in it step 2) transport heavy item to trailer. But every time this happens I try and carry it myself and my coworkers remind me to get the wheelbarrow. This has happened like 25 times. I just stand around at work and do nothing I overcomplicate simple problems. If the problem is super simple I'll assume it has to be more complicated then someone shows me and I feel like a retard. Maybe I am retarded. I can't remember any of the old movies I've seen back in the day. I wish you could see how I operate on a day to day basis then you might understand. I think there might be some neurological damage or maybe the meds I'm taking. The weird part is that I haven't always been this way. This is a new development. I remember about a year ago just slowly losing my mind. I still have a mind and a personality especially around people I'm close with but executive functioning is non existent and I just don't get it.

I don't know what is wrong with me. It seems like my executive functioning and working memory are offline. I can't seem to remember what happened yesterday and I can't seem to think flexibly. For instance I have a pocket knife and I was trying to force the blade in for like 10 minutes than somebody came by and simply flipped the blade the other way. If that's not bad enough this is the second time this happened in a couple of weeks. You would think I'd remember after being shown already. Or at least think "oh this isn't working let me try something else. Another example: I was showering for a month and the water wouldn't drain because it was clogged. My girlfriend looked at it for a second and diagnosed it as a clogged drain. Another example: at work Everytime we lift something heavy there is a specific method step1) grab the wheelbarrow and place heavy item in it step 2) transport heavy item to trailer. But every time this happens I try and carry it myself and my coworkers remind me to get the wheelbarrow. This has happened like 25 times. I just stand around at work and do nothing I overcomplicate simple problems. If the problem is super simple I'll assume it has to be more complicated then someone shows me and I feel like a retard. Maybe I am retarded. I can't remember any of the old movies I've seen back in the day. I wish you could see how I operate on a day to day basis then you might understand. I think there might be some neurological damage or maybe the meds I'm taking. The weird part is that I haven't always been this way. This is a new development. I remember about a year ago just slowly losing my mind. I still have a mind and a personality especially around people I'm close with but executive functioning is non existent and I just don't get it.

I don't know what is wrong with me. It seems like my executive functioning and working memory are offline. I can't seem to remember what happened yesterday and I can't seem to think flexibly. For instance I have a pocket knife and I was trying to force the blade in for like 10 minutes than somebody came by and simply flipped the blade the other way. If that's not bad enough this is the second time this happened in a couple of weeks. You would think I'd remember after being shown already. Or at least think "oh this isn't working let me try something else. Another example: I was showering for a month and the water wouldn't drain because it was clogged. My girlfriend looked at it for a second and diagnosed it as a clogged drain. Another example: at work Everytime we lift something heavy there is a specific method step1) grab the wheelbarrow and place heavy item in it step 2) transport heavy item to trailer. But every time this happens I try and carry it myself and my coworkers remind me to get the wheelbarrow. This has happened like 25 times. I just stand around at work and do nothing I overcomplicate simple problems. If the problem is super simple I'll assume it has to be more complicated then someone shows me and I feel like a retard. Maybe I am retarded. I can't remember any of the old movies I've seen back in the day. I wish you could see how I operate on a day to day basis then you might understand. I think there might be some neurological damage or maybe the meds I'm taking. The weird part is that I haven't always been this way. This is a new development. I remember about a year ago just slowly losing my mind. I still have a mind and a personality especially around people I'm close with but executive functioning is non existent and I just don't get it.

Does anybody else have difficulties solving the simplest problems (I'm talking like chimp level problems) like for instance earlier today I was at a storage unit with my girlfriend and she had to locate the storage unit by herself, figure out how to unlock it, and lock it back up. Me? I would've tapped out and called mommy or daddy. You know how emasculating it is to have your girlfriend solve problems while u sit there like a sad puddle? At work I can't direct traffic I can barely even use a shovel intelligently. It's like the portion of the brain that solves problems has went offline for me. I can write but so can a 10 year old. My understanding of the world and how systems work together is like a 0/10. I live in a childs world and I'm almost 30. I know how to stand sit and put food in my mouth. Does anybody else go through this. I cry sometimes at my level of incompetence. I can't replace a tire without being shown and after being shown I forget how to do it and have to be shown again. Sometimes it takes me 5 minutes to unlock a door. Whenever I turn on a hose on I almost always turn it the wrong way first. My blade was chipped on my pocket knife and I didn't know what to do. My crew leader came over and simply flipped the blade over to the sharpened side. Duh. Watch me try to hook up a trailer and I'll be there for 30 minutes. A couple weeks ago I couldn't get the trailer off the hitch and it wouldn't crank anymore. Most people would think 🤔 maybe I should put a bigger piece of wood under the landing gear but not me I gave up and let my coworker figure it out. They don't even trust me to use a rope to tie things down. Shit I don't trust myself. That's why I stand there and watch and let the more capable guys do it. Forget about it when it comes to directions. I have to use a GPS to get anywhere. One time I put regular gas in a diesel engine.

10 years ago my jaw was broken and this required surgery. After it was all said and done my face never healed properly and now my lip droops. In other words my face got fucked up and nowadays I get rejected socially because of how I look and I remember what it was like before the injury: Social ease and now it's like I'm being watched, conversations and suddenly and people don't want to talk to me.