u/Anxious_Ariel85

I know many people say they are alone but not lonely, but most days i am both.

I’ve been through some pretty hectic life events and none in my orbit, in my work friends, life friends etc have gone through anything similar

Some days i just wanna cry, scream and vent but if try I feels pointless as they can’t understand what I’ve gone through and I know some try but it feels hollow somehow

By the time I was 35 I’d lost my sister, both bio parents, a dad who wasn’t my dad and had a close knit friend group explode and I was ousted over a lie someone else told

I so desperately want a friend I can talk to, open with, full TMI with but I just can’t find it.

Every day they passed I feel my walls getting higher and I don’t know how to break them down again

Today I had a date, and one of the first things he says to me is ‘oh I smoke Ice but the way, hope that’s ok’

Then wanted to know if I minded if he lit up while we were talking

This is just the kicker to week of gross messages, feral men, 1 married one and 2 potentials that just ghosted outta no where

I’m gonna become a nun