u/Apprehensive_Star508

Never had a positive test. I have endo symptoms but a clear ultrasound and normal labs. My husband has had 2 SAs, both came back with normal motility, good volume, count at the lowest end of normal, and low morphology. At first, his reproductive urologist did not make it seem like this was the sole reason we weren’t conceiving. She said it was “enough for IUI” and didn’t make it seem like our chances for spontaneous conception were exceptionally low.

Then they did a “test wash” for the second SA and the “post wash” total motile count was less than 1 million (almost 98% motile were lost.) Zero explanation just “not enough for IUI. Hope varicocele surgery helps.”

I tried for months to find any information about what these borderline numbers actually mean and came up empty. Finally meet her in person for the surgery and I ask how aggressively we should be pursuing IVF because I don’t understand what’s going on. She finally tells me that “with your current results, IVF is the most realistic option.” She put our IUI probability at less than 2% and I’m guessing spontaneous conception even lower.

She said something like 65% of people see improvement after surgery but reading between the lines…she’s saying we’re probably not magically going to be at spontaneous conception numbers. Maybe we’ll get to do IUI if we’re lucky.

The worst part isn’t IVF. I wish we could just start now. It’s the months and months of false hope and now waiting more months to get the follow up analysis and probably just end up at the IVF clinic almost a year from now once we’re finally cleared to start and off the wait list. After probably being forced by insurance to try IUI when there’s no hope.

Why, why wasn’t it clearly communicated to us MONTHS ago that our chances were this low? I’m begging any medical professionals who read this post to PLEASE communicate clearly even when the results are bad. The heartbreak is unreal.

Even on this sub people were really dismissive when I asked what our results meant and…lo and behold all my fears are finally confirmed.

So for background, husband and I have been TTC for 6 months going on 7. Zero positive tests. He’s had two semen analyses, both came back with normal motility, low concentration, total count at the lowest end of normal, total motile count just under 20 mil, and abnormal morphology. He’s having varicocele surgery soon. I have endo symptoms but a clear ultrasound.

I’m a scientist. Now, I’m under no illusion that anyone can give me a clean prediction of our odds of conception. That said - it boggles my mind how much contradictory information there is out there about fertility, both male and female. No one can give me a straight answer as to whether or not my husband’s parameters are affecting our chances of spontaneous conception. For example, the lab that did his analyses set the lowest end of normal for total motile count at just under 10 million. But a bunch of other studies say the chances drop dramatically under 20 million. That’s a CRAZY difference, right? Both cannot possibly be true.

Does morphology matter or not? No one knows. Will varicocele surgery help? Maybe! His FSH number is in the normal range. No, actually, it’s “elevated” and really the normal range should be capped at 9. One day, people on this sub tell me that with these numbers, I’ll most likely be pregnant in the next few months. But over on r/maleinfertility? No chance, go straight to IVF. Now ok, that’s a bunch of nonexperts on Reddit, you might say. But I’ve gotten this level of conflicting answers from literal doctors on this subject!

And don’t even get me started on my side. One day I hear that it’s never normal to have painful periods and there IS an explanation. The next, I get a clear ultrasound and my doctors are not willing to pursue further imaging for endometriosis. My SIL had endo surgery and was told that it was needed before starting IVF. My OBGYN (an endo specialist, mind you) says nope, she doesn’t think excision surgery is indicated before IVF because of potential damage to the ovaries. So which is it? How can the ONLY diagnostic tool for this condition have this much disagreement around it?

All the studies I find seem to have sample size issues among other things. How can anyone make informed decisions about care with information that’s THIS unclear??

My doctor suspects endometriosis. My symptoms are extreme pain on period days 1-2 and cycle-specific bloating (ovulation and late luteal phase like clockwork, my stomach looks huge and distended.) She sent me for an ultrasound yesterday (I know that they usually aren’t conclusive. Usually insurance is going to require the cheapest and least invasive diagnostic technique first.)

Now I’m waiting for the results and just can’t stop reading TTC subs and spiraling. I feel so stupid now but I truly did not think we would have trouble when we started trying. I figured, I’m 30, I have regular cycles, we’re active and healthy. Doctors are telling me everything is fine. It’s normal to get period cramps and bloating! I probably just have a low pain tolerance! If I had endo I’d have debilitating chronic pain, I’m definitely not like people who are truly suffering!

Well…now we’re approaching the half a year mark, zero positive tests. I know that others have been trying way longer and we aren’t infertile YET but it also seems like the vast majority of people conceive before six months. There’s so much waiting. Now it’s waiting for the ultrasound results. Waiting to get hormone testing. Waiting for an MRI. Waiting for surgery. Waiting for recovery. Waiting to start IVF.

And all the in between waiting of still trying naturally and testing negative over and over again. I took a pregnancy test at 9DPO (negative obviously) and currently 11DPO…can’t bring myself to test again before I get the results from my ultrasound.

This all feels so random and unfair.

Zero positive tests in our TTC journey so far. Have imaging at the end of the month to look for fibroids or endo. I’m trying to cut out alcohol at least during the TWW and limit it the rest of the month.

My husband’s friend has never been the most socially aware. We were having dinner and my husband (kindly but without really thinking) asked the waitress in a very obvious way about the mocktail options. Friend proceeds to completely put me on the spot with something like “so I see you ordered a mocktail! Any reason why?” With an obvious happy smile. So I had to both tell everyone at the table we are TTC and no I’m not pregnant.

Friend then launches into “it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen” as well as exactly how quickly it took him and his wife to conceive. “She was SO surprised, we just started trying!” They’re in their late 30s/early 40s…I just turned 30. He then recommends me a bunch of baby books. I had to cut the topic off very bluntly.

He doesn’t mean anything by it but it really brought everything back that it’s our 5th month TTC and my doctor strongly suspects I have endo…I know full well that it hasn’t been that long but I also know that by month 6 the majority of couples our age have conceived. I know I could be looking at major abdominal surgery to have a chance of conceiving…I’m exhausted by all the uncertainty and either having to completely hide what we’re going through all the time or having to deal with a bunch of invasive or unhelpful comments.

My spouse and I have been TTC for four months, zero positive tests. (I know it’s not that long, but I have a bad feeling.) We got his SA results and I don’t really understand how to interpret them. The clinic gave them to us with no commentary and then seemed confused when we asked for a follow up from a doctor.

All of his numbers are basically just under or right at the lowest end of the “normal” range, except for 1% morph. I’m struggling to find stories on these subs for men with numbers like this where they aren’t severely low (like sub 20% motile or counts in the single millions) or in the “middle” of the normal range. Some posts here make me feel like we need to go straight to IVF and some make me feel like I’m overreacting.

So I’m confused by how dire our situation is. Is there a chance for natural conception with “borderline” numbers or are we wasting our time? Can we disregard the 1% morph or does it REALLY matter in our case because his other numbers are borderline? Neither of us smoke, we aren’t overweight, we exercise regularly and mostly eat healthy. The only thing is alcohol but he doesn’t drink more than 1-2 with a meal and is cutting back to just one drink when we go out or on the weekend. I struggle to see how that could be affecting his numbers so dramatically?

He started taking a men’s fertility supplement and we are planning to ask for a repeat analysis in a few months. He does think that doing a five day hold and having to transport the sample from home to clinic affected the morph and motility numbers.

I’m 30 years old (partner is 37) TTC for a few months. At the outset, I asked my doctor if I could get some pre-conception testing done because I was concerned about endo. She pretty much outright dismissed me because I’m ovulating regularly, am under 35, and any tests would be invasive and expensive. The thing is, I really don’t want to waste a year trying only to find out it’s impossible for me to conceive naturally. We’re already on the older side and our parents are old.

Based on these symptoms…do y’all think it’s worth pushing for a diagnosis now? How did you approach your doctor or should I try to find a different one? Is there any chance this ISN’T endo?

1. Very painful periods. The first day of my period I have no energy (could sleep all day,) feel nauseous, pain so bad it’s kept me home from work, cramps that feel more like burning and radiate down my legs. This feels like the most obvious indicator of endo but it’s ONLY the first day and resolves basically right away after that. I have no pain outside of the first day of my period. I’ve had this level of pain since getting my first period.

2. Bloating especially around ovulation. I know some amount of bloating during ovulation is normal, so I’m unsure what amount of bloating is considered “abnormal.” I’m a fairly low weight but my stomach has never looked flat.

3. High estrogen and elevated FSH, relatively low progesterone. I’ll attach my charts in comments (can’t add them to the post.) Now, I know that urine metabolites are very imperfect for FSH and progesterone. Still the trend (especially the high FSH/LH ratio) has me concerned. My doctor was not interested in doing a hormone blood panel because of my age and regular cycles - would this be worth pushing for?

4. Occasional “butt lighting” during my period and sometimes around ovulation.

5. Heavy-ish periods but only for the first 2 days.

Other than that…I really don’t have the kinds of terrible symptoms that a lot of y’all are suffering with. No chronic pelvic pain, no bleeding outside of my period, no pain during sex, no bowel issues outside my period. It’s so hard for me to tell what is and isn’t normal.