u/Aquasplendens

As a teenager I didn't really have heavy periods, and my cramping never kept me home from school, but when I started on birth control at 15 I learned I could skip my period with them, and have been taking it continuously since. My periods didn't go away completely for a few years, but when they did I was so excited to never have a period again. Now at 33, I'm realizing I'm probably getting close to peri-menopause. I know a lot of women use hormonal birth control during peri-menopause to regulate their hormones, but one reason I want to go off of it is to let my own hormones adjust from the synthetic ones I've been taking before I go into it. I also deal with a lot of anxiety, and learned a few years ago that it's possible the hormonal birth control could be a contributing factor to it. I am not sexually active so there's no risk of pregnancy coming off of it.

I tried late last year to go off of it at the end of a pack, and had by far the worst cramps I have ever experienced. Like, when you get a really bad poop that gives you cold sweats and makes you want to sit on the tile floor bare naked to get some relief from how awful you feel, but uterine cramps. I tried to remedy the cramping with an orgasm (worked when I was younger) but it only made them worse this time. I dealt with that for three weeks before I started a new pack. Around the time I had some spotting but not a period.

Over the past six weeks I weaned myself off of it by taking it every other day. I don't have health insurance, so this was not approved by a doctor, I do not know if it's actually safe to do so. The cramps barely came back about four weeks in, but they came and went without much upset and didn't negatively impact my day. For the last week I have been so ravenous! I usually have a pretty small appetite. But this last week I have been devouring everything in sight, easily eating twice as much as I usually do. And I've been fucking exhausted. Not to mention my boobs are so tender everything hurts. My senior cat, who has the tiniest little paws has horrid aim and has been stepping right on my nipples all week. I tell her I'm not mad at her, but goddamn it hurts! The past few days the cramping has been not horrible, but not pleasant. I'm not bleeding a ton, thank goodness, and I'm getting some good practice with my menstrual disk. I still have a ravenous appetite, and I now look like I'm eating for two because I'm so bloated. I'm not looking for any advice, only complaining a little, but I forgot how much of a full body experience this is, yeeesh! Has anyone else dealt with this before? How was your experience months of years later?

Going to a club is fun, but I love the idea of a chill lounge to take a book or an art project and listen to some music, have a drink and just hang out and not have to worry about being bugged by drunk men all night. Like, coffee shop vibes but at night with mixed drinks. Does anything like this exist in Indy?

I used to be really outgoing, wanting to make friends, help everyone, had a pretty positive outlook on life. I’m in my 30s now, went through a friend breakup recently, one of many that have happened over the years, and have myself convinced no one actually cares about me. I’m supposed to have capacity for everyone else but I can’t find anyone, even in my own family to have the same capacity for me. Everyone else is allowed to have meltdowns or blowups, but no, if I do, I’m overreacting and need to calm down and shut up. How can you say you care about someone if you don’t listen to them or try to understand them? Fuck I hate dealing with people. The hurt is just too much

I bought my house last year, and there is a tree planted by the city that they water every week or so in the summer. It’s an American Elm, and I have read that they need to be pruned when they’re young, and it’s pretty densely branched right now. When I posted in another subreddit I was told it might be on a pruning plan. Does anyone know anything about this or the program that planted the trees?

Edited to add that I learned it is planted by KIB and i have reached out to them to ask about a pruning program! I’m also going to ask about volunteering with them! Thanks everyone for the info, I appreciate it.

People say that they want to talk through something but when I (33f) explain my point of view, people get pissed off at me and then I have to turn around and apologize to them for making them feel bad when I still feel bad and nothing was ever accomplished so I still feel bad and I’ve only had to comfort someone else when I thought that I would be the one getting some kind of comfort or support. I make bids for connections when I realize that I’m starting to struggle, those bids are almost never reciprocated, so I bottle up what I feel, and then it continues to pile up until I’m at a breaking point, and when I get to that breaking point and I’m really struggling, it only pisses more people off because I can’t regulate anything, so I can’t mask, so I often go non verbal, and I’m more agitated because I’ve been bottling things up. I’ve also been told to keep my mouth shut unless I have something positive to say. I was raised in a family that didn’t talk about their feelings or work through any problems so I have no basis to work off of, other than what I’ve heard in various videos. I know I overexplain things, and I lack nuance and subtlety. And I’m not asking for anyone to make me happy in that moment or change my mood, I just want to be understood.
Has anyone struggled with this and how were you able to work through it?