I don’t feel like I’m allowed to have “difficult emotions”
People say that they want to talk through something but when I (33f) explain my point of view, people get pissed off at me and then I have to turn around and apologize to them for making them feel bad when I still feel bad and nothing was ever accomplished so I still feel bad and I’ve only had to comfort someone else when I thought that I would be the one getting some kind of comfort or support. I make bids for connections when I realize that I’m starting to struggle, those bids are almost never reciprocated, so I bottle up what I feel, and then it continues to pile up until I’m at a breaking point, and when I get to that breaking point and I’m really struggling, it only pisses more people off because I can’t regulate anything, so I can’t mask, so I often go non verbal, and I’m more agitated because I’ve been bottling things up. I’ve also been told to keep my mouth shut unless I have something positive to say. I was raised in a family that didn’t talk about their feelings or work through any problems so I have no basis to work off of, other than what I’ve heard in various videos. I know I overexplain things, and I lack nuance and subtlety. And I’m not asking for anyone to make me happy in that moment or change my mood, I just want to be understood.
Has anyone struggled with this and how were you able to work through it?