u/Aqueraventus

Hi!! I am looking for any form of positive representation in media for polyamory, more specifically I am hoping to find movies or TV shows that represent polyamory in a positive light. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

Hello!

For simplicity for this story I am going to be referring to my partner as cookie, and my meta as cupcake.

I recently entered a living situation with my partner and meta, which we have been talking about for a while now and decided to recently act on.

I have been with cookie for 3 years, and cookie has been with cupcake for about a decade. Cookie and cupcake have been living together for about 7 years. Cupcake also has a partner who they have been with for about 5 years but they are together maybe twice a month.

The issues that have come up are some that I have been expecting, but they are tougher in practice than they were in theory.

I have been dealing with a lot of jealousy and I know my meta has too, specifically for me it revolves around the idea of them having sex. We moved into a fairly spacious apartment, by my partners room is right above mine and my metas is down the hall from them.

My partner has been spending every other night with each of us respectively and has been super reassuring and has been there for both of us which I know is a lot. A few nights in here, I heard them having sex above me and it was awful. We quickly mitigated that and decided we would only be having sex in our respective rooms (mine and cupcakes) when it’s our night with cookie.

I know that overhearing them having sex is something that was just going to happen, and I fully expected that as a reality before we moved, but anxiety has taken over my mind and now whenever I hear the slightest bump in the walls I assume they are having sex which has been really rough. I know my meta has been struggling with the same thing because they have expressed it too. The problem is we live in an apartment building with thin walls so I hear noises all the time even from other apartments. When cookie and cupcake are just hanging out I feel genuine compersion for them, it’s just around sex that I get this pit in my stomach, which is also frustrating because before all of this I saw cookie maybe once a week and was just happy for them getting to be together the rest of the time. Now I feel like I’m getting way more than that and it suddenly feels really hard.

I have taken some steps on my own like getting noise cancelling headphones and trying to do my own thing when they’re spending time together.

Things have been good on many fronts, I like cupcake quite a bit and think they are cool, we all spend time together and it’s nice and we all get along and share a lot of similar interests. I have been getting closer to them and I feel it’s easier for me to feel compersion for them the closer we are.

Idk I think I am just really stressed about the transition, this place is new and it doesn’t quite feel like my home yet and I think that is contributing to it too. I also have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) which I know plays a factor.

What do people in this dynamic do to reassure themselves or deal with jealousy? I am struggling a lot and we are all committed to making this work but it has been really tough. I know we are all in it for the long haul though.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi everyone!

I am in a new situation and I would love some advice/feedback.

For simplicity I will refer to my partner as crunch and my meta as bunch

I just moved into a new place with my partner of 3 years as well as my meta, his partner of 10 years. This is a new situation for all of us, they have been poly for about 5 years and I am crunch’s first serious partner since they opened. Bunch also has another partner who they have been with for about 5 years.

Crunch and bunch have been living with each other for about 7 years and we all decided to move in together (crunch, bunch and I) earlier this year. Partially out of necessity for cheaper rent/larger space but largely because we wanted to.

I like bunch quite a bit, we get along really well and I am even attracted to them to some degree, but we have not spent much alone time together. We are working on that and will be spending more intentional time together just the 2 of us.

The first couple of nights here have been tough. It has been about a week and I have been dealing with some pretty intense jealousy, and it seems that bunch has been as well. Crunch has been a very good hinge and has been comforting us both but it’s a tough adjustment. It doesn’t help that crunches room is above mine and I heard them having sex within the first few days here which gave me painful, stabbing jealousy. This was addressed immediately and we all agreed to only have sex in mine and bunches rooms which are on opposite sides of the house.

The thing is, before this, i very rarely felt jealousy for my meta and experienced significant compersion for them. I am still happy that they are happy, but ever since that night I heard them having sex it has been tough for me, I have been feeling quite jealous when they spend time together and my meta has been expressing the same when crunch and I spent the night together.

I do think this has been lessening some, but it is minor. We are all deeply committed to making this work and I care deeply for both crunch and bunch. I think I just need someone to tell me I’m not crazy and would love any advice that would help me work toward true compersion. When sex isn’t involved and we are all just spending time together we have a great time and none of this is an issue.

Thank you for reading, and I welcome any and all feedback!!

Please!!! I need to go to this show 😭