u/Artsy_Dragonfly

Omg I just don’t know. Can’t sleep and feel nauseous….. wtf. So anyone I’m a 50 yrs old bi guy. Always been in the closet and so scared to attempt to date or even do stuff with a guy. Did experiment with a few quick hookups with dudes. Just light stuff such as jacking each other off and sucking each other a bit. Even then I felt sick to my stomach afterward and felt so guilty. Attempted to talk to some guys over the years. But just not attracted to many men at all. And flaked a lot. Always just so skeptical about guys wanting to meet right now and then if you do not meet right away they disappear. So anyway I stated talking to a younger 28 year old guy. And actually found him cute with an amazing perfect slim body. So we exchange numbers. Chatted a bit and waited a few days to meet in person. And we met at a little Italian cafe, just talked and ate, then he invited me back to his place. I was hesitant and nervous as hell. He is just way too good looking for me. We go into his place and he invites me right into his bedroom and he just strips right down naked right into front of me. So I also get naked. And he just starts kissing me and I kiss back lips locked deep in kissing. He then kissing my neck and body as I do the same kissing him everywhere. Still in just awe of his beauty. I tell him how fucking hot he is and his big beautiful dick rubbing against my cock felt amazing.
So he sucks me first a bit and then I do the same and touched and kissed a lot then had sex. Omfg. Wow wow. After we showered and laid together. I kept telling him his freakin hot he is. Think I creeped him out a bit. He did say he wanted not to be serious with anyone. He’s only here temporarily for a job and has to leave in a few months. He politely just asked me to leave. And I left. Same a message that night. And another yesterday for 4th of July. But have yet to hear back from him. I’m not sending any more messages. I’m freakin a bit. And keep thinking about him. Omg. Think I’m more gay than I thought.

So I’m bi and never had a full sexual experience with a guy. But just the other day I met a guy and we did hook up. And yes I licked a lot of places with my tongue. And had anal sex. Will say it was incredible. But sadly I been feeling just sick and nauseous since yesterday morning. I do not have any diarrhea or cramps. But feel wiped out and been having a slight cough. Don’t think I have a fever. But I have been feelin hot.
Think I’ll probably go to med express tomorrow if I’m still not feeling good. Any specifics what to get tested for? Or maybe it’s just a regular virus or Nora virus. 😞

So I honestly have no one to talk to. I’m not even out to anyone and my family has homophobia. So anyway I’ve always dated women. And just don’t find many guys attractive at all. But was curious and slightly attracted to some guys. . And years ago did have a few curious hook ups with only a few guy. But they were just quick and just nerve racking weird. Quick jack off and blow job then bye bye never heard from again.

But I met a guy a week ago that we just started texting and actually went to dinner and then back to his place. And we did kiss a lot and fooled around actually taking turns pleasing each other. Felt more intimate than with any other guy.
Hate to say though we have a big age gap. I’m 50 and he’s in his 20s and just incredibly really good looking and incredible skinny body. I’m just bald with a beard and out of shape dad body.
Idk. So confused. Never felt this way towards a guy. I was so nervous and probably creeped him out telling him how hot he is. So anyway just not sure if It was just yet another hookup. With more intimacy. He said nothing about seeing each other again or getting together. Plus that age gap is quite the difference. Think a good learning experience and knowing I’m more gay than I thought.