u/ArugulaOk9889

Ok so I just really really don't like my life or life in all. My father is abusive, he hits me and my siblings but especially me probably because I'm the second oldest and the most rebellious. He hits my mom too, and my mom never feeds us. I think she's having a breakdown because she hasn't gotten out of bed for months, so I have to cook for my younger siblings and walk them to school. He drinks a lot and yells and I has so so so much trauma. And my older brother moved out the second he turned 18 because he couldn't stand it in our house obviously and I know he's disappointed in me. He knows I smoke and vape and he doesn't like how I stand up to my dad, but I'm the only one who does it, I have to.

No one else in my family will stand up to my dad only me and it's annoying because I feel like they all have a secret resentment to me. But I'm maturing SO SLOW like I look like a 12 year old and I'm 17 so obviously I'm embarrassed in school. I grew up in Palestine and a lot of family members have died, which is probably why my dad is drinking so much. And also they're bombing Lebanon, my mom is half Lebanese, so I know it's getting bad for her. Luckily no family members died there. And I get so mad when I see what's going on and it's making me more depressed than I already am. And I moved from France to the US which has made me want to die because I loved France but here it's horrible. I really miss my family, here we only have one aunt and a few cousins who I'm not super close with. I'm not on any medication, but I want to be, but I don't think my parents will pay me to get a therapist, so I don't know what to do.

I don't have any friends in school, and I hate how introverted and wayyy too quiet I am. I hate my social anxiety and I hate my anxiety in all. I do have one friend that I feel superrrr comfortable around but she is literally crazy, like I think bipolar right? Also I don't really want to be close friends with a girl because I don't want to end up dating someone. IM NOT GAY just not ready to be in a relationship, so I'm trying to distance myself from this friend, also because she's a HORRIBLE influence. She does all sorts of things, like she smokes, she goes to parties, she drinks a lott, and she did coke one time. And I fold under pressure so I'm trying to not you know like hang around her too much. And I don't smoke/vape to be cool I only do it to escape because home life is so so sooo hard.

And I feel so bad for my younger siblings so I try hard to be there for them, like my younger brother always has these nightmares and bro it's honestly annoying but my mom and my dad won't comfort him so either I or my other siblings do. Like I feel like a parent should do that. I always feel way to deeply and it makes me super depressed and anxious, and a lot of adults say that Tiktok is what's making teens anxious, BUT I DONT HAVE THE APP. I don't know how to cure my anxiety and depression and I don't know how to get my mom out of bed. She barely did anything anyway before she went into this breakdown. Ok anyway that's it. Thanks everyone have a good day. 🙏🙏🙌👋👋

Okay so basically my dad is a covert narcissist so he's super fake and literally acts like a woman. He's so weak and purposefully pits us against each other. Like he'll not do much to punish me (sometimes) infront of my brother so that my brother has to be like "oh you're no parenting that spoiled brat" (mind you I'm the kid with the least disfunction, at least I think so but I guess not). My dad has three emotions, creepy fakeness that tries to act like the victim by trying to act like a 5 year old, seriousness that almost makes him seem neurodivergent (he is though), and being agro (I don't know if you get what I'm saying but it's basically angry but in like a slightly passive way is the way we describe it).

And he changes emotions really fast, like he'll realize oh I shouldn't be saying this because my daughter can use it against me with the judge (my parents are settling a divorce from 2018!!!) But other times my dad will get mad at me (gaslight me, manipulate me, get agro) and yeah, but he mostly doesn't punish me so that my brother can get mad, causing a hatred between the two of us. And since my dad acts like a woman, a literal coward actually, she has to be "hard". We grew up with her screaming like screeching on the phone with my dad while he was calm, or screaming at us to go to bed. And she said that she had to be the father, but it's getting better now because we're going a weekend with my dad and week days with my mom, so basically my mom doesn't have to let him in her house anymore, making her much more calm.

And I've always noticed my mom puts specific labels over each of her kids, and everything we do she sees through the lens of the label. My sister it was that she was the mean girl, so anything she did my mom would immediately be like oh she's so mean she's so awful, even though my sister barely did anything. Sometimes she just told us to stop doing something annoying. This probably drove my sister to resent my mother and move in with my dad. And now with me, it's that I'm the loud one, the mean one, the bitchy one. Everything. All because she originally gave favorites to my brother. And I SPECIFICALLY remember the years when my mom and brother would GANG UP ON ME. A 50 year old woman mind you...And I remember growing SO hard and cold from that.

I started getting more rude and reactive, you know instead of playing a game with my brother I'd tell him to stop. And then my mom was like "What ever happened to the sweet, gentle (my name)?" LIKE YOU LITERALLY HATE ME! Anyway, I also remember my brother calling me the b word, my dad did nothing, and my mom does nothing. My mom also always calls her girls the b word, but my brother is perfect and got called NOTHING HE NEVER GETS IN F ING TROUBLE!!!!! So I'm guessing that raised my brother to also call me the B word, and no one does anything. I've told my mom probably over 100 times (seriously) like please please please please please just stick up for me. Please I hate this. I will literally SOB LIIKE CRYING HARD and she, in the moment, will be like Oh of course of course. And the next few days she acts the exact same.

But if I cry too much she gets mad, so I get scared. And that was years ago, and you know what? IT STILL HASNT CHANGED! So I completely gave up on talking to my mom about that, because it's just embarrasing and I hate looking affected by it, I hate looking weak so so much. And when my dad is manipulating or gaslighting etc etc to me, I know EXACTLY how to handle it. I'm calm, and speak in an almost like therapist like voice. And my brother is a WEAK ABSOULTE KISS ASS IT"S SO FUNNY HE CAN'T STICK UP FOR HIMSELF AT ALL!!!! But I can, and he gets mad and thinks that my dad "isn't parenting me" because I get what I want BECAUSE I ask, I explain, not because I'm spoiled AT ALL!!!

I'm sooo grateful, but because I talk about it with my dad in therapy, I tell my dad all the things, I have my own issues. And so today in the car my dad was mad at me for taking too long to gather my things from my mom's house to go to his. And again in my super calm voice we were talking, and my brother went like "Dad's doing blank blank blank because you're being a bitch so just shut the f up." And yet I'm the one who has anger issues... And I didn't care because this happens constantly, and the best thing to do is just not care, which was easy for me, but my dad did shit like usual. Didn't do anything. And despite me acting like I don' care it all affects me so so so much. And when I told my mom later in the day (reminder I do love my mom so so so much and we're BEST FRIENDS!!! I just feel like she thinks she's not doing anything wrong, she's just blinded by my brother being amazing), I was on the phone with her.

And so she was like "(His name) did you call your sister a b i t c h (she said it like that rather than just saying the word)?" And he answered like a stupid puberty boy trying so hard to have morning voice. I can't even remember but it was just like yeah, but like, for a reason. And my mom was like "What was the reason?" in the sweetest voice ever. and he said cause I was being disrespectful (He called my dad a horrible parent while I was being completely calm, expressing my feelings, no insults, no condescending tone) and I didn't quite hear what my mom said but I did hear my brother call me a bitch again, and she didn't do anything. I'm guessing she walked away, and like 10 seconds later he was like dad's here, and my mom was like Bye love you!

AS IF HE DIDN'T JUST CALL ME A BITCH! She never yells at him, and to be honest with me and my sister she acts like a man, she yells at me when I do NOTHING WRONG, she doesn't like it when I cry TOO much, but with my brother she'll try and act more feminine. It's weird and giving pick me energy. Like she won't yell at my brother and anytime I tell him to stop or something or remotely talk slightly louder she'll be like don't yell at him! My brother always gets the front seat, my mother never protects me at least not in the way that's affective at all, my brother can say "If (my name) is in the front seat (when we're picking him up from school), I'm gonna throw her out the car, and my mom does shit she'll just act like she's so feminine and dainty like she's tired of this (continues to blame me for all my anger). Yeah this is normal life for me.

So after school everyday I have to walk to my dad's just because I don't want to be in the same car as him. When my brother comes into my room when my mom and I are laughing together in bed and I tell him to get out (IN A VERY CALM VOICE I JUST KEEP REPEATING MYSELF VERY CALMLY) she'll be like "Ohh oh my god oh, jeez look at her all angry, (brother's name) let's go get away from her. I'm so so so tired. I've expressed this to her multiple times and nothing works.

How the hell can I possibly live with this??? What can I do? And guys when I tell you I have no ones to talk to about this. My mom doesn't do anything and just gets mad at me, my dad is going to pit us against each other, I don't have any friends at school. I can't hit my brother (he's hit me before and my mom doesn't do anything). I can't move in with my dad (remember he's a narcissist) It's like the only time I'm happy is when I'm alone or with my mom, but then I remember how my mom gives total favorites to my brother and when I express that she gets mad at me, wondering why I'm so angry, telling me I have anger issues, that I need help. Someone PLEASE!!!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DOOOO!!!! I'm so tired and I'm depressed and sad all the time. I don't know, someone please just tell me what to do. Thanks!!!

Okay so basically my dad is a covert narcissist so he's super fake and literally acts like a woman. He's so weak and purposefully pits us against each other. Like he'll not do much to punish me (sometimes) infront of my brother so that my brother has to be like "oh you're no parenting that spoiled brat" (mind you I'm the kid with the least disfunction, at least I think so but I guess not). My dad has three emotions, creepy fakeness that tries to act like the victim by trying to act like a 5 year old, seriousness that almost makes him seem neurodivergent (he is though), and being agro (I don't know if you get what I'm saying but it's basically angry but in like a slightly passive way is the way we describe it).

And he changes emotions really fast, like he'll realize oh I shouldn't be saying this because my daughter can use it against me with the judge (my parents are settling a divorce from 2018!!!) But other times my dad will get mad at me (gaslight me, manipulate me, get agro) and yeah, but he mostly doesn't punish me so that my brother can get mad, causing a hatred between the two of us. And since my dad acts like a woman, a literal coward actually, she has to be "hard". We grew up with her screaming like screeching on the phone with my dad while he was calm, or screaming at us to go to bed. And she said that she had to be the father, but it's getting better now because we're going a weekend with my dad and week days with my mom, so basically my mom doesn't have to let him in her house anymore, making her much more calm.

And I've always noticed my mom puts specific labels over each of her kids, and everything we do she sees through the lens of the label. My sister it was that she was the mean girl, so anything she did my mom would immediately be like oh she's so mean she's so awful, even though my sister barely did anything. Sometimes she just told us to stop doing something annoying. This probably drove my sister to resent my mother and move in with my dad. And now with me, it's that I'm the loud one, the mean one, the bitchy one. Everything. All because she originally gave favorites to my brother. And I SPECIFICALLY remember the years when my mom and brother would GANG UP ON ME. A 50 year old woman mind you...And I remember growing SO hard and cold from that.

I started getting more rude and reactive, you know instead of playing a game with my brother I'd tell him to stop. And then my mom was like "What ever happened to the sweet, gentle (my name)?" LIKE YOU LITERALLY HATE ME! Anyway, I also remember my brother calling me the b word, my dad did nothing, and my mom does nothing. My mom also always calls her girls the b word, but my brother is perfect and got called NOTHING HE NEVER GETS IN F ING TROUBLE!!!!! So I'm guessing that raised my brother to also call me the B word, and no one does anything. I've told my mom probably over 100 times (seriously) like please please please please please just stick up for me. Please I hate this. I will literally SOB LIIKE CRYING HARD and she, in the moment, will be like Oh of course of course. And the next few days she acts the exact same.

But if I cry too much she gets mad, so I get scared. And that was years ago, and you know what? IT STILL HASNT CHANGED! So I completely gave up on talking to my mom about that, because it's just embarrasing and I hate looking affected by it, I hate looking weak so so much. And when my dad is manipulating or gaslighting etc etc to me, I know EXACTLY how to handle it. I'm calm, and speak in an almost like therapist like voice. And my brother is a WEAK ABSOULTE KISS ASS IT"S SO FUNNY HE CAN'T STICK UP FOR HIMSELF AT ALL!!!! But I can, and he gets mad and thinks that my dad "isn't parenting me" because I get what I want BECAUSE I ask, I explain, not because I'm spoiled AT ALL!!!

I'm sooo grateful, but because I talk about it with my dad in therapy, I tell my dad all the things, I have my own issues. And so today in the car my dad was mad at me for taking too long to gather my things from my mom's house to go to his. And again in my super calm voice we were talking, and my brother went like "Dad's doing blank blank blank because you're being a bitch so just shut the f up." And yet I'm the one who has anger issues... And I didn't care because this happens constantly, and the best thing to do is just not care, which was easy for me, but my dad did shit like usual. Didn't do anything. And despite me acting like I don' care it all affects me so so so much. And when I told my mom later in the day (reminder I do love my mom so so so much and we're BEST FRIENDS!!! I just feel like she thinks she's not doing anything wrong, she's just blinded by my brother being amazing), I was on the phone with her.

And so she was like "(His name) did you call your sister a b i t c h (she said it like that rather than just saying the word)?" And he answered like a stupid puberty boy trying so hard to have morning voice. I can't even remember but it was just like yeah, but like, for a reason. And my mom was like "What was the reason?" in the sweetest voice ever. and he said cause I was being disrespectful (He called my dad a horrible parent while I was being completely calm, expressing my feelings, no insults, no condescending tone) and I didn't quite hear what my mom said but I did hear my brother call me a bitch again, and she didn't do anything. I'm guessing she walked away, and like 10 seconds later he was like dad's here, and my mom was like Bye love you!

AS IF HE DIDN'T JUST CALL ME A BITCH! She never yells at him, and to be honest with me and my sister she acts like a man, she yells at me when I do NOTHING WRONG, she doesn't like it when I cry TOO much, but with my brother she'll try and act more feminine. It's weird and giving pick me energy. Like she won't yell at my brother and anytime I tell him to stop or something or remotely talk slightly louder she'll be like don't yell at him! My brother always gets the front seat, my mother never protects me at least not in the way that's affective at all, my brother can say "If (my name) is in the front seat (when we're picking him up from school), I'm gonna throw her out the car, and my mom does shit she'll just act like she's so feminine and dainty like she's tired of this (continues to blame me for all my anger). Yeah this is normal life for me.

So after school everyday I have to walk to my dad's just because I don't want to be in the same car as him. When my brother comes into my room when my mom and I are laughing together in bed and I tell him to get out (IN A VERY CALM VOICE I JUST KEEP REPEATING MYSELF VERY CALMLY) she'll be like "Ohh oh my god oh, jeez look at her all angry, (brother's name) let's go get away from her. I'm so so so tired. I've expressed this to her multiple times and nothing works.

How the hell can I possibly live with this??? What can I do? And guys when I tell you I have no ones to talk to about this. My mom doesn't do anything and just gets mad at me, my dad is going to pit us against each other, I don't have any friends at school. I can't hit my brother (he's hit me before and my mom doesn't do anything). I can't move in with my dad (remember he's a narcissist) It's like the only time I'm happy is when I'm alone or with my mom, but then I remember how my mom gives total favorites to my brother and when I express that she gets mad at me, wondering why I'm so angry, telling me I have anger issues, that I need help. Someone PLEASE!!!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DOOOO!!!! I'm so tired and I'm depressed and sad all the time. I don't know, someone please just tell me what to do. Thanks!!!

Okay so I was driving to work and I saw a bunch of people outside an abortion clinic protesting to ban abortions. And it just really pissed me off because these same people will defend Israel and claim it has the right to exist while Israel is basically incinerating little children in Gaza. This people will also support Trump while he's raped and EATEN little babies. It really irked me the whole day and when I discussed it with my coworker he disagreed with me! I tried explaining it to him but he's just not the smartest, so I'm hoping some people can discuss/debate this with me. Do you agree or disagree?

OK so I'm a sophmore in highschool and I don't really have any friends. I moved in September from France to a US school with my family and been here since. I'm really quiet and introverted, i go the whole day without talking sometimes, and i like it. But it does get lonely. I guess I kind of have friends like i sit with them at lunch and stuff but i don't talk to them at all because they just don't notice me, but I get it because i am the one not speaking. but there's this one girl who does talk to me, but I think she's kind of bad for me. I have cut my arms and thighs since i was 12 or something. And I haven't told anyone at school, no one knows in school because i wear long jackets and pants. but she found out. she just seems so natural i feel like i can tell her anything. and when she told me she cuts herself i admitted i do to and she pulled my jacket up. She lets everyone see her scars while I'm too embarrassed to show mine. I feel like she's going to tell someone, but it's just a feeling i don't know. but she's so chill about it like it's not a big deal, she seems crazy. and i told her i am trying to stop, but the more im around her the more i want to cut and the more she like encourages it.

she also drinks and wants me to drink a lot, like when i should be walking home from school she walks with me to her "secret spot" and gives me some alcohol. i do drink sometimes from her bottle. she always wants me to drink a lot, but i dont, but im scared i might pressure into. i know its bad. and this is bad to but i did smoke cigarettes sometimes in France because home life is bad and i need an escape, but again she encorages it and got me into vaping to. I still smoke cigarettes but I vape more, and I feel like its got worse. And she smokes marijana which i did once with her, and i remember feeling dizzy because i was a bit high and she started getting closer to me and kind of doing not appropriate things i shouldn't say idk. but fortuneately i was not very high and was able to you know understand what was going on and i think she knew that because she backed off. I thought it was really inappropriate of her and it made me feel very uncomfortable and I said it the next day but she kind of brushed me off. The more days that go on the more I want to break off, but i never do.

She'll also say things about my dad like calling him disrespectful things and yeah my dad is abusive or whatever but she can't say disrespectful things about my dad. she'll always make fun of me for being a virgin and calls me innocent and its so annoying because i already feel like im a failure and i don't want to be pressured into sleeping with someone. Also it makes me feel very uncomfortable. im just not into girls yet no im not gay i'm maturing wayyyy slower than all the other boys. and she knows already that i don't like how young i look but she makes fun of it anyway. she makes innapropriate jokes and it feels- i dont know how to explain, like she means it. i dont know ,she'll sometimes get too close and i tell her stop, but i feel akward doing it like it embarrasses to me. Makes me VERY uncomfortable. Also she can turn into my humor, and then have different humor with someone else, it's confusing.

But she'll also switch up, like she's nice (majority of the time) and then she's mean, and then she's playful. i dont know. she's the only one who i can laugh around and feel like me around, but she's not a good girl in my opinion. i dont know, school is hard, home is worse, and i hate myself for being like this. please someone give me some tips on how to stop cutting, smoking, vaping, and tell me if this girl is a bad person. Sorry if my English is bad bro i swear i speak better than i write. Thank you and I can answer any questions

Ok so I'm a sophmore in highschool and I don't really have any friends. I moved in September from France to a school in the US with my family and been here since. I'm really quiet and introverted, i go the whole day without talking sometimes, and i like it. But it does get lonely. I guess I kind of have friends like i sit with them at lunch and stuff but i don't talk to them at all because they just don't notice me, but I get it because i am the one not speaking. but there's this one girl who does talk to me, but I think she's kind of bad for me. I have cut my arms and thighs since i was 12 or something. And I haven't told anyone at school, no one knows in school because i wear long jackets and pants. but she found out. she just seems so natural i feel like i can tell her anything. and when she told me she cuts herself i admitted i do to and she pulled my jacket up. She lets everyone see her scars while I'm too embarrassed to show mine. I feel like she's going to tell someone, but it's just a feeling i don't know. but she's so chill about it like it's not a big deal, she seems crazy. and i told her i am trying to stop, but the more im around her the more i want to cut and the more she like encourages it.

she also drinks and wants me to drink a lot, like when i should be walking home from school she walks with me to her "secret spot" and gives me some alcohol. i do drink sometimes from her bottle. she always wants me to drink a lot, but i dont, but im scared i might pressure into. i know its bad. and this is bad to but i did smoke cigarettes sometimes in France because home life is bad and i need an escape, but again she encorages it and got me into vaping to. I still smoke cigarettes but I vape more, and I feel like its got worse. And she smokes marijana which i did once with her, and i remember feeling dizzy because i was a bit high and she started getting closer to me and kind of doing not appropriate things i shouldn't say idk. but fortuneately i was not very high and was able to you know understand what was going on and i think she knew that because she backed off. I thought it was really inappropriate of her and it made me feel very uncomfortable and I said it the next day but she kind of brushed me off. The more days that go on the more I want to break off, but i never do.

She'll also say things about my dad like calling him disrespectful things and yeah my dad is kind of harsh and whatever but she can't say disrespectful things about my dad. she'll always make fun of me for being a virgin and calls me innocent and its so annoying because i already feel like im a failure and i don't want to be pressured into sleeping with someone. Also it makes me feel very uncomfortable. im just not into girls yet no im not gay i'm maturing wayyyy slower than all the other boys. and she knows already that i don't like how young i look but she makes fun of it anyway. she makes innapropriate jokes and it feels- i dont know how to explain, like she means it. i dont know ,she'll sometimes get too close and i tell her stop, but i feel akward doing it like it embarrasses to me. Makes me VERY uncomfortable. Also she can turn into my humor, and then have different humor with someone else, it's confusing.

But she'll also switch up, like she's nice (majority of the time) and then she's mean, and then she's playful. i dont know. she's the only one who i can laugh around and feel like me around, but she's not a good girl in my opinion. i dont know, school is hard, home is worse, and i hate myself for being like this. please someone give me some tips on how to stop cutting, smoking, vaping, and tell me if this girl is a bad person. Sorry if my English is bad bro i swear i speak better than i write. Thank you and I can answer any questions