u/AutumnsFall101

To: Fazbear Electronics and Machinery Division

From: Blaine Kowinski

Subject: Security System Issue

Good Afternoon,

This is Blaine with Fazbear PR. Uh, today we had an “incident” regarding the security system at the Seattle location. As you know after what happened in the past, we had the toys upgraded to have a database of known criminals in the state, and with the goal of protecting the children who enter our establishments. Well, a man by the name of James Daley attempted to abduct his daughter during her birthday after a restraining order was put on him by his ex-wife. Toy Freddy…he kind freaked out. It took 6 employed to pull him off the guy. Guy has permanent brain damage after Freddy accidentally hit him on the side of the head. I think we need to get a software update for Freddy to have him help solve “incidents” more subtly or passively. We are lucky that mom doesn’t want to press charges. We can’t rely on luck for next time. It puts a lot of people at risk.

Please start working on a software update for all animatronics as soon as possible.

Yours,

Blaine Kowinski, Director of Marketing and Public Relations

To: Fazbear Electronics and Machinery Division

From: Blaine Kowinski

Subject: Toy Chica Design

Hello from Fazbear PR and Marketing,

We have gotten feedback on the designs for the new animatronics. While feedback has been generally positive from both test audiences as well as shareholders, there has been some issue with the current design for “Toy Chica”. Mainly that she is seen as being more “sensually charged” than the other redesigns. We are wondering how quickly we can push out a redesign that is more similar to the old design before the 87 deadline. Mainly I am proposing we make her body more inline with the other animatronics and either have her in a full dress or just ditch clothing all together so she is just an anthropomorphic chicken.

Also while the design of Toy Foxy is generally well liked, I was wondering if we can recolor him to a more masculine red. People think he looks like a girl.

Yours,

Blaine Kowinski, Director of Marketing

Fazbear Entertainment

To: Fazbear Entertainment - Design and Animation Divison

From: Blaine Kowinski

Subject: Roxanne Issue

Dear Design and Animation,

I know you guys are working hard on both the new show and the total rebrand from Fredbears after “the incident”. I am loving the new design for Freddy, Chica, Bonnie and Foxie. However I want to contat you about some “issues” regarding the show. The FCC is on my back about this wolf character. Roxanne. I know we got the rights from MCM, and she’s a preexisting character and all. But the suits at the FCC have big issue with her in particular. 1. They feel her personality and “punk lifestyle”. They want the punk theme stripped entirely. Second, I know this is going to be deeply unpopular. They have issue with some of the pilot script regarding her “alternative lifestyle”. They also are deeply opposed to the possibility of her and Chica developing a “deeper relationship”. Again, I know this is deeply unpopular considering that this character is a bit of a baby of the department. But either she needs to be toned down or she will not get aired. Don’t shoot the messenger, I am just telling you on behalf of the FCC and the marketing department. Especially with the whole concerns with the AIDS crisis. I think we can still get her in as a character. We just have to get her with either Freddy or Foxy. Alternatively we just do not mention her relationship with anyone.

The ball is currently in your court. I will leave the decision up to you.

Yours,

Blaine Kowinski, Director of Marketing

Freddy Fazbear Entertainment

Credit to Original Artist: https://www.instagram.com/p/DGjMZWEz03W/

So…uh. Turns out people feel VERY strongly about Roxy. Uh, they found out where I worked. At some point yesterday they throw molotov cocktails in for “hurting baby girl” in the words of one DM.

So uh, now I am working full time as an employee for Fazbear.

So I have gotten a job at the local Fazbear Mega Pizza Plex. I am mostly doing it to get dirt on them as I am secretly the owner of a local Chuck E Cheese. I know about the allegations regarding missing children. My job is working in maintenance. Keeping robots in shape. My mechanic knowledge is limited beyond fixing up old cars back when I helped repair cars at my Dad’s shop.

But man, these people are weird about the animatronics. I was walking to repair some arcade machines with my co-worker Davy when this tin can ran into me, keep repeating something among the lines of “everyone hates me”, “I am not good enough”. I told her “watch where you’re going clanker”.

Davy looked at me like I just called someone a slur. He said “dude, you can’t say that”. I told him “are you getting offended on a robot’s behalf”.

Well later that day I get called into HR for my “insensitive remarks towards our performers”.

So yeah, the people who work here are weird.

You don’t mess with people’s livelihood and think you can get away with it. A clip from a good horror movie is all you need to bring a corporation down. It was nice to see this company not be in control for once.

Beware Fazbear.

I will strike again.

My name is James Redsonn Jr. My family has owned the local Akron Chuck E Cheese for decades. My Uncle Managed it, then my cousin and then me. For decades we have been a staple of the community. For decades we have made it a place where a kid could be a kid. But thanks to the that Bear Bastard, we are at risk of closing.

This leviathan of a franchise location, this fucking pizza-plex or whatever they call it is destroying the local businesses that made this city great. How many more Mom and Pop shops have to go bankrupt before our leaders and politicians open their eyes to the harm Fazbear Entertainment has done to our local economy?

That’s why this Saturday, join me at the upcoming town meeting to demand the city shut this restaurant down.

“What if we took the most annoying gadget from Support, greatly expanded it’s range, gave you functionally infinite ammo, gave you the ability to tank one or two anti tank grenades, and gave you a machine gun for good measure”

*Dice when summoning the artillery truck from the depths of hell*

I could be playing the friendliest game of BF1 with you. I could be having a great time. But the nano second you pick this abomination, you are no longer my friend. I hate you more than any enemy I have in real life.

If Hitler and the average artillery truck user were the same room and I had a gun with two bullets. I’d shoot Hitler twice before beating the artillery truck user to death with said gun.

The artillery truck is a crutch for either bad support players or bad scouts (depending on if you or the mortar truck or armored artillery truck accordingly). All they do is sit in the back of the map and bomb the checkpoint. God forbid they get closer to the check point to actually destroy the enemy vehicles or hit enemy snipers. Nope. Just take pot shots at the check point from the other side of the map like an absolute coward.

It’s just not fun to play against and even if I or someone else is able to actually destroy them (assuming they aren’t firing from out of bounds) then it’s only a matter of time before they respawn.

Now before any 100 star artillery truck mains come on here to sputter some shit about “skill issue”:

1. Yeah I “could” easily destroy you. But again, you hide at the back of the map and you don’t actually contribute to the game. You are just annoying to deal with and by the time I actually destroy you, you will probably just instantly spawn back in with another one.

So, if you use this vehicle in BF1 at the very least feel shame.