u/BackstabbingBerries

I was never a great sleeper, but lately I have been sleeping until 3:00/4:00 am and it is ruining me. The thing is, I have CPTSD and chronic depression. I already take sleep meds.

I have a meeting with an Endometriosis specialist soon (I also have Endo, refused BC) and I am ready to ask for birth control, I don't think that they'll give me something else, because I'm considered fairly young in that regard.

I'm terrified of my mood. It's already in the gutter, but I am being bullied by neighbours (not USA) which also causes me to lose sleep, I'm stressed, I'm scared that I will react in a hostile way and then it will get worse, etc.

Sorry, I am rambling, it's been a sleepless week. I think that I might be in Peri, I have more symptoms, but I am terrified of becoming incapable of controlling my depression, anxiety and sometimes rage.

What's your experience with BC? Thanks.

I live in the top floor apartment of an old building without sound insulation. I'm not in an English speaking country, so not much that I can do.

Anyway, I can hear my downstairs neighbours loud and clear. And they are aware of that. It's been six miserable months of losing sleep and sanity. I'm chronically ill so I am indoors a lot. It also makes moving difficult. I already have sleep issues, but being here, I'm constantly sleep deprived.

They're a couple, and at least one of them is always home. Every hour, at least, I can hear loud bangs and thuds. Sometimes, every few minutes. I can hear them through earplugs, brown noise, ANC earbuds...

The reason that I don't drag and drop things is because my body is falling apart. They can call the police for music at night, and I want to be more subtle. Give me your best ideas for impact noises from my apartment that are simple. If there's someone automated, let me know.

I am done with them. I am done with being woken up by them, every night and morning. I'm done with being on edge and angry, too tired to function and get away from here. Sadly, there's not much I can do but move, but until then... Thank you.

I'm a frequent mover due to sensory issues, so I never really feel at home. I don't want to invest in a place that I just want to leave. I had a traumatic event that was related to housing a few years back that started all this.

Anyway, I barely have furniture and it's all old and unimpressive. Furniture is expensive and I can't assemble it myself or move it because of physical disability.

I just looked at my current rental, it looks pretty empty and whatever I own looks just meh, but I'd rather save money. I don't know. I guess that I looked in interior design subreddits and I just feel totally unrelated to that.

Is anyone else in a similar position?

I feel like I talk too much. Too many words, too much information, when others reply shortly.

I don't have any meaningful conversations, to be honest.

I actually am thinking about leaving a group chat of ND women because I am one of the few who shares and sometimes I feel like I share too much. Others will comment, but most of them will drop a reply every once in a while or just not comment at all. And I don't feel less lonely, I just feel exposed.

The thing is, that they didn't do anything wrong. And leaving is what I always do when it gets too much. I don't know how to stop, even when I tell myself that I should journal or vent online. I never learned how to communicate without saying too much. And I know that I don't owe them a thing (we're not really friends. Which is I guess is the problem, I don't have friends).

How do I learn to comment less or just... Not giving all the information about myself when some of them aren't giving anything (information) in return? I'm asking generally because I feel like I'm doing it every single time and it doesn't matter who. I need to stop.