My girlfriend(30F) and I(27M) are worried about a possible pregnancy even though she had a bilateral salpingectomy a year ago. And our conversation about it didnt end well, how can I navigate this without making her feel rejected?
My girlfriend and I started a relationship a month ago. She is a mother of a 9-year-old, and before we started dating, she warned me about it. I felt weird at first, but surprisingly, I fell in love with the kid and feel relaxed when he is around. My gf told me that she almost died having him, and years later, she got surgery to not have children anymore. Also, she has endometrosis and PMOS, so her chance of having a baby is pretty unlikely. But she told me she hasn't had her period in almost 2 months already, and she is worried she might be pregnant.
She asked me how I feel about her being pregnant, and I felt scared and panicked, and told her that I don't want children of my own. And I asked her if it came to that, if she would want an abortion, and she said no, and felt hurt by the way I said it. She told me that it doesnt make sense that I don't want kids when she already has one 24/7, and I didn't know how to respond to that. I just don't want kids, and I'm fine being a step-father in the future.
I feel bad because the way I asked her, and the timing, was horrible, and I feel guilty because I hurt her. We were on the phone, and my mind just went blank, and she was waiting for me to say something, but I felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to say.