shit so gross can't help
Hi,I'm 21F
I just wanted to share something because I'm feeling so overwhelmed and helpless that I can barely think straight.
I'm in a relationship with this man 25M
It's been a couple of months since my previous relationship ended. After my ex, I wasn't ready for another commitment, but he pursued me, proposed to me, and did everything he could to convince me to be with him.
When we started dating, I was okay with everything, but I wasn't giving my whole heart to the relationship. I don't know why, but there was something inside me that kept holding me back. I was serious about him and genuinely wanted to be with him, but after what happened with my ex, I was terrified of getting my heart broken again. Because of that, I tried to give him space. I didn't ask too many questions or express too many emotions because I didn't want him to feel trapped in the relationship, and I didn't want to burden him with my feelings.
However, he constantly complained that I didn't text him enough, didn't ask about him, and wasn't concerned about him. But whenever I tried to change that and show more care, concern, or affection, he would disrespect me. The disrespect was so hurtful. Whenever I told him that his behavior was hurting me, he would laugh at me, send laughing emojis, and tell me that I was playing the victim card.
Recently, he didn't reply to me for an entire day and didn't text me the next day either. I became anxious and worried. I called and texted him because I genuinely didn't know what was going on. I even told him that I didn't want to bother him and that if he needed space, he could simply let me know and I would stop texting.
Instead of understanding where I was coming from, he completely dismissed my feelings. He said things like, "If I'm not replying, you're not getting attention," "You just need attention," "You don't deserve to know anything," and "Just go away, bro." nd like alot of things before like cheater,munafiq nd alot I tolerated everything,if I dont ask he would still fight that Yu didn't ask me like idk
So, I told him that I was hurt and worried. I told him that I had a right to check on him and ask if he was okay. But instead of listening, he laughed and accused me of lying. He found my pain amusing.
The truth is that I was anxious because I have abandonment issues. When he disappeared without any explanation, I genuinely thought he had left me. He never stopped to consider how that might affect me emotionally.
This isn't the first time. He constantly insults me, attacks my character, and says hurtful things without any reason. If I do something, he finds a reason to fight with me. If I don't do something, he still finds a reason to fight with me. No matter what happens, I end up being blamed and accused.
I'm deeply hurt, and I honestly don't know how to handle myself anymore. Part of me knows that it's time to leave, but I'm struggling with that reality. Right now, I feel exhausted, broken, and disappointed in myself for allowing this situation to affect me so deeply.
Now in end he said go away bro , nd I said okay I j wants to not be w him anymore and to accept this all nd nvr wanted to look back j need lil help