u/BassLive6506

I have insane RJ and i feel like it’s ruining my good 6 months relationship F18 . My boyfriend M20 probably has RJ too but he never voices his feelings or opinions. In his past he wasn’t attractive, not a dig, just context, he was never into girls or clubbing just his sport and his academia. I however am a party girl through and through and grew up with a lot of male attention. I don’t know why i craved male validation at a young age but being on dating apps and social media and clubbing at 16 onwards resulted in a “body count” of 20. Not all were sex however some were just hookups i.e other sexual activities. I am not proud of this at all as most were drunk or me thinking it would lead to a relationship but just turned into a sneaky link. I wish i never done it.

He has only slept with one person and it was a drunken one night stand at a club a year ago. I think about his encounter all the time. I don’t know why. Do u think he thinks about my past? I always consume over it and obsess over it. Like what if she was better than me what if they had fun what if he remembers his first sexual encounter well or fantasised about her. Just me imagining the whole process of them talking then hooking up consumes my mind and i get angry and feel sick. How is he so strong that he doesn’t bring up my past or tell me he thinks about it. I don’t ever think about my own past though because i regret every single one, apart from my boyfriend as before as i was dumb and naive. I also obsess over the two talking stages he had which were meaningless and both lasted mere weeks when i know deep down i spoke to guys for years and spoke to over 300 guys over my teenage years. Is it hypocritical that i get annoyed over his minuscule past whilst mine is horrific id say. Or is it just me being upset imagining him with another girl instead of me. I know what these girls look like/ stalk their social media’s. He doesn’t know who any of mine are maybe that’s why he’s so unbothered.

How do i get over obsessing over that one girl he lost his virginity over and why am i annoyed about it more than i’d be if his body count was high? I’ve spoke to guys with high body counts and i didn’t care so why is this one bothering me so much.

Please any kind advice would be appreciated please remeber i have just turned 18 im new to relationships and rj is a new feeling to me.

Am i the asshole for wanting my boyfriend to either let me and my friends go on holiday the same time as one of his party holidays or for him to cancel one and come on holiday with me?? Is telling him to cancel it doing too much because this has caused some tension between us.

For context we both work, both make enough money. He promised me we would go away in summer as well. We both have money, i saved mine so we could go away but instead he’s booked Ibiza twice! Off sonar Barcelona and Music on Amsterdam all without me. (there’s talks of thailand next January that’s a whole other story)

He doesn’t mind coming over to mine and doing stuff when he’s free but i feel as though he doesn’t spend his free time with me and i’ve nagged him to change but he says he can’t and it’s just “who he is” he’s “a laid back guy in a relationship” He says he wants to try go away with me but he hasn’t made the action happen??

These are your typical rave party holidays, but the fact he’s excluded me just makes me annoyed. His excuse was that he’d be broke to book a holiday with me but has the capacity to spend his wage on rave party holidays with his friends. I even suggested i tag along to one of them so he wouldn’t need to pay more for me to be on holiday with him and he told me to “Behave”.

A seperate issue is just thinking this amount of partying whilst having a girlfriend at home is excessive whilst he’s out having the time of his life which is okay in moderation however this isn’t fair because it’s 4 trips and he couldn’t even come on one with me.

All his friends are single so they’re going to be around girls the whole time as well which is a whole other story. To me he’s saying he has no money or time off but if he had just booked ours instead of his lads one the he would.

I’m not saying don’t go on holiday with ur mates i just feel neglected in the sense that he’s made time and spent money to go away with them not me. He’s told me to drop it but i want to say something again especially considering he promised me we’d go away in summer and instead he’s planned these excursions.

Am i right to keep bringing it up until he changes or should i just plan my own trips.

EDIT: i really do need a greater judgement of should we stay together when it’s good it’s good but it’s bad sometimes and he is nice but his lifestyle just isn’t cutting it for me considering i’ve given up my partying for him i guess he’s a sociable guy but is it odd that he’s excluding me from these trips? it’s weird to invite ur girlfriend to ur lads holiday i get that but even opposition to me going at the same time IDK

My boyfriend plays football and he’s recently injured his above knee area so he can’t play for this week.

We were on call yesterday and he said he was waiting for his physio session to start. I never hear anything about his football so i asked “ is it a male or female” and he starts smiling off camera and laughing??!

then he says “female” and i screw my face at him mainly because of him laughing but also he’s never mentioned that to me.

Am i the asshole for saying to him that makes me uncomfortable and asking if he would like me having a male pt or masseuse??!

i understand it’s different because he cannot choose who is helping him, my reaction was just as a girlfriend and it’s more the idea of (another girl doing her job) but having to touch him in that area which is making me feel icky.

He certainly didn’t like the idea of a male masseuse doing the same to me so why is he mad i voiced this concern.

I get it’s professional and i get she is doing her job. I don’t see it as sexual or physical at all, he is very much loyal and respectful etc etc and it is a normal thing in sports and gym.

Just the idea of another woman touching him in that intimate area which makes me feel queasy. He’s mad at me now for making it into a big deal. He even sent a photo of her as in like she’s this age she isn’t my type your my type bro your my girlfriend this is a sports person doing their job stop being weird and she’s just doing her job but i think sending a photo of her is strange? because what if she was conventionally attractive or looked similar to me?? I wouldn’t be very happy then.

I am probably the asshole but it wasn’t in a way i assume he’d betray my trust or anything would happen, just more in the sense that makes me uncomfortable.

I told him in text my grandad had cancer and very bluntly he just said hope ur okay and within the same breathe he starts going “that’s fucking outrageous what the fuck is wrong with you” “your so fucking weird” i’m confused because what’s he mean and he finally after doing that for five minutes bring up something he assumes i done the other day which wasn’t actually that bad and it wasn’t me who even done it! but i just think that shows a lack of empathy i was clearly upset over my own family situation he could’ve brought this up another time it just feels very plotted and vile to do. I literally had a conversation with him before about time and a place like if he does something that bothers me i’ll wait till a good time or irl to communicate it not in the same breathe that i’ve said im so upset over that which he begged me to explain what was wrong but then goes on to attack me for something he ASSUMED i done the other day (had no relevance to cheating or lying or anything etc)

Is this warranted for a breakup?