▲ 1 r/Poems

the guardian

you be my pen.
i'll be your paper.

howl to me,
whisper to me,
confess to these thin lines.

tell me all your truths
you've never told out loud.

and if you must—
burn me,
shred me,
erase all of your thoughts.

but first—
before you destroy
what we haven't yet made

press your soul into mine.
release the ink of your heart
onto my blank pages.

even all those notes
filled with self-hatred.

i’ll be the guardian
of your mind’s darkest places.

-M.M.

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u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 12 hours ago
▲ 56 r/OldHomeRepair+3 crossposts

PLEASE HELP. There is something happening to the tongue and groove planks inside our cabin.

We have a cabin in Northern Minnesota that’s been in our family for 60 plus years.

About 4-5 years ago, we built an addition onto the existing building. Unfortunately we didn’t use a professional contractor, and we had a friend that does handy work take on the project.

In our new addition, we used tongue and groove and every single wall and all the ceilings (the flooring is LVP). We selected the wood from a large retailer, I believe it was called Blue Stain Pine or something along those lines.

Allegedly some of the wood was purchased from that establishment, but our “contractor” found a good deal on the same product from a local guy up here to buy the rest of the wood needed to complete the project. So we were under the assumption that the wood was sourced from 2 places, but now we are beginning to believe it may have all been purchased from the local guy, alone. However, that is unconfirmed.

Our handy-man friend also installed/gifted us with 2 large decorative beams (not structural), and he said he got a steal of a deal on them, and we don’t know where those were purchased from either. These beams are only located on the newer half of the cabin, along the vaulted ceilings.

In the last two months, my husband and I started noticing holes appearing through out the entire addition, NOT in the original side of the cabin.

We explored the idea that perhaps they had been there and they were just natural parts of the wood or wood boring insects from 50 years ago or from this year.

But we started paying attention and keeping a close eye on said holes, and integrity of the wood, and of course, there are more. They are appearing rapidly and at a semi-rapid pace.

The holes are in the walls, in the ceilings, and the decorative beams. They are all different shapes and sizes. Some even go all the way through the walls.

We have not really seen any droppings or saw dust like material under any of the holes. A little bit here and there, but nothing very definitive.

We haven’t seen any bugs either, we have seen some but we’ve researched every one we have found and none of them were confirmed to be pests.

Also, something worth noting, that after the first year of construction was complete, we had an extremely abnormal amount of flies in the cabin. Hundreds and hundreds of them. In our neck of the woods, some flies, midges and other bugs are inevitable up here and just comes with the territory.

And another thing worth mentioning, is that the new addition side of the cabin is cathedral style, so there is no attic above. But on the original cabin, the ceilings are standard sized and there is an attic.

Anyway— about two weeks ago, we had a corporate or franchised company come out for an inspection and possible treatment. The employee really didn’t to see have a clue of what he was talking about or to be very knowledgeable. Our family initially thought we had some sort of wood boring beetle, but the employee arrived at the conclusion of “possible carpenter bees”. That experience was an absolute dud.

Then we found a local company come back about 2 days ago, they were much more knowledgeable and familiar with their occupation. They were kind and understanding. At first they believed that there was no active infestation because there wasn’t any dusting or dropping. But the more they inspected and the more we explained, they became stumped.

We are at a total loss. Something is absolutely happening. We’ve been taping, marking, and taking photos regularly of the holes or any insect we’ve come across.

We are terrified for so many reasons, this cabin is our everything. It carries so much sentimental value and the amount of money we’ve spent building the addition would be such a shame to have to be wasted.

For anyone that reads, thank you so much. I appreciate any and all feedback. We are open to advice and suggestions. We really want to figure out what’s happening and hope to be able to stop it before it progresses into an even bigger problem.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you again.

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 2 days ago

My handwriting is legible right?

I have always had good/decent handwriting, even as a child. For the last few years I’ve mostly written in all caps and I prefer the way it looks.

I am starting to share handwritten poetry, so I’m working on spacing and consistency over anything.

I realize I have a lot to work on. I have a lot of difficulties because I write with an overly-firm grip and a lot of pressure, so much so that my hand will often ache afterwards. I don’t mean to do that, it’s just so natural for me to write that way.

Any tips on improving legibility and especially how to alleviate my grip and pressure application, are both welcomed and appreciated!

Also—I hope that anyone who does read this post enjoys the original poem I wrote :)

*Edits for typos. Which I am sure I missed plenty more.

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 14 days ago
▲ 5 r/OCD

What do you guys do when you dissociate?

I should mention I am aware of grounding techniques, tapping, deep breathing, etc. For me personally, I feel like they don’t do much. The deep breathing definitely slows my heart rate down, but mentally it’s not that effective.

My dad passed away last year on July 3rd, and I just found out my mom might be in heart failure. She lives states away, and has issues walking around because of two semi-recent knee replacements. I could go on and on about all the stress in my life and family origin but I’ll stop there.

Anyway, I’ve been dissociating a TON lately. Way more than usual. I’m assuming a lot of it’s from stress. But these feel so much different than usual. Far more intense and existential feeling, to a point where it’s very challenging to snap out of. And of course they are happening much more frequently now. They’re so extreme right now, sometimes I feel like I could physically fall over.

This is all on top of my regular OCD stuff. Which has also spiked/intensified immensely as well.

It’s becoming harder and harder to function. Nothing feels real, almost all the time. Obviously it’s and out, but it’s constant. It’s interfering with all my responsibilities. Even down to the simplest tasks. This is not a state of mind I can sustain nor manage. It’s become so overwhelming and it’s starting to scare me.

Also, I started feeling like I have bugs crawling all over my body and scalp like 80 percent of the time — which is new. And it fucking sucks.

Wondering if anyone has any tips. All feedback is welcome and appreciated. Thank you.

EDIT: Missing information.

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u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 14 days ago
▲ 66 r/Agates

*REPOST WITH BETTER PICTURE QUALITY* Is this an agate?

I posted this about a week or so ago. At the time I was in the car on the way home, so the photos weren’t very clear and the lighting was poor. I took a better look at the rock today in the sun and I’m even more blown away by all the details I missed and didn’t capture.

In my original post, I had many comments with lots of varying opinions/feedback and I’m curious of what they could be now or if they’ve changed at all after seeing it with more clarity.

Thanks friends!

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 21 days ago

Lake Superior Agate found in MN today. I’m here for the band 🪨🤘🏼🌋

Found in a local river rock bed, in Minnesota.

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 22 days ago

Could I actually be lucky? I have found so many in the last few days!

I found my first four-leaf clover last week-ish, on May 30th. I wasn’t really searching for one, but kind of was and just happened to spot it. Since then I’ve found 20 four-leaf clovers at 3 different locations and have probably spent less than 2 hours total looking.

Today I bent down and found 2 pretty quickly, and right after that found my first 5-leaf clover!

Is this normal once you find your first one and kind of know what you’re looking for, or is this unusually lucky? I’ve gone my whole life never finding one and now they’re suddenly everywhere. I know there’s psychology behind spotting things and the trained eye, etc. But I am feeling lucky and having so much fun! 🤩

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 23 days ago

Found my very first four-leaf clover today!

I just recently came across this sub in the last few days and joined — I love any and all nature. This morning I told myself I was going to find one, and I’ve never really looked before… I looked around on and off briefly throughout the day while doing yard work, then looked through a few patches for about 20 minutes towards the end of the day, and boom! So lucky 🍀

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 1 month ago
▲ 214 r/bookshelf

I’m pretty proud of this :)

It’s still a work in progress — lots of organizing to do. But I’m pretty happy with the way it’s been coming along so far!

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 2 months ago
▲ 51 r/Agates

She’s small but she’s mighty. The characteristics are so visually insane to look at. Stunning. Lucky first pluck!

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 2 months ago
▲ 118 r/Agates

I forgot how much of a rush agate hunting is 😆 happy the nice weather is here 🤘🏼🌋

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 2 months ago

I’m hoping it’s just from some mild stress from the transplant. This is my first grow — so I’m no pro, but I’m trying to do everything by the books. These were in solo cups rooted in Tupur soil with a small layer of Ocean Forest at the bottom. I moved these over to two gallon buckets on Sunday night. They seemed to react well. I had the light intensity at 2 then 3 as of two days ago. The distance between light and canopy is roughly 23 inches or so. They were transplanted in to a new mixture of 60% of Tupur, 30% Ocean Forest and 10% perlite. I’m positive I haven’t been overwatering. And I don’t see how this could be light or nute burn, and I don’t think any of them would be nutrient deficient considering they were introduced to their fist small dose of Ocean Forest in their first cups and I only mixed in a bit more of that for their new pots.

Any thoughts?

These are all photos and 1 reg on 18/6 rn.

u/Beautiful-Cow-3118 — 2 months ago