u/BeforeTheDawnX

This is, of course, just a theory and I have had many over the years, but this one doesn't seem to have come up.

So, Andrew heads to London for the day, and his intention is to do exactly as his Dad predicted. He is going to rock up at one of the houses of the people he knows in London, and stay over there. Emergency over, problem solved, parents just happy to know he is safe and well.

So this goes to plan initially, he does whatever he wanted to do and turns up at this persons house, family member etc. And then the theory goes in one of two directions.

Either something happens when they enter the home of this person, or, the person isn't in and Andrew is stuck outside and a neighbour of this trusted person invites them in out of the cold, and then something happens.

So, if I was the police I would be looking at the people Andrew knew in London, whether they had any lodgers etc at the time, and also their neighbours at the time and whether those neighbours have since have been convicted of anything since then.

The likelihood is still, even now, that if Andrew was murdered, he was murdered by someone he knew, it's why the police were so focussed on the Dad. Maybe the Police were right, but just looking in the wrong place.

I've recently left a friends group after a new female member of the group showed some worrying signs. She laid a victim story before joining the group and claims she is the victim of narcissistic abuse and that her husband has turned the courts against her, which has led to her losing custody of her children. In the short time of joining the group she put forth the possibility that one of our friends may have spiked her drink after turning up paralytically drunk to our first group visit to a day time disco. When that didn't stick she then latched onto me and has repeatedly warped conversations we have had, saying I don't believe her story, telling friends I have upset her. She told me she was angry but refused to tell me over the phone or by message but when we meet it seems like an excuse as she is flirtatious. I had a gut feeling there was an issue and at a party she suddenly started being horrible about a female friend, whereupon I stopped her in her tracks. After this I kept my distance but she then decided to come along one night to an evening where just me and the man she suggested may have spiked her drink was present. Everything seemed to be fine until she asked for a lift home and she got outside. She changed. She seemed angry again and I asked her if she was okay said "I'm angry with you" yet once again refused to tell me and then said "If I tell you, you are just going to do someone to make me angry again". On the car journey she flipped, and became incredibly nasty, twisting my words once again and even accusing me of trying to set her up with my friend when all I said was "He is a nice guy", then to top it all off she said that it was obvious I liked her friend, that everyone could see, that her friend (A good friend of mine) was interested in another guy and that "She would never be interested in someone like you, so get that out of your head".

I was so angry and upset that she could say such hurtful things but kept why cool, calmly went through each of her criticisms, said she had been incredibly rude and she said "I know" and dropped her off. I felt so unsafe when I got home I videoed myself to prove I was home and called a friend, who has been very supportive since then.

I had a complete meltdown as I realised what was happening. I tried to reach out to two very close female friends after the event. I tried to point out the numerous red flags (far more than mentioned here) but they continued to excuse her behaviour. A few days later I received what appeared to be an AI generated apology, saying she was shocked at her own behaviour and once again asking me to meet up to explain. I refused, set a clear boundary that she was welcome to hang out with other friends but I wanted distance. She then responded saying that she was leaving the group and then dropped the bombshell that she felt there was a "Worrying dynamic" between us and left our whatsapp group which was obviously visible to everyone.

I immediately could see what she was doing, but my female friends flipped on me and said I was trying to manipulate people against her. So I made the decision to walk away. I feel bad because I fawned and questioned my own version of events and even apologised to one of my friends.

But now, a few weeks on, I can see how serious the situation was and how incredibly devious and manipulative she was. She had already begun to make me question myself by saying things like when she says she doesn't want to talk about something and says "Don't ask" that she does.

I have received an apology from one of my female friends simply saying "I'm sorry". I was on holiday at the time and simply said she had nothing to apologise for and said I had learned a lot from the experience.

It's crazy how this all happened so quickly. I realised the more I tried to prove my innocence it would make me look guilty and the only thing I could do was go no contact with this woman as anything I did or said would be used against me. I feel relieved more than anything, my exit was definitely not the best but I realised I was trying to push back the tide.

Anyone got any advice? Was it me? I keep thinking I got this all wrong and I'm the bad guy

I am a middle aged man. We had a middle aged woman join our group of friends (of around 20 people) several months ago. I was taken in and actually tried to help and support her but it has been nothing but trouble. From the beginning there were issues, an accusation of drink spiking (towards another male who is definitely innocent), sadistic comments, coercion and control, crazy making, and an incident with me alone in a car where she verbally abused me. I reached out to a couple of trusted female friends to try and raise my concerns.

However, because she claims to be a victim of a narcissistic ex who has manipulated the courts against her, resulting in only being able to see her children 3 hours a fortnight, the narrative flipped on me and now I am supposedly the one who is manipulating everyone against her. I am a lot stronger than I used to be but the whole thing was so traumatic I doubt I would have survived it a few years ago. To have friends I genuinely cared about flip on me over someone they hardly know was traumatising.

I instead chose to walk away from it all. I realised whatever I said wouldn't help, that this woman obviously hadn't shown the side of herself I saw to others and the more I attempt to convince people or show any kind of emotion it will work against me. So I have essentially walked away from my entire friends group. I am sure many people aren't even aware of what happened, but I don't feel comfortable ever returning, in fear that anything I do or say may feed into this alternate reality that seems to have been created.

I just cannot believe how quickly it all happened. I know to trust me gut in future, to maintain firm boundaries and stop people pleasing and doing things I don't feel comfortable with.

I appreciate having adult discussions about things. I try not to make knee jerk reactions and look at the pros and cons of situations. I can admit when I'm wrong and can have my opinion swayed based on new evidence.

The thing I find strange is that as well as appreciating people concerns I have stated reasons why a business would make the change to digital, why multiple factors are at play and that in my opinion, many of the things people are so concerned about, haven't even happened yet.

What makes it so difficult for people to see that there are pros and cons to going digital and that just because I point things out, it doesn't make me some Sony shill or bot. None of these changes make Sony evil, and I am certainly not attempting to protect them, yet they are a business like any other and make decisions that take into consideration advancements in technology, trends in customer behaviour and things that impact the overall sales they make.

Edit: one key point people seem to forget is how expensive it is to go physical for smaller devs and devs that produce risky titles. If these smaller devs do currently go physical then the second hand market massively effects their profits. So they go digital, and then gamers boycott them because it's digital only and then the games only just break even or accrue sales over a long period of time, and this directly influences the drive for smaller devs to create risky games, cult games, so it then forces them to stay safe and the type of games we enjoy reduce. So if they knew for certain people would by physical they might take that risk, but for smaller devs to have a situation where they sell one copy and it can then be resold an unlimited amount of times creates a genuine issue. And as a lot of people don't care if they buy new or second hand this creates a huge problem.

Currently this whole boycotting only digital games is causing a huge issue for up and coming games. But by doing this you are essentially ruining the chances of games you really want to play coming out. So companies stay safe, they stay with what they know sells, which is how we got to where we have with the gaming industry.

Even larger companies like Epic games choose not to produce physical copies for some titles based on the fact that they are more risky. Alan wake 2 is a perfect example, which was boycotted because it was digital only and now the chances of there ever being another one has deeply effected.

I need to be honest and say that I am incredibly confused about something that's happened recently. I feel like a bad person and unsure what to do.

A woman has joined our friends group. The first time I met her was when we were heading out to a party. I gave some friends a lift and she when in a separate car. By the time she turned up with my friend, who also didn't know her she was struggling to walk and although she got into the party, slowly became more and more drunk and had to go home. My female friends told me she was going through a rough time and so I helped her get to the car and she left.

the following weekend I dropped her a message to check if she was ok, she said her bike was broken and so I dropped over to fix it. She invited me in and while I was there she told me her situation. She has had her children taken away and says her husband has abused her and has minipulated the situation to say he is being abused and turned her oldest daughter against her. At some point I said I'd been through a breakup and mentioned that I'd taken time to look back on that period and see if there was anything I could have done better, to learn from and turn it into a positive learning experience. She has already been through the freedom programme, but thought I would ask her if she had done the same. She didn't really mention anything and then carried on talking and then before I left said she told me she thought my friend had spiked her drink along with many things and then said she thought if she got custody her partner would kill her.

Fast forward another week and i find out she is unhappy with me and wants to meet and has told some female friends I upset her. We meet and she tells me she is unhappy and said I obviously didn't believe what she told her. I said I didn't know her but appreciated what she was telling me sounded like an awful situation. I found the interaction strange, like she wouldn't accept things unless i said categorically I believed her.

Then at a party a few weeks later she turned up with a gift for me and then was rude about a friend I have known for years. She was spiteful and vindictive. I stopped her in her tracks and told her that I didn't want to hear it. I gave her a lift home that night and I asked her what had happened and from what she said it appears she assumed the worst of this person. I started to feel uneasy and made the decision to not contact her anymore.

later that week she contacted me to say one of her cats had escaped her flat. It felt like she was expecting me to come and help find them, but I said I hoped she found her cat and ended the conversation.

Then last weekend me and the friend she had implied spiked her drink were going out. He put out a little invite in our whatsapp group and she wanted to come, which I found strange considering the concerns she had expressed about him. She came along and then after a good evening she asked for a lift home and said she was angry with me again. She brought up something about the way I had phrased something we were discussing about her claiming benefits and said I had accused her of rigging things, she then accused me of trying to set her up with my friend and then said it was obvious I fancied another female friend and that I should "get that out of my head". I remained calm but I couldn't believe the change in her. I set her straight on the things she was saying and after dropping her off I felt so uncomfortable I sent a video message to myself when I got home so that I could prove i got home when I did and also messaged a friend.

I reached out to two female friends over this and I think I may have made myself look like some kind of crazy paranoid guy who has zero sympathy for someone who is in a difficult situation. I certainly pointed out the red flags and said i was deeply uncomfortable and I was incredibly angry about how I had been treated. A couple of days later she apologised and said she regretted saying what she did and said she had never reacted like that before and felt bad. She then said that it must be something to do with our dynamic and that if I didn't want to reply I didn't have to but she was happy to meet. I replied to say that i was grateful for her apology but for me I didn't feel comfortable being friends. I said I was happy for her to hang out with my friends but I wanted some distance. She then said ok and she needed some distance to and I then said it was great that she was being reflective, that everyone makes mistakes. Then, she left the left the whatsapp group our group of friends have.

Now, one of my best female friends isn't talking to me. She said she felt I handled it wrong and that I didn't show compassion for this woman who was vulnerable. When I replied to her and said on reflection I would probably do things different she replied to say leave the woman alone. It's all felt very strange and as if more has happened than I know about. Although, to be fair, I may have come across as uncaring. However there were so many things in such a short space of time, more than I've ever had with anyone ever, that I wasn't prepared to have someone speak like that to me.

I feel bad but at the same time something feels very wrong about all this and I actually felt proud for erecting boundaries for one of the first times in my life.

There were other strange things, like saying her neighbour is trying to get her thrown out her flats, that when she said she didn't want to talk about something that I was wrong and that I should have and also mentioning she had a feud with her brothers sister that has lasted 15 years. It's felt that with every meeting theres another issue.

I am happy to accept I am wrong, I know like anyone else I make mistakes. But I can't help but feel that things were headed in this direction from the very beginning. It felt that I wasn't allowed to have my own thoughts or boundaries and they found this impossible to deal with.

https://preview.redd.it/ds6adpsbeleh1.png?width=1054&format=png&auto=webp&s=ec30de75c64c254d36921dddecb10003c71dd69b

When companies make big changes they do a lot of research before hand. They look at the change they are going to make and a lot of work is put in to see how it will affect sales. A huge amount of work is gone into this: both research and using AI to harvest data etc.

They will be able to see whether games were bought as physical copies or digital sales and they will be able to compare their figures to the amount of people who have installed the games on their systems . They will know how many of the gaming community buy physical or digital and how long they play their games for. They will also be able to see if they reviewed any games they bought, is part of any particular online groups and whether they are happy with the games they play or are overly critical of games in general. As every single game usually requires at least an online connection to access the game initially, even before taking it offline to play in that format long term, they will be able to see how many games they sold new, and then how many games were installed on systems where the sales cannot be accounted for. So they can essentially see how many sales they are losing through the second hand market.

Sony and in fact all manufacturers have done the math and they foresaw the fallout of this change being made.

You need to accept that they knew about the fallout and because they realised that many physical gamers buy second hand, they decided you weren't that good customers, and so were more than happy to lose you.

Years ago my family used to run a farm. They sold eggs. They sold eggs to local shops and businesses and made a tidy profit until the big supermarkets moved in and started demanding my grandfather sold the eggs for less and less, until eventually it wasn't worth running the businesses anymore.

Now, imagine an egg could be re-used. So when you sold an egg, you weren't just selling one, but selling an infinite number of sales of that one egg, but yet you don't see a single penny of the resale of that egg. Imagine the impact it has on the business that spent the time and money producing that original egg in the first place. Whether it be a small business or a far larger one, there is an obvious problem in the pipeline that essentially means that untold amounts of profit is being handed to middle men.

It's all well and good seeing Sony as an evil corporation, but this whole process also impacts smaller games developers, and currently in the physical game supply chain there are businesses in between the producer and the customer. The reason customers have been able to buy copies of games at a knocked down price compared to the rrp is because of the leverage those middle men had in the process. Supermarkets and games retailers were the only place games were bought by the casual gamer and therefore they were able to buy a large number of copies in bulk, and leverage the price of these copies down.

The issue comes when games can be resold. Whilst this is great for the consumer, as games development becomes far more time consuming and costly, with the aftercare and input required by developers after release growing exponentially, physical gaming becomes a problem.

If we look at a game such as No Mans Sky. With a rocky release the developers turned things around and at no point in all the years the game has been improved have they asked for a single penny after the initial sale. There is an expectation that because there will be enough further copies sold, that this will finance further development.

Yet, that's not how physical gaming works. Middle men buy copies of the game in bulk due to their leverage, then sell them at a lower price than the rrp. Many of these companies historically also had a 2nd hand game business, which offered deals for trading in new games. After the first sale of a game neither the developer or Sony sees a single penny, yet the middle man does, he can sell that game as many times as they want, and the customer can play that game and give a review online of that game, even though their money didn't even reach the people that produced it.

Combine this with demanding customer base that demands constant updates, new content, all for absolutely nothing, then you begin to see why physical gaming doesn't make any sense for any games developer or console maker.

If you then take into consideration what's involved in the manufacturing costs, shipping, the copies that don't get sold and the low prices middle men are still demanding to buy games even though they are buying them in far fewer quantities, and that, on the whole, most of the people who buy physical copies of games buy them second hand anyway, it's easy to see why as a business it simply doesn't make financial sense to be doing it any longer.