u/Beginning_Visual9009

I’m 30, I’ve always been single, and I live at home. I’ve never really been on something that would qualify as an actual date. I’m proud of myself for making some female friends over the last few years, but I don't know how to flirt or approach women. I think the biggest issue is a lack of self-confidence. I really don’t like myself, and while I think that in person I’m a very nice guy, so much of dating is about selling yourself as a human being, and I think that people can pick up on that lack of confidence or any ability to flirt. I need a life Coach.

I don’t want to be this way anymore. I want to try and step out of my shell, but I have a crippling fear of rejection and an even bigger fear of making people uncomfortable. I genuinely come at things with good intentions, but I’m just extremely awkward. Money is tight right now, so I can’t exactly pay for a ton of therapy, but is there any way I can better myself? I don’t even really know how to say hello properly.

I’ll happily answer any other questions that people have.

I’ve been evolving and growing over the last few years. I’m more proud of myself than I’ve ever been. I know that I’ve been through a lot, and I’ve become a better person because of it. I’ve finally started making some friends, even women. Still, the one thing that's bothering me is my ability to be really flirtatious or physically attractive to women, and I feel like, in social situations, I’m such a dud.

I can feel my autism coming out with everything that I do. It’s just total awkwardness and frustration. I’m not being a jerk person. I’m not being mean to people. I don’t think I’m a bad person to be around, but so much of dating in flirtation is about selling yourself as a person, and I’m completely unable to sell myself. The lack of confidence is staggering.

I love going to the Ballpark, and I’ve been to a few games with women over the last year, but I always end up getting friends zoned, and I think the biggest reason is that I’m unable to come across as a socially confident or attractive person. I feel like this is true, given that I’m in my 30s and have yet to have a conversation with a single woman who tells me I look good. It's a testament to my lack of charisma when it comes to flirting. Is there anyone out there on the spectrum who can relate to this? What can I do to work on this?

I want to try to keep this as short as possible. I’ll just say that several years ago I developed very strong feelings for a coworker who was married at the time. I never acted on those feelings, but I think she had a pretty good idea. I also had a pretty good idea that she was very unhappy in her marriage. We ended up having a bit of a falling-out. I went on with my life, found another job, and she went on doing her thing, even moving out of state.

It’s been four years, and her marriage has since fallen apart. She’s now divorced and very clearly abusing substances. I’ve been following her social media, where she’s made references to the fact that she may be considering selling herself for money (I believe this means starting an OnlyFans) and talks about how she can’t wait to get new tits. I got to know her well enough to learn about her family’s history, her own struggles, and some of her vices.

Bottom line, when I look at her, I see a woman on a horrible road. I think she’s just gonna end up bouncing from one toxic relationship to another and may end up doing serious harm to herself. I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic. People who still work with her have told me that she’s been a wreck lately.
As much as I would like to reach out and talk to her again, I know that she has moved on, and I need to as well. I don’t know how. For some reason, deep in my heart I feel like we’re meant for each other.

We’ve had similar struggles in life, and I know that there was a connection between us a while back. Maybe it’s a savior complex on my part, but I can’t stop thinking about her. If something bad were to happen to her, I would blame myself. I could’ve done something. I don’t know what to do.

I want to try to keep this as short as possible. I’ll just say that several years ago I developed very strong feelings for a coworker who was married at the time. I never acted on those feelings, but I think she had a pretty good idea. I also had a pretty good idea that she was very unhappy in her marriage. We ended up having a bit of a falling-out. I went on with my life, found another job, and she went on doing her thing, even moving out of state.

It’s been four years, and her marriage has since fallen apart. She’s now divorced and very clearly abusing substances. I’ve been following her social media, where she’s made references to the fact that she may be considering selling herself for money (I believe this means starting an OnlyFans) and talks about how she can’t wait to get new tits. I got to know her well enough to learn about her family’s history, her own struggles, and some of her vices.

Bottom line, when I look at her, I see a woman on a horrible road. I think she’s just gonna end up bouncing from one toxic relationship to another and may end up doing serious harm to herself. I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic. People who still work with her have told me that she’s been a wreck lately.
As much as I would like to reach out and talk to her again, I know that she has moved on, and I need to as well. I don’t know how. For some reason, deep in my heart I feel like we’re meant for each other.
We’ve had similar struggles in life, and I know that there was a connection between us a while back. Maybe it’s a savior complex on my part, but I can’t stop thinking about her. If something bad were to happen to her, I would blame myself. I could’ve done something. I don’t know what to do.