u/Beneficial_Hunter_91

I 22M am stuck, I was raised in a Muslim household and would go along with it until I was about 17 in which I veered off the traditional path. But never had a conversation with my mother as that is who she is. Also for my context divorced mother and had a horrible divorce with father having a second family while married to her and stealing from her after second child. I just graduated this Friday college. I have a job coming in September. I couldn’t be happier I have had a gf for at this point we are at almost a year and 3 months. I told my mom at the brunch celebration I wanted her to meet her but as a friend as I said it was nothing serious as I am not getting engaged to her anytime soon. Well the day was amazing I was so happy watching the woman I love in my life dancing together. Then the next day is Mother’s Day my mom learns from my cousin that I didn’t follow the religion and fast during Ramadan. This becomes a night mare I start telling the truth of how I don’t want to be Muslim never have been and they are looking at me like I am a devil. Then in a blink of an eye my mom flys me home. Is telling me never to talk to anyone I meet in college and telling me become a Muslim or get out of my house in a week. I have 500 dollars to my name no close job it’s a hour away my mom owns the car. I want my mom in my life but I want to live my life the way I want if my mom doesn’t approve of it or it doesn’t fall under the religion as right she doesn’t want to know me. I don’t know what to do I love this girl I see a future with her she is telling me to come to her a 1,000 miles away where I went to college and stay with her until my full time job starts and save up with her to get a apartment near it or see if I can get transferred to live with her. But I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose my mother but also I want to live life to my fullest and do what’s best for my future self. I am stuck in between I know this girl can break up with me but it means more than that. It means I am choosing who I am but my mother will hate me and will force me to pay back every dollar for college. (She paid for my college). My GF 22F just graduated as well we both have ft jobs coming up and we could manage but right now it would be really hard for me to manage as I would have no clothes almost no money I could live with my gf but I still would need to pay some rent and food and don’t have a car I would be homeless essentially. I don’t want to put her through this but I see a future with this girl I don’t know what to do.

Looking for advice from people who have been through religious family conflict, leaving home with little money, or just anyone who has faced a moment like this. Practical and emotional advice both needed.

I 22M am stuck, I was raised in a Muslim household and would go along with it until I was about 17 in which I veered off the traditional path. But never had a conversation with my mother as that is who she is. Also for my context divorced mother and had a horrible divorce with father having a second family while married to her and stealing from her after second child. I just graduated this Friday college. I have a job coming in September. I couldn’t be happier I have had a gf for at this point we are at almost a year and 3 months. I told my mom at the brunch celebration I wanted her to meet her but as a friend as I said it was nothing serious as I am not getting engaged to her anytime soon. Well the day was amazing I was so happy watching the woman I love in my life dancing together. Then the next day is Mother’s Day my mom learns from my cousin that I didn’t follow the religion and fast during Ramadan. This becomes a night mare I start telling the truth of how I don’t want to be Muslim never have been and they are looking at me like I am a devil. Then in a blink of an eye my mom flys me home. Is telling me never to talk to anyone I meet in college and telling me become a Muslim or get out of my house in a week. I have 500 dollars to my name no close job it’s a hour away my mom owns the car. I want my mom in my life but I want to live my life the way I want if my mom doesn’t approve of it or it doesn’t fall under the religion as right she doesn’t want to know me. I don’t know what to do I love this girl I see a future with her she is telling me to come to her a 1,000 miles away where I went to college and stay with her until my full time job starts and save up with her to get a apartment near it or see if I can get transferred to live with her. But I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose my mother but also I want to live life to my fullest and do what’s best for my future self. I am stuck in between I know this girl can break up with me but it means more than that. It means I am choosing who I am but my mother will hate me and will force me to pay back every dollar for college. (She paid for my college). My GF 22F just graduated as well we both have ft jobs coming up and we could manage but right now it would be really hard for me to manage as I would have no clothes almost no money I could live with my gf but I still would need to pay some rent and food and don’t have a car I would be homeless essentially. I don’t want to put her through this but I see a future with this girl I don’t know what to do.

Looking for advice from people who have been through religious family conflict, leaving home with little money, or just anyone who has faced a moment like this. Practical and emotional advice both needed.

I 22M am stuck, I was raised in a Muslim household and would go along with it until I was about 17 in which I veered off the traditional path. But never had a conversation with my mother as that is who she is. Also for my context divorced mother and had a horrible divorce with father having a second family while married to her and stealing from her after second child. I just graduated this Friday college. I have a job coming in September. I couldn’t be happier I have had a gf for at this point we are at almost a year and 3 months. I told my mom at the brunch celebration I wanted her to meet her but as a friend as I said it was nothing serious as I am not getting engaged to her anytime soon. Well the day was amazing I was so happy watching the woman I love in my life dancing together. Then the next day is Mother’s Day my mom learns from my cousin that I didn’t follow the religion and fast during Ramadan. This becomes a night mare I start telling the truth of how I don’t want to be Muslim never have been and they are looking at me like I am a devil. Then in a blink of an eye my mom flys me home. Is telling me never to talk to anyone I meet in college and telling me become a Muslim or get out of my house in a week. I have 500 dollars to my name no close job it’s a hour away my mom owns the car. I want my mom in my life but I want to live my life the way I want if my mom doesn’t approve of it or it doesn’t fall under the religion as right she doesn’t want to know me. I don’t know what to do I love this girl I see a future with her she is telling me to come to her a 1,000 miles away where I went to college and stay with her until my full time job starts and save up with her to get a apartment near it or see if I can get transferred to live with her. But I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose my mother but also I want to live life to my fullest and do what’s best for my future self. I am stuck in between I know this girl can break up with me but it means more than that. It means I am choosing who I am but my mother will hate me and will force me to pay back every dollar for college. (She paid for my college)

Any advice or feedback would mean the world to me as I am so lost and scared and I know this is a vital moment that will change my life forever.

Especially from people who have been through religious family conflict, leaving home with little money, or just anyone who has faced a moment like this. Practical and emotional advice both needed.

I 22M am stuck, I was raised in a Muslim household and would go along with it until I was about 17 in which I veered off the traditional path. But never had a conversation with my mother as that is who she is. Also for my context divorced mother and had a horrible divorce with father having a second family while married to her and stealing from her after second child. I just graduated this Friday college. I have a job coming in September. I couldn’t be happier I have had a gf for at this point we are at almost a year and 3 months. I told my mom at the brunch celebration I wanted her to meet her but as a friend as I said it was nothing serious as I am not getting engaged to her anytime soon. Well the day was amazing I was so happy watching the woman I love in my life dancing together. Then the next day is Mother’s Day my mom learns from my cousin that I didn’t follow the religion and fast during Ramadan. This becomes a night mare I start telling the truth of how I don’t want to be Muslim never have been and they are looking at me like I am a devil. Then in a blink of an eye my mom flys me home. Is telling me never to talk to anyone I meet in college and telling me become a Muslim or get out of my house in a week. I have 500 dollars to my name no close job it’s a hour away my mom owns the car. I want my mom in my life but I want to live my life the way I want if my mom doesn’t approve of it or it doesn’t fall under the religion as right she doesn’t want to know me. I don’t know what to do I love this girl I see a future with her she is telling me to come to her a 1,000 miles away where I went to college and stay with her until my full time job starts and save up with her to get a apartment near it or see if I can get transferred to live with her. But I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose my mother but also I want to live life to my fullest and do what’s best for my future self. I am stuck in between I know this girl can break up with me but it means more than that. It means I am choosing who I am but my mother will hate me and will force me to pay back every dollar for college. (She paid for my college)

Any advice or feedback would mean the world to me as I am so lost and scared and I know this is a vital moment that will change my life forever.

Especially from people who have been through religious family conflict, leaving home with little money, or just anyone who has faced a moment like this. Practical and emotional advice both needed.

For context, I'm completely financially dependent on my mother. I'm a 22-year-old male, just graduated from college, have a job that starts three to four months from now. My mom just found out that I'm not religious at all. I've been leading her on, just telling her, "Okay, okay. I fasted, I'm good, whatever, whatever." I told my cousin, and as I got closer to her, she told her sister, her sister told her aunt, and it got to my mom. Now my mom knows I have a girlfriend. She knows I'm not religious, and she's essentially trying to do an intervention by bringing me home and trying to take back control.

My girlfriend's side: Essentially, we saw this coming ever since we got serious and into this relationship and continued with each other, despite knowing the fact that it's not going to be easy on the family side due to conflicting religions. We're pretty much still set on wanting to go through with this. It's just that everything happened a lot faster than we initially thought, like 3 to 4 months faster.

The plan is for the boyfriend to go with the flow with the family, since he's still financially dependent on them. As soon as he starts his full-time job and both of us have financial leverage since we're just out of college, the obvious plan is to let loose and go away from the family if it comes to a point of deciding between them and the relationship. Please help.

How to go about this? I'm currently being flown out a day after all of this is let loose into the wild with my mother and also a mother who has a traumatic event connected to the religion through a divorce. She believes that I'm going to fall down that same path as the divorced man, which was a very bad, horrible path.